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It has to stop

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  • Thank you am feeling utterly sick right now. Couldn't sleep this morning so got up early which was a huge mistake as got a night shift tonight so no more sleep until tomorrow morning
    Oct 2016 current unsecured debt £14461.31
  • EssexHebridean
    EssexHebridean Posts: 24,421 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    At least you should now have the complete picture, which as you know is what you need to really be able to get things sorted out.

    All accounts up to date and no missed payments is good, at least. Once you have all the figures get that SOA done, I suspect that long term your OH may have to find further additional work he can take on and then fit his self-employed business around that. He also, in my opinion, has to accept that either he pays the Sky subscription, or it goes. If you aren't bothered about having it, but he is, then that's a no brainer I would say.
    🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
    Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
    Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
    £100k barrier broken 1/4/25
    SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculator
    she/her
  • chevalier
    chevalier Posts: 7,937 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    The thing you will BOTH have to understand is that there are NO sacred cows. If that means SKY has to go then it has to go. If that means that you only get your hair cut 3 times a year not every month, then that is what it takes. All the toiletries get used up before more are bought, no matter how icky the smell of them. Likewise everything that hasn't been used for 12 months - no matter what gets sold if it can be. So if he has a beloved bike or some other thing that he hasn't used, then it goes. It isn't just about what he wants to keep.....
    good luck
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
  • fru-girl
    fru-girl Posts: 133 Forumite
    Best of luck worried! Make that call, it's important. And please rest as soon as you can, not sleeping doubles the weight of our worries x
  • 2 night shifts now completed. So no spend day on Sunday and Monday. Today popped into Lidl to pick up supplies of stuff we were running out of. Spent £15 - got loads. My £79 weekly shop I bought last week from Lidl is still going so only had to top up. I would usually spend easily £80 a week in Tesco and still run out of stuff.
    I should now have enough to avoid going shopping for at least a week. So far that's a massive saving just by spending the extra time and effort.

    Day off tomorrow and hubby finishes at 1pm so going to make the call to stepchange then.

    I've also had a chat with all my friends and we've agreed that we won't buy for each other's kids this year - they all get far to much anyway. This saves me between £10-£15 per child x 6. So much better. I have bought most of the kids presents and my nieces already so only a few small gifts to get.

    I can do this
    Oct 2016 current unsecured debt £14461.31
  • So. Time ran out between hubby getting home from his part time job and needing to go back out to do his sports coaching job so the call to stepchange didn't get made today ��
    However he did have an email from a headhunter about a job back in the industry he left last year (financial services) - he left a year ago as he'd been self employed as a financial advisor but the company had sold him a dream and all they did was fail to deliver so he left and started a sports coaching business (which is his true passion)

    So dilemma carry on doing what he loves for minimal money hoping that it picks up or consider going back full time to a well paid job with company car doing a job he dislikes???

    If he did the job then the debt would not be an issue as he could then take over the household bills leaving my wages to clear debt.

    Anyway. Back to today. Had aimed for a no spend day today but had to pay for 2 school trips for youngest which cost £25.

    Also ordered 3 Christmas presents for the boys but technically didn't cost me anything as had money in account from selling some Lego. The Lego was actually bought by my parents and kept at their house for them to play with when there but they've kinda grown out of it now.

    My parents bless them knowing our situation said we could have the Lego to sell and keep money to use for Christmas.
    This means that pretty much now I have all of the boys Christmas presents. Just need to get a few little things for stockings.

    Hubby and I have agreed a token gift only. We usually spend a lot on each other so have agreed this year 1 gift only

    Hopefully will have chance to contact stepchange tomorrow
    Oct 2016 current unsecured debt £14461.31
  • -taff
    -taff Posts: 15,332 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Take the job for now, do the coaching at weekends.
    Non me fac calcitrare tuum culi
  • -taff wrote: »
    Take the job for now, do the coaching at weekends.

    He does volunteer coaching at weekends as runs a youth football team. His business is centred around schools so obviously weekdays only.

    Will have to see if this job goes any further
    Oct 2016 current unsecured debt £14461.31
  • Not updated for a few days but not much to say. Spend has been fairly minimal last few days although I did have to pop to supermarket yesterday as we had been invited to s friends bonfire party so bought some food to take with us plus my eldest needed ingredients for his cooking lesson tomorrow.
    I ordered some birthday presents for my eldest today but used money sat in PP account from
    Some EB sales so that was good.

    Tomorrow I do need to get petrol and weekly food shop but I've made a list and will stick to it. Have also got Tesco vouchers which I can use on the stuff I need to get from there.

    Hubby still not made call to stepchange. However he has also now had a call
    From a job he went for a while ago and didn't get the job but they've now asked him the go see them as they have vacancy. Would be a full time role though so not sure how it would fit with his business
    Oct 2016 current unsecured debt £14461.31
  • EssexHebridean
    EssexHebridean Posts: 24,421 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    It's a quandary on the job front. I think you both need to sit down and think hard about whether his current business is viable in the long term - and if it is, how long it will take to get to the point of real viability. If he absolutely hates the industry he left, and working in that sort of role was having a negative effect on his mental health, that would potentially give a different answer to a situation in which he doesn't get wildly enthused about it, it's "just a job", but he doesn't actually find it makes him unhappy. I'm inclined to think though that several options surfacing in a short space of time like that ought to tell you something!

    Taff made a good point on the "striking a balance" front - can he accept that his 5 day a week 9 to 5 may not be that inspiring, but the stuff he does at weekends does, and that's a compromise he can live with.
    🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
    Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
    Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
    £100k barrier broken 1/4/25
    SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculator
    she/her
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