The Simple Bare Necessities feat. Gratitude & Recipes

beanielou

Please keep your diary.
Please & thank you.

Greying_Pilgrim

WannabeFree wrote: »

I'm sure there is many who read along on the sidelines that agree your diary is helpful to many even if you don't see why or how
Honestly it does.

WannabeFree - thank you. I do struggle to see how or why my witterings help anyone. Particularly MSE'rs or casual readers who are in vastly differing circumstances to my own - fighting real battles with debt, authority or life in general, you know? Not only is being a wife and a mother a priveledge, but my whole life is a priveledge. I have 2 arms, 2 legs, my health, a roof over my head - where does that seat me in the wealth of the world? Pretty high up, I would imagine. even if I don't count Mrgates, mrBranstone nor mrMUSk amongst my neighbours........ I'm trying to live a rich life on a less than average household income - I'm happy with my lot in life, but I don't think that I'm demonstrating that a 'rich life on the cheap' can be achieved. As much as anything, I know that I am happy with waaayyyyy less 'stuff' than a large proportion of the population.

apple_muncher wrote: »

My dd reached double digits earlier this year, and I am having a 'significant' number bday soon (think it might be the same as pippi; but it sure aint 40!).

Until having dd, I probably defined myself by my job, and was glad (and super duper fortunate) to be able to return to it for 2 days per week. (No way could I have stayed at home all the time!) However, since having dd, I am dd's mummy. Full stop. Priorities change. Views, goals change. Stuff goes on hold. And it is only on hold, it is not cancelled, but will/may happen at a later time. And if it doesn't happen at all, then that is because I have decided it aint worth it. And putting stuff on hold, changing direction is totally worth it. We waited a lonnnng time ourselves for dd and there's nowt more precious than her.

You just make sure you carry on enjoying BG and being BG's mummy to the full. You are doing a great job, missus. xx

Thank you apple. I think I'm being brutally honest (with myself) when I say that I've never really defined myself by... a job, where I live, where I holiday (or any other 'relevant' benchmark in a consumer culture), and I have one friend who seriously is 'wedded' to their work, so I know what it looks like - and I'm pretty sure I'm a little more relaxed than that. I think what I'm struggling with is not change itself - I'm not against change, and I'd worked out in my mind that becoming a mother would involve significant changes, so I'm cool with that - but an absence of......... the next step?

Maybe I am being too impatient (which would be so like me! ), but at the moment I'm shedding many things, items, labels, 'cloaks' - a real mix of the physical, the mental and emotional - but to what? to where? If I was clearing out my house, loft, lock-up, garage, garden shed and bank account to up sticks and start a new life (with my family) as a............... holiday camp entertainer in the North Pole, then the 'divesting' would make sense. I would be living somewhere different, would need different clothing types, shipping furniture that far wouldn't make sense etc etc.

But I'm not.

I think that is why I'm struggling. And why I'm not necessarily seeing how a diary is helping at the minute, as we just can't - for one reason or another - make do & mend, grow our own, turn the heating off and shove an extra jumper on etc etc etc that are the lynchpins of leading a lower cost life.

beanie - as ever, thank you

greenbee - 'free' gin - you may just have hit the pinnacle of work 'perks' :rotfl:

Greying X

beanielou

I cant explain why your diary enriches MSE.
The simple fact is that is does.
Just by you being you.

MatyMoo

Eeeeek, in no way did I mean you weren't grateful for BG! My badly worded message didn't mean that at al!

One way in which your diary is vital is so that people can see that even after they have got through the really horrible days of debt problems, even when it has been fully paid, you still need to budget, you still need to make choices about spending your money wisely. How many people on here have returned in the same mess they were in before?

Greying_Pilgrim

MatyMoo wrote: »

Eeeeek, in no way did I mean you weren't grateful for BG! My badly worded message didn't mean that at al!

Sorry love, I didn't read that into your response, I meant it more as a general statement. Having come from a background of thinking we were going to be childless, to suddenly get this blessing of a child, makes gratefulness for where I'm at - having BG in our lives - at the forefront of my mind. I appreciate and understand that not everyone wants to be a parent and I respect their viewpoint and choice. As someone who wanted children, but thought they couldn't have them, I did feel as though something was missing in my life. But just got on with it.

And then BG happened.

I try to be balanced in my terminology when talking about life with a child now. I believe that our lives are so much richer with BG, and only report it in a practical sense the limitations to doing x,y or z with a child to look after - just because it isn't practical to eg climb a ladder and leave the child at the bottom. Or take the child up the ladder with you..........

Greying X

redofromstart

GP, have to say that your diaries are one of the major reasons why I have one myself. I lurked from my main account for years. I like reading about your recipes and the associated inventiveness, your gratitudes and hearing about the progress of BG and the changes you are making. Diaries like yours made me feel that what I wanted was possible and that it didn't have to be hairy shirt and water soup for tea.

I get your point, and on the same basis should probably stop mine now the debt has gone, but I think it keeps me focused and on the straight and narrow. I do hope you choose to take us on the next step of your adventures,

Fortune_Smiles

This guy says it so much better than I could:

"Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are."

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

I know, I know - a bit deep and meaningful for me. But I would very much miss your conscious Presence on this forum Greying. We are all here for different reasons and if 'finding your way' is your diary's current purpose I'm sure there are many of us who would benefit from sharing your journey.

Fortune x

Busy_Mee1

I hope you do continue with your diary GP, it is one of my favourites. Your life is so different to mine and takes me back to when my "babies" were toddling and looking and pointing. It is lovely to read and you are so generous in sharing your life and thoughts with the rest of us.

I think that is the real gift of this community (DFW and MFW), the generosity of the people here, who share their lives and the things that they learn.

I can honestly say I learn something most days from reading these diaries, whether it be a new recipe, how to use less plastic or a million other things...

poppy811

Good morning
I am another who always reads you diary but have never commented. Your attitude is so refreshing I do hope you will continue to post.
Would it be possible to engineer a little 'me time' occasionally by joining a Mum and Toddler group or similar? That way you could perhaps swap minding duties with another Mum. Perhaps you already do this so ignore me if that is the case. How long until BG gets some free nursery care? Once this happens you get a little bit of your own identity back and the little ones enjoy the socialising. Please keep posting you would be greatly missed

Cheery_Daff

Now then GP, I do hope you're alright lass, you sounded a little forlorn in your last post xxx

I've been reading and pondering for the last few days and wanted to say a few things.

First of all, I read this today

http://www.frugalwoods.com/2018/04/30/i-look-like-somebodys-mom-probably-because-i-am-and-im-ok-with-that/

It's the most recent Frugalwoods post (do you read her blog?) and it's all about how she's struggling a bit with two small children, and is trying to 'lean into the phase of life' she's in - acknowledging things will change sooner or later, but for now, embracing 'just' being a mother to littlies. Made me think of you, and of everyone I know with small children who is exhausted

Secondly, while we all LOVE your diary (else we wouldn't be reading it!), it is for YOU. If you don't want to write it, then don't. We will be sad, but we will understand, I promise However (and this is an important however) - don't ever feel like you SHOULDN'T write it, because you're not in £xx amount of debt, or not saving for your retirement at a rate of knots, or whatever. Where would we be if MSE was only full of disaster stories? It takes many stories to make a book (or a website )

Why not have a think about why you do hang round here? Do you regularly read other people's diaries? What do you get out of them? It really is ok to be here just for the comradeship of trying to be a bit more frugal, you know I'm not in debt right now, supposedly trying to pay the mortgage off but not exactly throwing all my efforts into it. Nobody's suggested I leave.

But, again, if writing is taking up too much time that you want to spend elsewhere, then just let it go (although do pop in and say goodbye if you can bear to else we'll worry!)

Have a hug anyway (((((((((((()))))))))))))))))) xx