funeral dress

iammumtoone

JuneBow wrote: »

I had never thought of wearing trousers with it. Brilliant idea!

What length is it? in the picture it looks just above the knee, maybe thick black tights might be more suitable for that length. If its mid thigh length then I would go with the trousers.

getmore4less

if you are that close why not ask her.

iammumtoone

getmore4less wrote: »

if you are that close why not ask her.

I assume it is because they have just lost their husband and the OP does not want to bother them with 'trivial' questions.

melanzana

I have a funeral outfit.

Black tailored trousers (female), polished shoes/ankle boots, a nice top and a black coat if necessary.

I also have a black dress that I team up with a brighter jacket type thing.

I have these outfits because the contemporaries of my mother are going now. And some younger people too, has to be said.

The dress in the OP will be fine if teamed with dark tights and maybe a jacket too.

It is all about respect, and just look at the way OP is concerned about that kind of thing.

I think that is great.

paddy's_mum

melanzana wrote: »

It is all about respect, and just look at the way OP is concerned about that kind of thing.

I think that is great.

So do I!

I went to a funeral earlier this year and was quietly horrified that two young female relatives of the suddenly deceased wore low cut cropped tops and tight leggings with plenty of bosom and plump rump on display and shoes that wouldn't disgrace a Turkish brothel dancer.

They no doubt felt they were being fashionable and fetching but it was, frankly, disrespectful and far from attractive. The very elderly father of the deceased was embarrassed and found it offensive and I was upset that his last memory of his son would be these two thonged twits wiggling their wherewithal around the place.

Time and place, as always.

warby68

Its a lovely dress and although short, is very modest at the other end so as long as it finishes knee to mid- thigh rather than mid-thigh to bum, it should be OK.

I think I'd go for thickish tights, smart shoes and perhaps a pashmina/shawl type wrap if you haven't got a full coat - funerals are always cold and it will be November . That can easily be discarded if you have duties to attend to later. Personally, I think its a little dressy for over trousers.

PS you sound like a lovely friend too (practical help is invaluable) and I very much doubt you could show her up if you tried.

SevenOfNine

Personally, & different generation most likely as well, I wouldn't wear anything I'd wear to a Christmas party & if I had the legs for something short, I'd wear that!

If you have to ask if it's suitable then you already have doubts, personally I'd probably so no a lacy cocktail dress isn't really appropriate, but I've seen much worse so if you're sure you'll feel comfortable in it then wear it.

After all, it's about showing love, respect & support for the grieving family & the deceased, not a fashion parade. At the end of the day that's all that matters & it's a lovely dress.

JuneBow

getmore4less wrote: »

if you are that close why not ask her.

I don't really want to bother her with that as she has just lost her husband. Since, and because of his death it has emerged that there was a lot that she didn't know, so she is doubly distraught.
I think I may have to give it a swerve as I am very concerned about the "short" comments, and it is not worth giving any cause or hint of offence or upset. The comment that if I have to ask, then it is unsuitable is spot on! She is probably more concerned that she would otherwise be about appearances as not many know details of the circumstances at the moment and she is hoping to keep it that way.
There is quite a posh charity shop round the corner so I will probably be able to pick up something safer there, failing which it may have be a new one. We don't know when the funeral is the moment as the death is being treated as suspicious so I have got time.
The point about wearing the dress again is a good one. Whilst I don't think I would have a problem with wearing it again, if she saw it again it may cause upset.
I have two of her kids staying with me at the minute so will find out later if there are to be any special requests in terms of dress. ie no black etc. But I doubt it. She seems to want ordinary, ordinary, ordinary.
Many thanks for the helpful replies.

getmore4less

I was thinking using a subtle ask not a turn up with it on hanger, if it is good enough for the funeral it would be good enough to wear for one of you daily activities dealing with and helping her.

Yorkshireman99

paddy's_mum wrote: »

So do I!

I went to a funeral earlier this year and was quietly horrified that two young female relatives of the suddenly deceased wore low cut cropped tops and tight leggings with plenty of bosom and plump rump on display and shoes that wouldn't disgrace a Turkish brothel dancer.

They no doubt felt they were being fashionable and fetching but it was, frankly, disrespectful and far from attractive. The very elderly father of the deceased was embarrassed and found it offensive and I was upset that his last memory of his son would be these two thonged twits wiggling their wherewithal around the place.

Time and place, as always.

Speaking as a mere man I have refrained from comment so far. However you paint a very vivid picture of what not to wear to a funeral! My only comment would be to be understated and simple with a minimum of visible flesh.