Uni student coming home for holidays

Becles

My eldest is away living in halls at uni, but is coming home over Christmas. Possibly for two weeks but he hasn't decided yet! He asked if I wanted any money off him to cover his food etc.

I'd never really thought about that to be honest! I said I didn't mind him paying nothing but he insists he should pay something.

Do other parents ask for a contribution towards costs and if so, how much do you ask for?

Lily-Rose_3

Becles wrote: »

My eldest is away living in halls at uni, but is coming home over Christmas. Possibly for two weeks but he hasn't decided yet! He asked if I wanted any money off him to cover his food etc.

I'd never really thought about that to be honest! I said I didn't mind him paying nothing but he insists he should pay something.

Do other parents ask for a contribution towards costs and if so, how much do you ask for?

Oh no, definitely not; not just for 2 weeks. We never even charged our daughter when she was home for the 11-12 weeks of summer. Then again, she was away for 35-40% of that time with her friends or her boyfriend. (We still wouldn't have charged her though.)

Up to the individual of course, but I would say no. If he wants to buy a small basket full of food as a contribution then do let him, but I wouldn't be charging for the 2 weeks he is home for Christmas.

pmlindyloo

Becles wrote: »

My eldest is away living in halls at uni, but is coming home over Christmas. Possibly for two weeks but he hasn't decided yet! He asked if I wanted any money off him to cover his food etc.

I'd never really thought about that to be honest! I said I didn't mind him paying nothing but he insists he should pay something.

Do other parents ask for a contribution towards costs and if so, how much do you ask for?

What a lovely son you have. So refreshing to hear of a young man being concerned and financially aware.

I do not know your financial circumstances but obviously how people deal with this will vary. If someone is comfortably off then the answer will be different to someone who is not so well off.

I would accept his offer and ask for a token amount/accept what he offers which you can then use to buy some extras at Christmas.

Perhaps he is now aware of how much things costs and realises that extra food for a grown man for two weeks is not trivial.

I also feel that he wants to be treated as a grown up and as such wants to contribute to the family finances. Recognise this even if it means you decide to make him a 'food'/goodies parcel' on his return to university.

May I borrow him?!

onomatopoeia99

I paid rent if I was working over the holiday. That actually meant most holidays before the final year as I had an office job back home and they would give me work to fit the university vacations.

My parents didn't want rent if I wasn't working as they knew I had no way to pay it. They didn't actually need the money as they both worked full time and dad could get quite a bit of overtime on top at the factory, which he always took when it was available.

balletshoes

Becles wrote: »

My eldest is away living in halls at uni, but is coming home over Christmas. Possibly for two weeks but he hasn't decided yet! He asked if I wanted any money off him to cover his food etc.

I'd never really thought about that to be honest! I said I didn't mind him paying nothing but he insists he should pay something.

Do other parents ask for a contribution towards costs and if so, how much do you ask for?

I think your son sounds very responsible and considerate, and if he's insisting on contributing towards the food bill while he's home you should take it. Do you have any idea how much he spends on food whilst away? If you do, you could ask for a contribution maybe a little less than that - or ask him how much he thinks would be a suitable amount?

indiepanda

If you need the money then I would take it. If you don't, why don't you let him give you money each vacation he is at home and then give him the money when he graduates?

I got into debt to buy smart clothes for work when I left university - my jeans and doc martens weren't going to cut it a smart finance department, suits were expected.

I had to leave home as my job was 150 odd miles from my parents home meaning I was paying rent too. I was lucky that my company had some houses they rented out on a shared basis so I didn't have to pay a massive rent and I think they just took it out of our pay in arrears. Most people would have to find a deposit up front as well as a month's rent, so money towards that might be welcome.

nimbo

My mum never took housekeeping while I was in full time education. Much or he annoyance of my step father. I always offered when I was working though. There were sometimes a few weeks here and there I wasn't working - I went to uni the other end of the country and never managed to get a job they would keep open for me while I was away.

My first Christmas she'd booked days off to do my washing and insisted I took food from the cupboards that she'd bought for me as no one else ate it.

When she discovered I'd done my washing before getting the train home she seemed gutted. Haha I just didn't want my case to explode with my dirty knickers any where. Haha ps. Id been doing my own washing and parts of the household laundry for years before I went.

I personally don't think that if you don't need The money - you should take it - say he can spend it on presents or re-stocking his uni food store. obviously if you're going to be very skint and he has the spare cash then that's different.

It's nice that he's offered. Maybe open the discussion about when you would expect housekeeping - so maybe over summer when you'd expect him to be working or looking for work and if he has it you'd want x amount. Or after uni if he stays with you for a bit then you'd expect an amount.

AylesburyDuck

If the money is not needed, then perhaps say to bring bottles of wine/spirit/cola whichever, to enjoy over the festive period?

Mojisola

Becles wrote: »

My eldest is away living in halls at uni, but is coming home over Christmas. Possibly for two weeks but he hasn't decided yet! He asked if I wanted any money off him to cover his food etc.

Do other parents ask for a contribution towards costs and if so, how much do you ask for?

We didn't take any money but did expect the adult children to share the household work when they came home for holidays.

ska_lover

he sounds a great lad, very considerate. I wouldn't accept it, but if he insisted I would take it and buy him an extra xmas pressie with it

Silvertabby

I was in the Armed Forces, not at uni, but when I went home on leave I would buy at least one big trolley load of shopping. Mum was more than happy with that.