wanted advice about some contact with dad

belinda729

It's not really the coat of the kit it's the glasses he needs and the fact his dad won't take him

missbiggles1

belinda729 wrote: »

It's not really the coat of the kit it's the glasses he needs and the fact his dad won't take him

How old is your son?

Fosterdog

Does he pay you maintenance? If he does and at the correct rate then although morally he should contribute to his sons interests he legally doesn't have to.

You say he's been on two holidays but was he the one who paid for them or maybe he genuinely can't afford it and his new partner paid for the holidays.

belinda729

My son is 9 and yes he does pay csa albeit in arrears...last to we were in court magistrate told him he should pay for half and heI agreed but then went back on this after i ordered goggles and consequently lost the deposit ..i have a feeling even if i had all the kit he qould find another excuse

TBagpuss

Does your son want to play?
If so then I think the best thing to do is to stop trying to get your ex to pay for it, and instead look at what you can afford, and whether any help is available from the team / club. They may have some discretionary funds if you are really struggling.

Take your son to the practices and matches which fall on days when he is with you.

Let the coach / other organiser know that your son is with his dad on alternate weekends and that any arrangements for those weekends need to be made with him. Let the coach have your ex's contact details and provide your ex with contact details for the coach and the dates / times of the practices. Let him know, (once) that your son enjoys it, that it was a good idea of dad's, and that it is his choice whether to take his son to football on the days he is with him.

And leave it at that. You can't force your ex to take him or to provide financial support for the costs of taking part. It does sound as though he is being awkward and making excuses but you can't change that. At your son's age, participating in alternate matches won't hurt, and he is unlikely to be the first child the coaches etc.have come across with similar issues.

jamiehelsinki

I pay maintenance to my ex, my take is its her responsibility to pay for the children then. Well it was, my daughter is now with me.

When you have your child for a limited time each week it's frustrating when the other parent tries to tell you what to do in that time or change or limit your hours.

Maintenance is your ex's contribution to go along with child benefit, possibly tax credits and your contribution towards your son's costs.

FBaby

Does your son actually need goggles? My son's friend play with his own glasses. It is at his own risk if they get broken but it has never happened. Alternatively, if he is 10, could he consider wearing contact lenses, if only for when he plays?

As for the issue of his dad not taking him, that's why I suggested that contact could be changed to one week-end day every week, ie. the day he doesn't play instead of every other week-end, so you can then take him.

Loz01

I help run an u15 girls football team and we've played teams before where players have worn normal glasses. I know sports goggles are good but they shouldn't be the difference between your son playing or not playing.

Make sure you explain to the team coaches/manager that you are separated (if they don't know) and your son goes to his Dads on weekends etc - we have this in our team and when info is sent out for games/matches we just double it up to both parents so no one is left the dark about times/dates.