Aspie and relationships

Kimberley

Does anyone here have Asperges Syndrome and in a relationship who could give me an insight into how to understand how their mind works? I'm currently seeing someone who has Asperges and want to know as much as possible from someone else who has it rather then just reading about it online.

adea

I don't have Aspergers but I know people who do. No two people who have Aspergers are the same, the best way to know more, in my opinion, would be to talk to the person.

iammumtoone

ask them

I don't want to sound rude as I am sure you are asking for genuine reasons in that you want understand them better. But if I were them (Aspergers or not) I wouldn't be very impressed that someone was trying to find out about me by asking other people! or researching on the internet! they will know all about their condition and how if effects them.

Good luck to you both in you new relationship.

baby_lemonade

Are we talking about someone who has been diagnosed as having Aspergers Syndrome?

consumers_revenge

Son has mild apergers.


From what I've learned through him and online he doesn't pick up on things very well. Never knows when someones he interacting with is no longer interested in something they are saying. Also shows have little natural sympathy/empathy. However they learn how they are supposed to react in a sympathetic situation. Sometimes you can literally see wheels turning in his head trying to process information and he also tends to get very focused on something and will bang on about it pretty much non stop. Everything tends to be negative when he talks about himself and full of self woe and doesn't have that much faith in his own abilities even though hes very good at some things, better than me in fact. Also quite close minded not liking to try anything new very often.


Having said the above hes a very loving child, very quick-witted and can be very good company.


CR

duchy

My adult son has Aspergers, typical traits is they are loyal, they don't lie and have a wicked if quirky sense of humour. They don't do well with confrontation or any kind of game playing and don't always get social cues so misunderstandings can occur. If an aspie goes cold on you they often don't realize they have so don't assume but ask them what is going on.
P

duchy

baby_lemonade wrote: »

Are we talking about someone who has been diagnosed as having Aspergers Syndrome?

Does it matter?
If Aspergers traits are present they are present......a doctor writing it down doesn't change them.

duchy

iammumtoone wrote: »

ask them

I don't want to sound rude as I am sure you are asking for genuine reasons in that you want understand them better. But if I were them (Aspergers or not) I wouldn't be very impressed that someone was trying to find out about me by asking other people! or researching on the internet! they will know all about their condition and how if effects them.

Good luck to you both in you new relationship.

Actually as the parent of an adult with Aspergers and probably a leaning that way myself I applaude the OP for asking others. Often people with Aspergers struggle to appreciate which of their traits and why affect their relationships with others and wouldn't be able to express or fully appreciate the impact so especially if they are quite inexperienced in relationships (quite likely as Aspergers has only been recognised in the last 25-30 years) asking others is a useful and very thoughtful thing to do.

fishybusiness

My partner and step daughter are Aspie's

Makes for an interesting and thoughtful life.

What do you need to know?

Edit: both are diagnosed.....

PasturesNew

I have it, but I can't 'help' as I'm single. Pretty much always been single.

Can't tell if somebody likes me; offends people that I don't like that I think might be hitting on me (getting too close) ... and I'm just "oddly rude" and use words that others find offensive (when I've no idea).

Don't be wishy washy. Ask direct, specific questions.
Not "where shall we go today?" but "Shall we go to A or B?"

Don't be annoyed when things have to be done in a particular way "because they just have to"

consumers_revenge

I just tends to give my son a bit more leeway on something's as you can see a challenged look sometimes. You have to be direct as we'll sometimes and they don't usually understand sarcasm.

But wouldn't swap him.