How to get over a huge crush

Money_saving_maniac

perfumeandglitter wrote: »

I agree, but it is hard not too mention him as I find I notice he does things or doesn't do things and it bugs me.

My husband pays me no attention and really makes no effort with me at all.

I find my crush attractive, but I don't feel he is my type at all personality wise so it is rather strange i like him at all.

Your unmet needs are shouting. It's not about your crush it's about you.
Time to have a heart to heart with your husband and find out if this marriage is going to work or it it's in its death throes.

Be brave. It's going to take some courage.

FBaby

Work on your marriage, or work on getting out of it, don't stay iddle until your crush or the next one does start to give you vibes and you act on it, resulting on an affair, people hurt, and you convincing yourself it's not your fault because your husband gave you no attention.

I expect he is ignoring you because he twicked that you had a crush on him and would take things further and he lost respect for you when he realised. As it is, things are for the best. When you realise this and concentrate on your marriage, your feelings for him will go.

Pollycat

meer53 wrote: »

So you're married ? Stop it now, it won't end well.

^^^^ This

tea_lover wrote: »

How to get over it? Try thinking about your wedding vows.

^^^^ And this

perfumeandglitter wrote: »

My husband pays me no attention and really makes no effort with me at all.

Then do something about this ^^^^

Either talk to your husband and see if there is any chance of saving your marriage or end it.

Then start looking at other blokes.

paddy's_mum

perfumeandglitter wrote: »

There was talk in the office about me and him

Oh I don't talk about him to people at work...I meant my friends outside of work.

You are already on VERY dangerous ground!

If your husband gets to hear any of this 'talk' and applies the no-smoke-without-fire principle, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a petition for divorce based on your unreasonable conduct even though "nothing has happened".

tea_lover

perfumeandglitter wrote: »

I agree, but it is hard not too mention him as I find I notice he does things or doesn't do things and it bugs me.

My husband pays me no attention and really makes no effort with me at all.

I find my crush attractive, but I don't feel he is my type at all personality wise so it is rather strange i like him at all.

Maybe he does but you're too busy noticing what your crush is doing to pay your husband any attention.

There is no excuse for cheating whatsoever. If your current relationship has problems then be a grown up and speak to the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with. That will be a lot more productive than mooning over some guy who's made it very plain that he isn't interested in an affair.

hazyjo

Nothing wrong with a crush. Even fantasising - it doesn't mean you have to act on it.

As for "Work romances are never a good idea" - haha tell that to my lot at work! We now have one female partner in a long term relationship with someone she met at our work (he's now left, they have a daughter together), two male partners married to two lawyers, and another one seeing a lawyer, and various other relationships between lawyers (all at our work still)! I prob don't even know the half of it lol.

Jx

jaydeeuk1

He sounds like a nice bloke. Probably likes you too, but won't have an affair so keeping his distance. Cheating isn't just physical, can be mental too.

hollydays

jaydeeuk1 wrote: »

He sounds like a nice bloke. Probably likes you too, but won't have an affair so keeping his distance. Cheating isn't just physical, can be mental too.

Or he may just have been being civil to the op, nothing more, and she's got the wrong idea.

BJV

Mr.Generous wrote: »

you could always shag him at the Christmas party, usually puts an end to a crush.

Just made me giggle. I have not been to an xmas works night for so many years simply because it always turned out to be the time that sally got it on with fed in the staff room. Gosh I could not go into the loo's for weeks after walking in on bert and who ever!!! ha ha

P.s I met my OH at work 24 years ago so????

Seriously you are married. Get over it!

moneyistooshorttomention

Past experience of men I've had crushes on and there has been "something or other" I've found distinctly offputting about them at some point (usually afterwards - but occasionally at the time).

These things have included:
- lack of hygiene being covered - at all times (I was close enough to tell...). That put me off 2 different men - one of them instantly.

- spotting an entry they had made on the Internet that revealed they had some not-very-nice views about something (ie would have been totally unsuitable for me anyway)

- finding out they hadn't told me the half of it (or indeed - any of it!!) about what their country was like for women. It's an Arabic country....

- same man as above (ie the Arabic one) when he had an inappopriate reaction to an incident in his country he was telling me about (ie he laughed). The appropriate reaction to that incident is shock and horror - not laughing

Overall message - there is a good chance that he has one or more things about him that (if you knew them) you would find very offputting and your "head" would kick in and overtake your "heart" as to what to think/feel about him. There's probably something or other that would have that effect - if you can find out about it.:cool: