Family member has done something awful

elliesmemory1

A family member has done something awful and illegal.
It's being delt with but I'm so angry, ashamed and embarrassed by it.
Can't go in to details here but just feel so terrible about it all.
I know it's pointless posting here but had to let it out.

gettingtheresometime

Just keep saying it wasn't me who did this.

elliesmemory1

That's what I'm trying to do. I know I'm not responsible but can't help feeling disgusted and embarrassed by it
In a strange way also feel sorry for the relative but it's just so awful and inexcusable.

tacpot12

Posting something on a public forum may be a good thing for you to do. You have recorded and announced that what has been done is abhorrent to you. I hope this helps you start to accept this difficult situation.

Lbuk

It depends how close a relation and if the crime involved violating another human being, but generally speaking it's ok for you to still see the good in those you love even though they've done horrible things. It doesn't equate to condoning their actions if you are there for them as they realise the consequences.

elliesmemory1

It's a fairly close relative. Can't and won't say what they did but I find it really difficult to accept that they could have been involved in such a thing.

Knightsuntold

Oh, massive hugs - that's one grotty situation. What you're feeling is perfectly natural,and there's nothing to say that you have to accept what they've done right away - when you know, and presumably like them, it's hard to see the dark side of people. Give it time, don't be too hard on yourself, and acceptance will gradually happen. You're in a better position than you think - you're not screaming their innocence, and that in itself is a pretty big step.

Mrs_Ryan

Know how it feels to have a family member do something awful- my brother defrauded my elderly and disabled parents out of thousands of pounds. Just wanted to say getting it off your chest helps- you may accept it in time or you may not- there's no right or wrong answer here.
Hugs xx

SailorSam

You and me both MrsR, my Sister conned many many thousands. I'll never forgive her.

elliesmemory1

Thanks, I'm finding it hard to think anyone could do such a thing let alone a relative.
We used to be a close family but over last few years for various reasons have driffed apart quite a bit.
Now this. It's not for me to judge or forgive but I'm am ashamed that someone I'm related to could come to this.

Mr.Generous

is it a "has done it" situation or an "is accused off" ?