Flush by 30?

Bobarella

Wow JWPopps I'm another that is thinking you are amazing! I think you must have way more compassion than the average person!

In terms of practical advice, I was thinking of the newborn, and just thinking what can I say to help? I can't imagine what it must be like to have a baby and not come home to your partner's help. From my own situation only I can say that the coping will come down to things like how difficult the birth is, if she has to have a c section, she will need more help initially, as it's a major op. Most people I know that had them took a lot longer than me to be up and about, and doing things.
Feeding will be another big part to it. If she can breastfeed that will be a different set up at night than if the baby needs bottles.
The rest comes down to what kind of baby it is, some are very easy going and some might get colic etc.
I'd be willing to guess that the first three to four months she will need help overnight. Is there anything in place for support other than you during that time? I am worried that you will be tired out and have your day job to do as well.
I'm not trying to be negative, I just think taking on a newborn is hard for anyone.

I really do think you are amazing.

JWPopps

Hello everyone

Weekly update time!

My expenses to pay off my credit card are rolling in slowly - and it occurs to me that I've hit one of the first targets I set myself, which was to have an active credit card that then gets paid off every month. I'm managing that! It's happening!

I'm still in Manic Month - the charity are being slow about letting me know when my lodger is moving in, and I'm away for this work thing from Thursday-Thursday so it's not really an ideal time. But hey, that's all fine - we'll get there in the end.

It's been an expensive start to my financial month (I get paid on the 21st of the month) as I had to buy 2 new bras... I'd been wearing a rotation of about 4 for 2 years and two of them tried to stab me in the heart last week. So, £60 down but at least I know I haven't changed sizing at all, so I can't have piled on as much weight as I thought!

Hope everyone else is doing well

Bobarella

I shouldn't laugh at your heart stabbing bras, but, I did

JWPopps

Hello everyone,

I took a few weeks off updating here not because I've given up, but because I've had so much on I felt like I was constantly chasing my tail. However, things have moved on nicely!

Update

• My Mum is currently in the process of moving out, she will be officially 'moved in' this evening
• My long-term lodger from the charity will be moving immediately into my mum's vacated room tomorrow at 2pm (and I've wangled a half day off work)
• I've done 2 out of 3 of my modules in Coventry for this year. One more in a couple of weeks and then I'm intending to write all three assignments in the week off I have in June.

So, I think those were my biggest three stresses, and I feel a bit like they're less stressful now. My house already looks so much less cluttered with my mum's stuff all packed away in boxes or in the boot of her car, so I'm excited to really be able to make the house feel like mine.

I've met my lodger and she's a delightful young woman. It's been a bit of a drawn-out process getting her moved out of her current (less than ideal) situation, but it's perfect timing really with Mum's move. I've told the charity I won't be doing any of the short-term places for at least a couple of months until she gets settled, so I have time to finish off a few bits that need doing in the house as well (like painting skirtings etc)

I had an amazing time at my friends' wedding in Holland as well, so that's the last major expense from this year all done and dusted. There have been a few backwards steps finance-wise, but nothing I can't sort out fairly soon I hope!

Right, now to catch up on everyone else's diaries!! :beer:

JWPopps

To really, really prove I'm back and committed to sorting my finances, I've developed some goals which I'm hoping to re-visit at the end of each month between now and the end of November. Then, I want to give myself a month off from worrying in December for Christmas (which also coincides with when my lodger will likely be moving out), so I can do a proper review on 1st January 2018 :eek:

By the end of June:

• Reduce credit card debt to £680
• Reduce loan to £6,820
• Begin a (modest) savings pot with £30
• Paint my bedroom (already got the paint)
• Paint skirting boards (already got the paint)
• Get the last of Mum's stuff moved
• Get new lodger settled in

By the end of July:

• Reduce credit card debt to £360
• Reduce loan to £6,500
• Increase savings pot to £80
• Buy a single bed for the box room
• Buy a new television to replace the one Mum is taking

By the end of August:

• Clear credit card
• Reduce loan to £6,000
• Increase savings pot to £130
• Decorate 'main' spare room (it just needs a coat of paint)

By the end of September:

• Reduce loan to £5,500
• Increase savings pot to £230
• ASSIGNMENT ONE DUE IN

By the end of October:

• Reduce loan to £5,000
• Increase savings pot to £330
• ASSIGNMENT TWO DUE IN

By the end of November:

• Reduce loan to £4,500
• Increase savings pot to £500
• ASSIGNMENT THREE DUE IN

:eek: Goodness me this feels like a challenge!! :eek:
But hopefully a positive one...

Sun_Addict

Glad to see you back Sometimes real life just gets in the way ...

Pleased your mum is sorted out, your lodger sounds promising and you have two modules under your belt

Your goals for the rest of the year look good and achievable

Bobarella

Great to read your update. Glad your Mum is almost there with her new place. When is the lodgers baby due?

JWPopps

Hello everyone!

SA I think I had put a lot of undue pressure on myself, but it's amazing how different my mindset is purely from having some 'milestone events' (like my mum moving out and my lodger moving in) out of the way. It's as though because I knew both of those things were happening I couldn't move forward with anything else until they'd actually happened... if that makes sense!!

Bob she's having a 16 week scan in 2 weeks - I don't know if 16 week scans are normal? Does that put her due date at late-November? Something like that I think. Honestly, I have never been pregnant in my life so I feel a bit under-informed. She told me her baby is currently the size of a nectarine according to some app she has, and I know what a nectarine looks like but I don't think that makes me an expert...

JWPopps

If I thought it was even remotely appropriate, this post would just be a long list of expletives.

Anyone who has read this thread will know that I love my Mum deeply, but we don't always get along. Temperamentally we're too similar, and we've then had very different life experiences on top of that, which means sometimes we don't see eye to eye.

One thing we both agreed on very much was that we wanted her to have her own place as soon as possible, because we both like our own space, we hadn't lived together since 1994, etc etc.

Well, on Thursday last week, she signed a tenancy agreement for a really cute little place not far from me. It's been a long road for her to get there, involving a year out of work, a knee operation, my discovery she is currently on a DMP and then, finally: this. She did it. She's already brightened up because she loves the place, and I've got a long-term lodger through the charity I work with. These are the highs.

As for the lows?

My mum got sacked this morning.

She went into work as normal and was bundled into a meeting with HR in which they told her some pretty unpleasant things, for example complaints have been made against her, to which she said 'well why has no one brought this up with me so I could improve?' and they said that everything was in the letter.

We've just read the letter, and they've given a very different reason for getting rid of her (which I won't detail for not wanting to identify anyone). The letter is much nicer, or at least as nice as a dismissal letter gets, and gives a much more benign reason for her dismissal. Also, because she's worked there less than 2 years she doesn't have an automatic right to unfair dismissal. Lows. All the lows.

She called me as soon as she got home, and obviously she's crushed. She feels like she's right back at square one, and frankly from everything they've said to her the whole thing seems super unfair. I'm not just saying this because she's my mum - there have been management changes and all sorts going on that I think have contributed to this.

I don't know what's going to happen, if she'll need to move back in with me, if she'll need to move around the country for work or what. I just want to go home and give her an enormous hug, and incidentally I'd like her former workplace to be consistently rained on for the next twelve years.

jvr

Why can things never just go right for a little bit??? I'm really sorry neither of you needed this stress or all the emotions that go along with losing a job.
You can't magic away her problems, which is really hard but just being there for her to talk to is still so important.... I hope she finds something soon and things look up for you both!
And can I add what a horrid workplace to dismiss with no warning and lead up review meetings or anything.... may they have thunder with the rain!!