Money Moral Dilemma: How do I tell my mum to stop spending?

JWPopps

I suspect most people who have their parents living with them are not doing so at 'invitation' but more because they saw a parent in need, or because their parent swallowed their pride and asked. One of those was the case with me and my mother.

The reason it was/is difficult is because my mother didn't bring me up, my dad did - single-handed. My mother was around maybe twice a year. She is also a difficult woman to live with, as I suspect am I, because both of us have lived alone for a long time (her for 20 years, me for 10). I have also been financially independent of both my parents since I was 17 years old, and have a times been shamed by certain family members for not having the money to do nice things. So it was with a huge deep breath and a conscious letting go of considerable bitterness (not saying that it's all gone, but most of it is) that allowed my mother to move into the home I worked so hard to buy for myself.

Now, all of the above is personal to me, and therefore won't describe anyone else's situation, but I hope it serves to illustrate why all this moralising 'oh your mum won't be around forever' and 'well she carried you etc' is unhelpful. Nor is it 'taking MSE too far' to suggest that actually, some adults (even adults we dearly love and spent a lot of time looking up to) ought to take responsibility for their spending habits when it's impacting on someone else's life.

omendata

How much do you think she spent over the 20 odd years to bring you up!

If it was my mum and she needed it i would sell my house and give her all the money i have in the bank and she wouldnt have to pay back a penny.

Dont be so greedy and ungrateful!
Disgraceful post and symptomatic of the selfish and greedy society we have now!

Pollycat

omendata wrote: »

How much do you think she spent over the 20 odd years to bring you up!

If it was my mum and she needed it i would sell my house and give her all the money i have in the bank and she wouldnt have to pay back a penny.

Dont be so greedy and ungrateful!
Disgraceful post and symptomatic of the selfish and greedy society we have now!

Which post are you referring to as 'disgraceful'?

Sometimes it's the Mothers who are greedy and ungrateful and selfish.

Pollycat wrote: »

I recall a fairly recent thread where the almost universal opinion of posters was that the OP's Mother was a selfish, manipulative b i t c h.