We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide
What should I do now?
MXW
Posts: 563 Forumite
Have met someone online and have been in contact with him a while and been on 4 dates, the last being Friday. He has been very keen and has text me everyday, throughout the day and has rung me.
He separated from his wife in January, has financially paid her off, and she has reverted to her maiden name. The were together for 22 years.
I previously had a relationship with a guy who had been married for 25 years, and eventually discovered that he wasn't ready for a relationship, and it ended between us. I can't deny that at the time this upset me , but I moved on.
Because of this I had a very honest conversation with him and explained what had happened in my previous relationship, and needed to know history wouldn't repeat itself with him, and asked him if he was ready for a (potential) relationship. He told me that he had moved on and was ready.
Things have been incredibly good between us. He rang me on Thursday and told me his ex needed to speak to him, she wouldn't say why, and he agreed to see her Saturday (late afternoon). He hasn't heard from her since their separation. He told me he wanted to be honest with me.....I can't deny I was a little out out, and my first thought was that she wanted a reconciliation.
He assured me this was not going to happen, and if anything he thought she would be asking for a divorce.
We went out on Friday night, had a great time, and he text me to say what a great time he had had,and couldn't wait to do it again.
He text me Saturday, just the usual, have a great day etc. He didn't text me later to let me know about the meeting with his ex, and up until Sunday lunchtime, hadn't contacted me.
I text him Sunday lunch just to ask how hid day was, and how the meeting went with his ex. After 4 hours, I received no response, so text him and said, that as I had received no response....I assumed that was my answer. Still no reply.
It got to the evening, by which time I was upset by the fact he hadn't got back to me, given the conversation we had previously had. I rang him and he told me that he had been fishing and hadn't had his phone on him. When he had got back to the car, he had seen my message and said that he had intended on ringing me later. Said his ex had told him that she had met someone and he was moving in with her. I asked how he felt about that, and he said he didn't care. It was a very hurried conversation as he was unloading his car from the fishing trip. He said he would ring me today. I text him afterwards and apologised for ringing him, and that I didn't want to hassle him, buy that I just wanted to know what was going on. He replied and said no problem, and admitted he should have text me earlier, and apologised.
Well, he hasn't rung me today. I have sent him a chatty text, and no reply. I don't want to hassle him, but think he owes it to me to let me know what's going on. I'm quite upset by this now.
What should I do????
He separated from his wife in January, has financially paid her off, and she has reverted to her maiden name. The were together for 22 years.
I previously had a relationship with a guy who had been married for 25 years, and eventually discovered that he wasn't ready for a relationship, and it ended between us. I can't deny that at the time this upset me , but I moved on.
Because of this I had a very honest conversation with him and explained what had happened in my previous relationship, and needed to know history wouldn't repeat itself with him, and asked him if he was ready for a (potential) relationship. He told me that he had moved on and was ready.
Things have been incredibly good between us. He rang me on Thursday and told me his ex needed to speak to him, she wouldn't say why, and he agreed to see her Saturday (late afternoon). He hasn't heard from her since their separation. He told me he wanted to be honest with me.....I can't deny I was a little out out, and my first thought was that she wanted a reconciliation.
He assured me this was not going to happen, and if anything he thought she would be asking for a divorce.
We went out on Friday night, had a great time, and he text me to say what a great time he had had,and couldn't wait to do it again.
He text me Saturday, just the usual, have a great day etc. He didn't text me later to let me know about the meeting with his ex, and up until Sunday lunchtime, hadn't contacted me.
I text him Sunday lunch just to ask how hid day was, and how the meeting went with his ex. After 4 hours, I received no response, so text him and said, that as I had received no response....I assumed that was my answer. Still no reply.
It got to the evening, by which time I was upset by the fact he hadn't got back to me, given the conversation we had previously had. I rang him and he told me that he had been fishing and hadn't had his phone on him. When he had got back to the car, he had seen my message and said that he had intended on ringing me later. Said his ex had told him that she had met someone and he was moving in with her. I asked how he felt about that, and he said he didn't care. It was a very hurried conversation as he was unloading his car from the fishing trip. He said he would ring me today. I text him afterwards and apologised for ringing him, and that I didn't want to hassle him, buy that I just wanted to know what was going on. He replied and said no problem, and admitted he should have text me earlier, and apologised.
Well, he hasn't rung me today. I have sent him a chatty text, and no reply. I don't want to hassle him, but think he owes it to me to let me know what's going on. I'm quite upset by this now.
What should I do????
0
Comments
-
Is this the same guy from the last time you posted?0
-
You do nothing.
And if you don't hear from him you chalk it down to experience and move on.
It's pretty unpleasant place for you to be. But, alas, four dates is nothing.0 -
Is this the same guy from the last time you posted?
No, the last guy was the one that I have mentioned in my post, it ended because he didn't want a full on relationship. I accepted that and moved on. I was honest with this guy, explained what had happened before and that i didn't want to be in this situation again. He assured me he had moved on and was ready.0 -
Honestly? I think you need to chill out a bit. You've only been on 4 dates, just let him talk to you when he's ready and forget about it. If you want the kind of guy who sends texts constantly then maybe he's not the guy for you.0
-
Chill out. Stop texting him! He will reply if or when he feels like it, I he doesn't, then let it go. You are coming across as desperate0
-
Sorry, I think you are being far too needy and pushy, it's very early days in the 'relationship' - he was honest enough to tell you he was meeting his estranged wife, when really it's none of your business. Give the guy a break and chill out a bit. He might well feel ready for another relationship but that may not be with you, how can he give any guarantees not to change his mind when he hardly knows you?Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game0 -
Chill out. Stop texting him! He will reply if or when he feels like it, I he doesn't, then let it go. You are coming across as desperate
I don't think texting him to ask him if he's had a good day, could be classed as being desperate, when that's what we BOTH do on a regular basis.0 -
So you split with a fella in May, found another and that ended in Auguest , now this one is the love of your life?
Maybe you need to read your back history and take a step back0 -
At no point have I said he is the love of my life. I haven't dated for many years (which I put in my previous post). I tried online dating and have been on a grand total of 2 dates, which is pretty much the point of online dating. The one that ended in august was because he clearly wasn't ready for a relationship (despite him saying otherwise). I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to end up in the same situation this time round, which is why I had an honest conversation with him. If after seeing his ex, he is having second thoughts, then I would rather just know and move on, without having the uncertainty, like I had last time. I don't think that's unreasonable, and then we both know where we stand. I perhaps used the wrong word when I said I was upset....I just don't want to be messed around (like last time). That's what I'm trying to avoidSo you split with a fella in May, found another and that ended in Auguest , now this one is the love of your life?
Maybe you need to read your back history and take a step back0 -
I don't think texting him to ask him if he's had a good day, could be classed as being desperate, when that's what we BOTH do on a regular basis.
He hasn't rung you today and you sent him a chatty text and got no reply, and you are practically demanding an explanation,
Previously you text him , and after four hours you got no reply and you text him again,
I'm sorry, but IMHO, you are sounding desperate, and needy as mentioned above.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 354.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 254.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 455.4K Spending & Discounts
- 247.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 604K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 178.4K Life & Family
- 261.5K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards