Am I being unreasonable?

gerturdeanna

My husband works for a food store, has done for 4 years. When I first got the application for him, the job seemed great. It's base was in a block of offices and so there were no weekends and the store shut at 6pm on weekdays. The shop has now moved to a new branch that is open 7 days a week, 10pm most weekdays and 12am fir and sat. He was made assistant manager within 6 minths, so I do understand that he has more responibilities etc etc. Last night he worked until 12am, today is his day off. This morning he got up at 6am and went to work!! !!!!!!!!! Its your day off luv!! He said he needs to sort some stuff out in the old shop and he'll be back at 11ish. OK Fine, but I've got plans that start at 9:30!!! I wouldn't mind so much if this was the first time, but its not!! This week he has not had a day off. Dyas off were Monday and Tuesday and both days he was in there for at least 2 hours. That does not constitute as a day off. He is contracted to work 40hours per week and gets paid for 40 hours per week, no more. If he was getting paid overtime, then fine but he's not!!
I don't understand it at all!! It seems to me like he wants to spend time at work instead of here with his family(me and 2 children). He was due a bonus of 150 pounds from Xmas last year. He's still not had it yet won't complain!!! I didn't realise I'd married such a weak man!!!

Am I being unreasonable by getting very annoyed with him??!?!?!
It's got so bad that I might as well be a single mum, cos that's what it feels like!!

Keeping_Positive

I do think working on days off with out pay is a bit much. Is he being pressured at work by the manager/ bosses? Unless he thinks he may lose the job then I think you a being reasonable.

gerturdeanna

He's been working extra for months, yet last week they had a managers meeting and his boss said he wasn't committed and didn't put the time in!!! !!!!!!!!! They both need a kick up the !!!!!!!

conradmum

I think the workload they're giving him is unreasonable if he has to go in on his day off. It's very, very easy to feel obligated to your workplace but at the end of the day you need to know where to draw the line. It's just a job, he isn't Richard Branson or anything.
The problem is that once you start doing all the extra work people just take it for granted (and your bosses usually take the credit, in my experience!). Maybe, now that he has management experience, he could look around for something else, and then not make the mistake of bending over backwards for them.
I don't think you're unreasonable to be upset about him not being able to take a whole day off.

divadee

i can sympathise with you about this, but im afraid this is retail.

Mr divadee has worked in retail for over 20 years and once you are managment level they expect your 'committment' and put the extra hours in etc....

Mr divadee will sometimes do 50 hour weeks for no extra money only his 39 hours pay.

They had a store meeting last sunday night to show them new ranges etc... and even though it was divadee's night off he had to go in for 5 hours and sit through the presentation with no time off in lieu or extra money.

Sorry I couldnt be more help, but this is the pressure of retail these days. I know where your coming from though, and many an argument has happened because he has to put in the 'committment' and i think he is doing to much.

katiepoppycat

just wanted to add to divadee's comment that this is what happens in retail. I would seriously think about him getting out now - it will not improve in the future. I left for the same reasons. It can get quite competitive amongst management as to who can get there earliest and finish latest, and it's a vicious circle. He's trying to keep up with the rest of the team and not be seen as a slacker. Get him out of there!

bs0u0128

i would check theres no cashier girl he has his eye on,. or someone making it fun for him to be there

gerturdeanna

That's another story!! Aparently, he has said to one of the girls working there that if he wasn't with me he'd be with her!!!
I think I will have to get him out of there!!!!

pulliptears

I apologise if this sounds harsh, its not meant to be, its more an observation.

You seem to be dominating his life and making decisions for him, soley from your words:

When I first got the application for him, the job seemed great

nealallen

bs0u0128 wrote: »

i would check theres no cashier girl he has his eye on,. or someone making it fun for him to be there

That remark was a great help!!

Can you not see the OP was upset

gerturdeanna

pulliptears wrote: »

I apologise if this sounds harsh, its not meant to be, its more an observation.

You seem to be dominating his life and making decisions for him, soley from your words:

I do wear the trousers in our relationship, I completely hold my hands up to that. I got him the application as he was in a dead end job working all hours and not getting the credit (see the similarities!!)
He isn't a 'doer' IYKWIM, although he did work up to assistant manager without my help lol!!