Family Dilema over Parents future welfare

accoustic22

Thanks Pa Ja, never even thought of my brother divorcing and so on...wow, so many things that hadn't even occured to us - this is all so very helpful - thankyou you all so much .

Sambella

AylesburyDuck wrote: »

I read that as it's his teenage childrens home and they wouldnt be selling untill they were adult and possible left the nest.

Yes you could well be right but it stuck me as odd as it is kind of obvious that of course their non adult kids would reside with them.

accoustic22

Thanks AylesburyDuck and Sambella. Yes it is a situation that can go very badly wrong.
No my brother meant his kids would need to flee the nest and need time rather than being turfed out - it isn't his intention to buy them homes.

xylophone

Your parents are currently living in your brother's house so one assumes that they have a bedroom of their own.

What real need is there of an extension?

It seems to me that if your brother wishes to extend, he should remortgage in his own name, ( after all, it will be he and his children who will eventually benefit), your parents should keep their cash and should pay your brother a set monthly sum towards their board and lodging.

He can use this cash towards his mortgage payments.

Should either of your parents need to go into care, the money will then be there to fund it.

Sambella

Surely the plan for an extension costing £100k is to make room for everyone?

ElsieMonkey

Is there time for the extension to be re-thought? 100k sounds like a massive amount of money for an extension. If your brother ever sold the house, near or far future, would he even make that money back? (Obviously I don't know where the house is but every street has a ceiling price).

Perhaps splitting the proceeds from your parent's sale between siblings now is best, and if your brother wants to invest his in his house fine - that's up to him. Or if he has to, to accommodate parents and this involves caring for them now/in later years, maybe you agree he gets a little more. But your parents should also keep some back for themselves, to cover the cost of things they may need in the future, like the equipment you talk of, or more specialised care. Obviously this would involve your brother's extension plans being completely re-drawn and being more modest, I'd imagine. I appreciate there's only so much money to go around, which is why blowing it all on an extension seems risky to me.

Personally I wouldn't be happy with the current arrangement, it leaves everyone completely reliable on your brother 'doing the right thing'. Not to say he doesn't have intentions to, but we all know circumstances change in a blink of an eye and life never quite pans out as expected no matter how much we plan them to.

Apologies if my idea seems a bit too simplistic, I haven't yet found myself in this situation and I can't begin to realise the complexities of it. Good luck I hope you find some resolution that seems fair as can be for all concerned.

fairy_lights

As the whole plan seems quite poorly thought out, I'm wondering if your brother has got planning permission for the extension?

saverbuyer

Sounds like a massive cluster****.

missbiggles1

ElsieMonkey wrote: »

Is there time for the extension to be re-thought? 100k sounds like a massive amount of money for an extension. If your brother ever sold the house, near or far future, would he even make that money back? (Obviously I don't know where the house is but every street has a ceiling price). Perhaps splitting the proceeds from your parent's sale between siblings now is best, and if your brother wants to invest his in his house fine. If this involves parents living with him and caring for them, maybe you agree he gets a little more. But your parents should also keep some back for themselves, to cover the cost of things they may need in the future, like the equipment you talk of. Obviously this would involve your brother's extension plans being completely re-drawn and being more modest, I'd imagine.

Personally I wouldn't be happy with the current arrangement, it leaves everyone completely reliable on your brother 'doing the right thing'. Not to say he doesn't have intentions to, but we all know circumstances change in a blink of an eye and life never quite pans out as expected no matter how much we plan them to.

Apologies if my idea seems a bit too simplistic, I haven't yet found myself in this situation and I can't begin to realise the complexities of it. Good luck I hope you find some resolution that seems fair as can be for all concerned.

Why on earth would the parents want to give their money away now, just when they're needing to look towards paying for help with their care or even care home fees?

accoustic22

Thanks xylophone and Sambella, yes the extension was to make room for everyone but also give them their own facilities but they dont need the same things now due to being unable to cook by themselves etc.