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Free xmas meals and gifts for pensioners

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  • seven-day-weekend
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    scotsbob wrote: »
    OK, so here's the thing, all your life you have been badgered every Xmas to donate for the OAPs Xmas party. Now you are a pensioner it's your turn to enjoy the benefits.


    So here's what to do, get a relative (or pose as one) to contact all the groups in your area telling them how you live alone, have done your bit for the community over the years and will be alone at Xmas. Make sure to stress that you have difficulty getting about and will need a lift.


    Here is an idea of who to contact, the Round Table, Rotarians, local churches, Conservative Club, Masonic Lodges, secondary schools, Scout groups etc etc.


    You will get transport, a decent meal and nine times out of ten a gift thrown in and then a lift home. The food will be top quality because the women who get involved in these things compete to donate the best stuff so it is all M and S and Waitrose with decent home made stuff thrown in.


    Incidentally you don't need to be exactly a pensioner, if you are likely to be one during the next year, or so, that will be good enough. The organisers don't expect you to turn up with a passport and a gas bill.


    I know what you are thinking. There must be a catch. Correct, there is. BUT I will tell you how to avoid it. The catch is they want to provide Xmas "entertainment." This will involve some primary school kids playing "Little Donkey" on a recorder and then singing a load of Xmas Carols including all 16 verses of "Once In Royal David's City."


    As soon as it looks as though they are going to start the entertainment nonsense, beckon one of the helpers and tell them you forgot to bring your medication and need to be taken home. Don't feel embarrassed about saying this or feel you are imposing. You see after the meal the volunteers are expected to do some washing up. Now given a choice between scraping pots or running you home what do you thing the volunteer prefers? Exactly. Get the timing right and you can body swerve all the singing stuff.


    Plan things carefully and you won't need to buy yourself much food next month and you will get a decent stock of gifts as well.


    A couple of final tips. If you are the relative phoning on your behalf avoid using the personal pronoun. eg it's not "I will need a lift," it's (s)he will need a lift. Avoid anything run by the council, it will be done on a budget with tinned food. Also when the gifts are dished out, it's a good time to apologise on behalf of your elderly neighbour who couldn't come because they are in hospital.


    This is the best Xmas moneysaving tip you will get here so start organising now because the Xmas lunch season will start at the end of November.


    Remember this is your entitlement, you are now a pensioner and no doubt your parents are no longer living so you are technically an orphan as well, double sympathy.

    Hey! I am doing Christmas dinner for my mum (87), my friend (81), my husband (67) and myself (66) as well as our son (36) and his partner (29).

    Shall I get son and partner to ring up about us? If they each took responsibility for two of us, could they get a free meal too?
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • scotsbob
    scotsbob Posts: 4,632 Forumite
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    Shall I get son and partner to ring up about us? If they each took responsibility for two of us, could they get a free meal too?


    Yes to first question. Don't know to second question.
  • Biggles
    Biggles Posts: 8,209 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
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    Hey! I am doing Christmas dinner for my mum (87), my friend (81), my husband (67) and myself (66) as well as our son (36) and his partner (29).

    Shall I get son and partner to ring up about us? If they each took responsibility for two of us, could they get a free meal too?
    I think the correct technique would be for them to turn up in the guise of carers, get you all settled in and to not ask for a meal for themselves

    When first offered one, they should look surprised and grateful. And pull up their chairs. If not offered one immediately, they should say, 'Mmm, that looks nice', or similar.
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