Family cant afford Christmas

74jax

I wouldn't no, if it was my hubby's friend and he wanted to then it's his money.


Why does your wife see it as down to you? I totally get where you're coming from and no you don't appear like scrooge. Maybe the parents of the kids do, by favouring their cigarettes against Christmas, but it's their choice. Not one for you to bail them out of.

Pollycat

curty510 wrote: »

A friend of my wife has asked if we can lend her some money for Christmas, as she said she hasn't been 'paid' this month and cannot afford presents/food etc for her family(husband & 3 kids).

Now when I say paid, neither of them work, nothing wrong with them, just dont work and claim multiple benefits. I don't know the reason for them not being paid , I presume sanctions or a blatant lie, don't know, nor care.

My wife is more than happy to lend them £500, I am 100% against it as i doubt we will see it back and I cannot abide the lot of them. She feels for their children as it is not their fault that the parents are total losers. In the 5 years we have been in this village we have not known them to work, they drink a lot, both smoke(i refer to them as 'The Clampitts'.....so shy should i bail them out?

I have savings available, and if they were my kids/grandkids i would be in the bank now and not expect it back. But as i said i cannot stand them, but OH gets on with the wife through a club.

I probably come across as a bit scrooge like, im not, i can afford to lose the money, but don't see why i should.

Would you bail them out?

Did they ask for £500 or is that the amount your wife is thinking about lending them?

I wouldn't lend them anything, you would be funding their smoking/drinking habits.

If they haven't asked for a specific amount, I might ask them if they would like me to buy them a turkey big enough to feed 2 adults and 3 kids and the trimmings.
I'd also buy the kids some chocolates.

But if they've asked for £500, they can go whistle.

Poor_Single_lady

But if it's true that means that a lot of people replying are happy for 3 children to wake up on Christmas morning without any presents. That breaks my heart. I don't want any kids waking up without presents on Christmas Day and I don't care if their parents work or not.

I would send gifts for the kids not cash and as someone else said lunch from Asda. £500 is excessive though but they can't not have anything. Have people forgotten what it's like to be a child. I feel really sad by this thread. Very much hoping it's fictional.

annandale

For someone who doesn't know nor care why they've had their benefits stopped the OP seems to know just about everything else about their lives!

Claim multiple benefits! Drink! Smoke!

Do they have a sky dish and a motability car as well?

All that's needed to round off this tale is that they have a sky dish, a motability car and the husband works on the side.

fierystormcloud

Not in a million years. Never ever ever. I can't believe the woman actually asked for the money! What a cheek! Just assuming you have half a grand to shell out to someone who can't handle their finances. I would never ask anyone for money. Hell would freeze over before I would go cap in hand to a soul for money, let alone a flippin' neighbour!

Someone I know had a similar situation a while back. Her husband knew a woman (15 years older than them) who was an ex work colleague. Pleasant enough woman, but high maintenance. Widowed aged 55, but always seemed to flash the cash, holidays here and there, £1000 on some oak furniture, £100 on an outfit, £4K cash on a 5 year old car, shoes and handbags galore... Not bad for a woman on her own. (Had a smallish mortgage...)

Then about a year ago, she started griping about how she was suddenly broke; my friend and her husband couldn't figure out why. Upshot is, she had been fleecing benefits; claiming several she should not have been claiming, and they were stopped, (the ones she wasn't t entitled to,) and she had to pay back what she owed -in instalments- out of her remaining benefit. She was then on the breadline.

Every time she spoke to my friend's husband, she whined about money, and how she had been forced to pay back the money and couldn't afford to buy much food etc etc. And time after time it was the 'no money' whinge. Then (shocker) she came on the phone and said she had no money for her gas bill. Cue friend's husband OFFERING to pay it for her. (£300.) My friend went mad, as she couldn't even give her own relatives money if they were short, as they had their own family to support, and their own bills to pay.

The bank account was joint (thankfully,) and needed both signatures to withdraw money, or transfer money, or write a cheque. So it never happened. He ranted on and said 'well YOU explain to her why she won't have any heating this winter then!' My friend told him to do one, and the woman was nothing to her. She said 'the woman isn't even a friend of mine, let alone a relative!' She was right, it's not like she was an elderly aunt, or her mother.

She didn't feel a shred of guilt, and quite rightly so, especially as the woman had been having a field day for 5 years or more by fleecing benefits, whilst my friend and her husband just got by.

The woman still rings occasionally and whinges about money, and poor little hubby had to explain to her that he hadn't got the money after all. She was actually pretty annoyed and irritated that he 'went back' on his promise LOL!!! This made my friend even more glad she had refused! This woman has recently sold her house with a view to buying something much smaller and cheaper, so she can pay off a few loans, and the debt she owes to the DWP!

So I re-iterate, do NOT loan this person any money.

Never a borrower or lender be.

Poor_Single_lady

People think because it doesn't happen to anybody they know that it doesn't actually happen. My ex partner grew up majorly poor. His dad was an alcoholic and drank all the money. They had a few Christmas with no presents.

I couldn't cope looking at pictures of him as a child. It just hurt too much. i honestly would have given anything to have fixed that, no child should have a Christmas without presents. So I suppose people might feel differently if Christmas without presents has come to their life for real rather than in a concept of faceless council house children.

Izadora

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

People think because it doesn't happen to anybody they know that it doesn't actually happen.

I don't think anyone's saying that it doesn't happen, they're just pointing out that they wouldn't hand over a large amount of cash to people who are in a mess which is likely to be of their own making.

As for the "Oh, but won't someone think of the poor children!!!!", it's already been pointed out several times that it would be more sensible to buy food and a couple of presents for the kids so that you know that whatever you choose to give will actually benefit the children rather than bolster the parents' food and booze fund.

LMG1305

I wouldn't hand over the cash but I would buy a food parcel for them & some small gifts for the children for them to open on Christmas Day.

annandale

It amazes me how some people always know someone who did something terrible with benefits and ended up existing on gruel.

I know someone who claimed benefits that haven't even been invented yet to try and defraud the Dwp!

Still, if this tall tale makes some people spit feathers fair enough :rotfl:

fairy_lights

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I couldn't cope looking at pictures of him as a child. It just hurt too much. i honestly would have given anything to have fixed that, no child should have a Christmas without presents. So I suppose people might feel differently if Christmas without presents has come to their life for real rather than in a concept of faceless council house children.

But that's the thing - no one can bear to think of kids going presentless and hungry at Christmas, which is why it's so easy for people to use the "think of the poor kiddies" line to manipulate people in to giving them cash.