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Help Needed On Avoiding Care Fees
in Over 50s MoneySaving
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I think an apology is owed by some posters to care home workers. I know there are very rare incidences of bad practice (so rare that they make the News), but in general they are a lovely, hard-working and genuinely caring profession. And I don't us the word profession lightly. It takes an awful lot of skill and dedication to do what they do.
Same goes for home carers, by the way. The ones my parents had all loved their job, and their clients loved them.
My MIL is in a lovely home of her own choosing and the staff are fantastic. Scare stories in the media don't tell the whole story. She has her own en-suite room as does everyone else.
I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
Let me make it clear. I wouldn't care if I never saw a penny of "inheritance" as long as my mum was alive and well looked after.
I have spoken to about this on numerous occasions to try to allay her fears. It does not work. She feels, and I agree, that she and my father worked all of their lives, paid taxes throughout and claimed nothing ever from the state. And she is terrified of losing what she has. It is becoming her main topic of conversation and is upsetting for all.
As to looking after her myself, I have no qualms about looking after my mother , I lov her to bits.
Not looking to rip anyone off here but that's the way my question appears to have been taken by some. Not what I expected from this site.
there is a need to remain vigilant and not be complacent.
Like everything in life, there's good and not so good. The good should not need comment as it should be standard. The not so good needs highlighting so improvements are made.
All the reports published this year by the various agencies and committees are very clear that older people are being failed.
There is no doubt a minefield of opinions on this subject but as far as I see it, It's her right to decide what she does with her assets. when we deprive people of the right to choice we start on the road to poor practice.
Thank you errata for your "Guardian" article - exactly what I am concerned about. Obviously we are all aware that some old peoples homes do have reasonable standards - and I have come across such myself. Equally obviously, I trust we are all aware that there are "the others" - and I have personally heard of these too (I can recall someone saying to me that she had found that the person she was visiting in one didnt get enough to eat and their clothes seemed to be "disappearing" and being very upset by this). Sweden's way of dealing with things is very much to be commended - and its long past time it was emulated here. Now what was that phrase about getting the measure of how civilised a society is by how it treats its old people? How true.
Liked osmonddiva's last comment here!
Another thought here is the mention earlier of an adult child still living at home - I have been and am aware of several people living in a parents home well into adulthood, and obviously (for whatever reason) these "children" are never going to buy a place of their own. I have seen various reasons for this - and now of course one must add current houseprice levels - but one thing all these adult "children" stay-at-homers I have seen have in common is that they are providing a high level of care for their elderly parents. A fine thank you it would represent from the State if it chucked them out on into Council accommodation (or worse) in order to sell their home over their head to cover the parents carehome fees.
There is a thread elsewhere on this forum about putting 1p (in the £) on income tax to fund care for the elderly. This might or might not be the way to go, but in the meantime I still fail to see why an inheritance of personally unearned money should be allowed, either at the expense of the taxpayer or to the detriment of an elderly or sick person, to determine how a person who no longer needs their own home to dispose of it.
If mum is upset at the prospect of paying for her old age out of her own finances, she needs reassuring that no inheritance is expected, not coercing into trying to dodge around the system.
My mother has a herditary diesese that will not kill her but ensure that she will become totally dependant before she dies.
My brother's and I have already accepted that the house will be sold and any savings my mother has will be spent on her care. It is her money, not ours and therefore she can spent it as she sees fit.
Plato Make £2018 in 2018 no. 37 - total = £1626.25/£2018 :j
Sometimes as we get older we get bees stuck in our bonnets about things and worry unecessarily. Your mum sounds like she's got a bit stuck at the moment and perhaps hasn't thought of all the alternatives to a place in a care home. Would it be worthwhile sitting down quietly with her and explaining all the options? You might find it useful to point out that it's actually quite rare for an older person to need residential care, and that current thinking is to enable people to continue to live in their own homes surrounded by everything that's familiar, through an intensive package of care. The reason this is happening is because research shows that people fare better in their own homes than in a care home and also live a lot longer.
It could be the fact that your mum doesn't really know what would be available to her in her own home when, and if, she needs it is making her think the only solution is a care home. Hope this helps.
Ceridwen - you're right, there are good ones. My mum was in a council home and it was excellent. My SIL is attached to a £1000 pw home, and it's superb. The problem it seems is that generally the public expect 'the governement' to provide, but the public will be very loathe to fund it though increased taxation.