Bridal Party Dilemma

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Sort of feeling a bit regretful today. I feel a little like we may have rushed into deciding who to have as our attendants in our wedding next year.

I am having 3 bridesmaids; my sister, his sister, and my sister-in-law.

My Fiance is having a Best Man. For our Ushers, he's asked 2 mates, and his sister's boyfriend. It was my suggestion and he agreed. I kind of thought, these should all be 'from the Groom's side' but then, I do have his sister as my bridesmaid, so don't really think it matters! I have one brother, and one brother-in-law, who I feel we should have asked.:( Instead, we thought we'd ask them to be witnesses, so they are still a little involved.

This is a relatively small wedding (60-ish) so would 5 ushers, one Best Man, be too many? Especially as I only have 3 Bridesmaids? We are also having 2 flowergirls and a pageboy however, which are my nephew and nieces.

I've also noticed some people have both Ushers and Groomsmen. But it seems like more of an American thing, to have them as separate people.

I'm probably thinking far too much into this but would appreciate any thoughts.:)
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  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,831 Forumite
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    Why do you need more than a best man......

    What would all the others do....... People just mingle at the wedding service nowadays.....
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • Trina90
    Trina90 Posts: 541 Forumite
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    Every wedding I've been to has them. The Best Man stays with the Groom, whereas Ushers greet guests, seat them and hand out the order of services, things like that.
    Mortgage started 2015: £150,000 2016: £130,000 2017: £116,000 2018: £105,000 2019: £88,000 2020: £69,000 2021: £51,195 2023: MORTGAGE FREE!
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
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    It's fine, you've included them and shown they're important to you by having them as witnesses. Don't stress and don't overthink it!
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,929 Forumite
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    I've not been to a wedding where I'm shown where to sit so don't know what am usher looks like. However if you are happy you've picked them and what they are doing, go with that. Grand scheme of things who cares.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • Artytarty
    Artytarty Posts: 2,642 Forumite
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    The ushers at my daughters recent wedding did a great job that the best man really couldn't have done as well as his own duties.
    They handed out orders of service, pointed out cloakrooms,
    Escorted Grannies etc to their seats, marshalled the relevant people to have their photos taken, paid the organist etc and were generally just very helpful.
    They had two ushers for a guest list of 120, another one wouldn't have gone amiss.
    Norn Iron Club member 473
  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,779 Forumite
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    You say "I have one brother, and one brother-in-law" - is the brother in law the brother of your fiance? Or the other half of your sister? If it's the brother of your fiance then maybe he should have been part of the bridal party, but otherwise no. If your fiance is happy with his choices, then don't overthink it. You've chosen who you have, first instinct, best instinct.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
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    74jax wrote: »
    I've not been to a wedding where I'm shown where to sit so don't know what am usher looks like. However if you are happy you've picked them and what they are doing, go with that. Grand scheme of things who cares.

    I'm the opposite. I can't think of a wedding I've attended that didn't have ushers (well apart from one at a registry office with about 6 guests total)
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • arbrighton
    arbrighton Posts: 2,011 Forumite
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    We had around 70 people. My sister was bridesmaid, his brother was best man. They acted as witnesses. That was it. No ushers, no pageboys etc
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,550 Forumite
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    McKneff wrote: »
    Why do you need more than a best man.......

    I had a two best "men" because the main one didn't want to do a speech and the other one (actually a woman) really wanted to do the speech but nothing else.

    It worked rather well.
  • Jojo_the_Tightfisted
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    We've got a Best Man. Haven't got further than that,

    It seems like a lot of people to me, but then again, we don't particularly care where people want to sit.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll :D
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