Help!!

vij

well done you for getting stuck in, starting is the hardest part, dont lose heart. Above all be kind to yourself and think how wonderful it will be when its done

grannybroon

Kayj

Stick in there. Our house worse chaos since DD and DS left. We keep meaning to sort out.

GB xxx

rainbowangel

I would just like to say thanks for you all I am in a similar situation although I'm single and work. When I lived with my partner he did nothing round the house so I didn't bother either.... now that we have broken up I have been left with it all to tidy.... Now I have received the motivation to get it done SO A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL.... Especially Kay Jay x

rainbowangel

By the way Freeads.co.uk is a great place to sell things )

lbt_2

Hi KJ

I always start with the room that bothers me the most. In my case, if the kitchen is messy and cluttered, I feel really stressed (and a bit stroppy to be honest :eek:)

Once I have done the kitchen I feel a lot calmer and don't feel like I need to look at every single part of the room that I am tidying. I can tidy one bit at a time without it seeming like a mountainous task.

Hope this helps

smitty2702

Hi

Just wanted to send some words of encouragement from someone who has been where you are (both the clutter and depression) and is on the way out the other side!. I got to the stage it was all too overwhelming and I felt completely out of control, I escaped at any chance possible and did not enjoy being in my home at all.

heres my advice:

Take it slowly, so you don't burn out and like previously said allow yourself some rewards. Tackle 1 room (or 1 drawer) at a time. Giving yourself a time limit (aka flaylady) can help. I tend to do 15 mins and if im still full of enthusiasm another 15 mins before a break.

try and think about where you are sending stuff, would it be of use to anyone you know, can you ebay it or send to a charity shop rather than bin it. It always gives me more motivation if im getting rid of things that will be a "treasure" to someone else.

Don't try too hard to clean just yet, concentrate on the decluttering and when its clutter free cleaning is SO much quicker. when you get to this stage develop a manageable routine!

Don' blame yourself, walking round thinking "its my fault it got like this, im never going to finish it" think instead of the positive impact it will have on your life when its clutter free (it does!!!)

Don't try and get to showhome standards, my house is still homely, still has toys and bits about, sometimes a few piles of thigns to sort but nothing that would make me cringe if people turned up, if you have kids its not possible to have a showhome!

Get any kids involved, mine are 5 and 3 and from when I took control about 18 months ago I have encouraged them to "help" they put toys away as they use them (well most of them) and they put the lot away before bed as part of our bedtime routine. they will also follow me round with a duster given half a chance.

If you want to chat please feel free to PM me, I just wanted to let you know you are doing great and you CAN do it!!!

Claire
x

kayjay1809

Thanks everyone :beer:

Yesterday me and the OH tackled the living room which is looking loads better, although we've just moved the dustbin sacks into the dining room Just the bookcase to sort out now in there. And buy a new sofa to replace the faulty one we had to send back.

I'm going to start on the study today - this is where I'm supposed to do my crafts etc but I can't even get in!! I've got to make a blind for the bathroom so that's my motivation to get it tidied up.

The OH washed out the kitchen bin as well, which really needed doing - horrible job

smitty2702

Good morning

You sound like you are really doing well, I hope you are super proud of yourself (and OH) this morning!

I am in process of swapping my summer wardrobes to winter ones today.

What crafts do you do? I really would like to try sewing clothes for me and the kids but I need to invest in the machine but £ doesnt allow at the minute so I stick with my scrapbooking / baking!

I hate the kitchen bin job as well, I find if i sprinkle some bicarb in the bottom it doesnt get as bad!!

Claire
x

kayjay1809

I'll try the bicarb, thanks, Claire

I've only got a small sewing machine, think it cost about £80 but it does all the basics I need it to. What do I do? Well as I'm very disorganised in life I have a million and one 'projects' on the go! I have a dollshouse, well two of them plus a beachut; I can make clothes but it's some years since I did; I make curtains and blinds; cross stitch and tapestry; am about to try making some dolls clothes as a prototype thinking about selling them on ebay; and I have some knitting on the go but I'm the world's worst knitter I'd like to get back to making clothes, my OH bought me a tailors dummy some years ago but it only goes up to a size 16 which I'm not at the moment so I keep promising myself as soon as I hit a 16 I'll make something!

Basically around the house I'm pretty idle but I need to get it sorted as the mess is stopping me getting on and enjoying life. I don't work due to health problems so have no excuses other than laziness - I don't think I'm a natural housewife :rotfl:

Peartree

I live alone but seem to be able to mess up my house more than a family of five! Sometimes it is better to ignore the stuff that needs to be disposed of until you can see the wood for the trees. Decluttering can be a huge task and there is always a point in the middle, when it is utterly overwhelming. Small bites are the key.

Start by doing all the washing up and then put it all away where it ought, theoretically to live. Then start at one end of the kitchen worktops and work around, putting everything away as you go. Then do all the washing and ironing and put every item away. (This isn't a one day job, obviously!) It doesn't matter if some things end up in the wrong place, just put it all away somewhere reasonably logical. Once you've done that and managed to have a bit of a clean up you'll feel a lot more in control.

After that, set a long term target and you can take one room at a time. Don't think about reorganising yet, just go through a section of each room at a time. Go through each drawer with a 'chuck away' and a 'give to charity shop' and, maybe, a 'sell' bin bag next to you (sometimes the pressure you need to put yourself under to 'sell' just isn't worth the money and you feel far better from the 'glow' of donating'. What you're keeping, stick back in that drawer or cupboard for the time being. Don't let it get overwhelming and try to get rid of the stuff as you go along (it is much easier to take one bin bag a week to a charity shop than a few car loads at the end). While you're doing it, try really hard not to create any more mess, keep on top of the general tidying and cleaning. Make it a pleasant experience, put nice music on, set short targets and reward yourself as you go - after five drawers have a cup of tea and a biscuit! But be really brutal on the 'getting rid'.

Once you've gone around the whole house and have got rid of everything you don't need reward yourself with a BIG treat - ideally away from the house. Then, spend a bit of time thinking about how you organise your stuff and how it might work better - maybe go somewhere like IKEA to see what the products they have to help organisation. Only when every superfluous item is out of the house should you think about reorganising. Set aside some serious time to do it and accept that it will be a nightmare somewhere in the middle!

Setting realistic targets and rewarding your efforts, I think, is the key. In fact, your starting point might be getting a calendar, setting a deadline (say, I want to be straight by Christmas) and then some interim deadlines.

I know quite a bit about depression. Just putting one foot in front of the other can be challenge enough. If you put yourself under too much pressure with a bit mountain to climb (like sorting out a whole house), you're just setting yourself up for failure. But you can always say 'well I'll just do an hour' or 'I'll just do that corner' and when you've achieved that objective the sense of achievement can spur you on. Structure really helps - there's nothing like ticking something (however small) off a list!