Vasectomy - Follow up

itsanne

gabriel1980 wrote: »

She's always been upfront about not wanting children and, to be honest, I never really considered it. I wasn't adamantly against children, I didn't have a feeling either way. I guess the decision was "out of my hands" if that makes sense, I didn't have to make any sort of decision as kids just weren't going to happen. Now I'm making a firm decision to never have children.


I can't see myself with children, I've never had the urge to have children. I don't want the responsibility or the hassle. All money I make I want to spend on myself or my partner.

What other people say is irrelevant. They shouldn't be interfering in the first place. However, from the above, especially the first paragraph, it looks as if there's still a small element of doubt about whether you might want children at some point. As vasectomy should really be viewed as permanent, perhaps you'd be better to wait a while yet.

As far as the procedure itself is concerned, it's very straightforward and nothing to worry about. (OH had it years ago.)

FBaby

Vasectomies are very straight forward and an easy procedure AND funded by the NHS. Female sterilisation is an intrusive intervention with risks and is NOT normally funded by the NHS.

Are old are you OP and your fiancee? Just realised that your username might be a clue!!

sheramber

Female sterilisation is available on the NHS and is not a major procedure

It is done by keyhole surgery and normally a day case in hospital.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/female-sterilisation.aspx

gabriel1980

I'm nearly 36 and my fianc!e is nearly 32

lika_86

sheramber wrote: »

Female sterilisation is available on the NHS and is not a major procedure

It is done by keyhole surgery and normally a day case in hospital.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/female-sterilisation.aspx

It might be available, but it's not easy to get as a healthy young woman of child-bearing age - Holly Brockwell recently won a four year fight to be sterilised on the NHS.

FBaby

sheramber wrote: »

Female sterilisation is available on the NHS and is not a major procedure

It is done by keyhole surgery and normally a day case in hospital.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/female-sterilisation.aspx

You will find that in most parts of the country, female sterilisation falls under a Low Priority Procedure and are only funded in cases where women can show they they suffer from severe side effects to LARC or pregnancy would cause a severe risk to their health.

There is still a higher chance of failure (ie pregnancy) with female sterilisation than male and even though it's standard procedure, it is still much more intrusive and a medical risk than a vasectomy that requires only a local anesthetic and last a few minutes.

FBaby

I'm nearly 36 and my fianc!e is nearly 32

That's quite young then. Have you both have counselling? You certainly should be having it as part of the treatment before the procedure.

There have been so heartbreaking cases when men have regretted their decisions. I myself dated a man shortly who had a vasectomy after he and is then wife agreed not to have children ever. She then fell suddenly ill and died within a few months. He thought he would never fall in love again, but it happened. His partner was younger and desperately wanted children and at this point, he realised that so did he. They paid for him to have a reversal but it didn't work, so they then saved to pay to have ICSI after sperm retrieval, which was really costly and the procedure itself very unpleasant, but despite the success of the retrieval, she didn't fall pregnant after three attempts. It left them in debts and the stress of it became too much. She left him and was pregnant within a few years, but in the end, it was the stress of it all that took them apart from each other. It was a heartbreaking story.

I personally would say that you are both too young to make such a decision when there are safe methods to avoid pregnancy but then again, if you are both absolutely convinced that you would never want children no matter what happened in your life, then you might as well take the stress away from the worry of a pregnancy.

SingleSue

Although we had both decided we didn't want anymore children, I was the one who thought it better if I was sterilised instead of the now ex, mainly because I knew I didn't want anymore but if something had happened to me, a future partner of his may want to have children and to keep that option open (plus with his health complications and general I'm dying reaction to even the mildest of colds, it was less stress!)

Turned out we didn't really need the sterilisation in the end, I had a full hysterectomy less than 18 months later.

Mine was done on the NHS, I was 30 (29 when put on the waiting list) but because we had 2 children with disabilities (plus one other without), it was passed as ok.

clairec79

If you are not 150% sure that YOU will never want any (more) children then IMHO you shouldn't get sterilised (this 150% sure should include situations like your partner getting hit by a bus and you meeting someone else)

I'm about 97% sure I don't want any more children (I already have some) but when I was offered sterilisation (on the NHS - and they would have done it 2 days later, which IMHO is not long enough for me to have been offered (I didn't bring it up) and considered it fully) I said no because there is that tiny doubt and I'm not ready to make that final decision of not ever, even though I think I'm done

Happier_Me

Hi OP

My husband had the op a few years ago, after our last pregnancy was ectopic (I got pregnant whilst on the coil). We knew we didn't want any more kids and the whole experience terrified him so much he had booked himself in before I was released from hospital.

It was a straight forward procedure and he recovered quickly. You really don't need to worry about the procedure, but you do need to rest up for a couple of days afterwards.

In terms of whether this is the right decision for you. I can say that it is great not having to worry about birth control (and related near death experiences!), it's very liberating. But on the other hand, I would ask yourself this - if the worst came to the worst and your relationship were to end (hypothetically of course) could you be swayed into having children with a new partner? If the answer is possibly, then I would delay.

We feel that strongly about no more children that if we were to separate (I can't imagine this would ever happen) this would be a deal breaker for any new relationship for the both us!