comparing myself to others.

leunger

don't need to feel bad for thinking like that as it is just part of human nature.

grass is also seem greener on the other side at first but as long as you are happy with what you have and the way you live then that is what matter the most. trying to get the same as others just to fit in or try to impress normally backfire in the long run.

people make mistakes and mistakes cost you one way or the other, the most important part is you learnt from it, have a plan and work toward resolving it. you guys obviously have done that so now only 1 way to go and it is UP.

all the best.

tlc678910

Hi,
If you are feeling like life is on hold until your debts are clear I wonder if you have cut back too hard?

Some people on here would recommend cutting to the bone while in debt, others find slow and steady wins the race.

You mentioned most of your debt is on low or 0% interest. If you can pay a thousand pound a month off the capital you will clear your debt in less than four years.

You could consider committing to this (a thousand off the capital) - and as any interest reduces you will have a little more money. I'm not suggesting you loosen the purse strings and spend more freely but perhaps carefully considered holiday, Christmas and leisure budgets along with pots saved up for your annual bills and emergencies would be right for you.

Or as you prefer cut back hard for a shorter time as you are.

Good luck
Tlc

lessonlearned

I would recommend a small treat fund, even just £50 a month can go a long way if you are a bit canny.

Decked

Hi,
I don't claim to be an expert and accept that everybody's circumstances are different, however 4 years ago I owed £58k, plus 3 lots of hire purchase.
I totally understand your feelings that all is on hold and everybody else is doing so much better than you. What is done is done. You don't know what position others are in, nobody knows the position I was in.
What I can say is that through 4 years hard work on a DMP, I now owe about £15k. To some people on this forum owing £15k would seem like the end of the world, currently for me, it is a really bright light at the end of a tunnel. Bearing in mind during the 4 years, we have also cleared the HP on the cars and knocked about £30k off the mortgage.
What I do know is that at the end of January, many of my colleagues and friends will be dreading their credit card bill, I don't dread mine, because I haven't got one, and oh that feels so good when other people's bills come in. All I can suggest is that you stick with it, you'll get over not having those impulse buys, or at least I did.
We perhaps cut back too much in the start, but slowly made more room in the budget for a few drinks out or a trip to the pictures. I have just done my review with stepchange and I have massaged my budget to make sure I have a bit extra free each month, but also so this time next year I will be debt free:j
Hope some of this helps, stick in there and start to get a good feeling from not spending, rather than spending. It's a long road, but you are already part way down it. Good luck.

sourcrates

I've had various jobs throughout my life, some very well paid, some not.

I also ended up with nearly 60k of unsecured debt by the time I was 40.

My neighbours over the road had a house built from scratch, they have two cars, foreign holidays, designer clothes.

He works in a factory, she works part time in a shop, neither one comes from what you'd call money, so I can only assume it's all funded by credit, and I recon it's a fair old whack they must owe.

I now work part time, have no debt, and live within my means, I have inner peace I never had before.

I know who I would rather be.

MrsTinks

sourcrates wrote: »

I've had various jobs throughout my life, some very well paid, some not.

I also ended up with nearly 60k of unsecured debt by the time I was 40.

My neighbours over the road had a house built from scratch, they have two cars, foreign holidays, designer clothes.

He works in a factory, she works part time in a shop, neither one comes from what you'd call money, so I can only assume it's all funded by credit, and I recon it's a fair old whack they must owe.

I now work part time, have no debt, and live within my means, I have inner peace I never had before.

I know who I would rather be.

Just checked to see you didn't live opposite me LOL - not that I work part time :rotfl::rotfl: quite the opposite! And DH definitely doesn't work in a factory He's many things but I wouldn't trust him in a practical environment I even call a friend when I need shelves putting up :eek:

SlopingBird

Moon81 your post really rang a chord.

Ten years ago I was a single parent working long hours in a well-paid job I hated, but still struggling to cover my mortgage and bills. Back then, my youngest daughter's best friend's parents seemed to have it all - the large and ever-expanding semi, US holidays, two cars and endless clothes and nights out. I could never fathom out how they did it all on one average full-time and one low part-time income (there was no money in the family so handouts were unlikely).

Fast forward six years and they were divorcing, driven apart by huge debts. Their beautiful home was sold and almost all the capital was owed on the mortgage and other debts. Still they didn't seem to learn and the first house they rented was large and located in the most expensive part of the city. Eventually, their money problems drove them apart and they are now divorced.

Though I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone, it just highlights how little we know about one another's financial situation. I remember how I would admire their latest acquisition - like the new £18k conservatory or the extensive wood decking - and feel so envious. I had to budget carefully to buy a few tins of paint!

I wish you all the best with your debt-free challenge. It's a much happier way to live in the long-term.

[Deleted User]

Looking on the bright side, you have 1700 per month towards debt repayment. That's a pretty good position to be in. Imagine if you were on jobseekers with that debt.

ReadingTim

moon81 wrote: »

I see friends who are clearly in a much better position that we are, despite earning the same, or in some cases less than we do.

Logically, this can't be true. They've either been luckier (money from family, lottery win, investment etc) than you, earn more than you, or have more debt than you. In the UK we're very reserved when it comes to talking about money, so you'll never know the whole story, but try and turn your envy to pity because you've had your LBM, and they haven't, and if/when they do, it's going to be a whole lot worse...

freshcotton

Money brings out the worse in humans. I'm not judging, god knows iv been in £25k debt and was a mug to the commercial world. But it's interesting how we don't compare our lives to those who are drastically less well off than us. In this country, let alone off shore.

Spending money and enjoying life are completely different concepts and you can control how much they overlap.

Companies spend millions making you feel that they are the same thing.

Being frugle is refreshing. Accept that it's the life you want to live and what others do will become irrelevant.