wanted advice about some contact with dad

belinda729

Guest101 wrote: »

Why on earth are you wasting court time and your money on taking such frivolous things to court?


Surely that money would have been best spent on the actuall glasses and kit?

My thoughts exactly he took me to court not the other way around

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly he took me to court not the other way around

Apologies, it seemed like you were taking him to court - as it seemed you were seeking judgment for additional financial support.


It does seem ludicrous though and I'm shocked the courts are even entertaining these cases

belinda729

So by that logic guest101...it was his idea for my son to go to football...so I get to pay for all the kit and trips and take him back and fore ...whilst he gets to do whatever he wants regardless of what my son wants??

belinda729

My son refused contact cos he wanted to play football....so he took me to court for a breach of court order which cost him 200...much less than bloody football

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

So by that logic guest101...it was his idea for my son to go to football...so I get to pay for all the kit and trips and take him back and fore ...whilst he gets to do whatever he wants regardless of what my son wants??

Let's flip reverse it, do you justify what you do with your son to your ex?


It was his idea to suggest your (mutual) child takes up a sporting activity.


I'm confused, your son has made the team (congrats) but has no goggles, so is quite happy to play without them? Is this expense required at the minute?


To answer your question, as a dedicated parent (take solace that your ex isn't one) yes you do exactly that, you buy the kit, pay for transport, stand in the rain freezing your socks off, so he can enjoy his game. That's being a good parent.


Forget point scoring.

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

My son refused contact cos he wanted to play football....so he took me to court for a breach of court order which cost him 200...much less than bloody football

How old is your son?


I totally agree morally that your sons wishes should be adhered to. But one game in two is fine.


You should support contact with his father (even if you don't like him).


Some parents lives 100+ miles apart, the NRP would be in the same position. Parents make it work.


It sounds like you were in breach of the order - legally speaking.

belinda729

Whilst I agree if they live further apart this wouldn't be an issue by its the principle he wont let him attend birthday parties or see friends....last yr it was a diffeent activity he wanted to attend and wasn't allowed to and now it's football....where does it end surely he should have to take responsibility at some pointwhy do I have to keep bailing him out and doing what he should be doing.

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

Whilst I agree if they live further apart this wouldn't be an issue by its the principle he wont let him attend birthday parties or see friends....last yr it was a diffeent activity he wanted to attend and wasn't allowed to and now it's football....where does it end surely he should have to take responsibility at some pointwhy do I have to keep bailing him out and doing what he should be doing.

When your son is older he'll decide for himself what kind of relationship to have with his dad, for now, support your son, prompt him to try with his dad and just be a good parent.


This stuff eventually sorts itself out.

newcook

while its unfair that your son sometimes has to miss out on things because he's at his dads its also unfair for your ex - he sees him every other weekend and thats then cut short because of an activity/birthday party etc.

while its important that your son takes part things he also must realise that sometimes he cant have everything his own way and somethings will take priority over others - such as quality time with his dad and other family rather than kicking a ball with his mates.

you need to speak to your ex and try and find a some middle ground - if ex wants son to do something tell him to stump up the funds and you'll give him half so you aren't out of pocket all the time. or take it in turns to buy it.

while you may think him all the names under the sun dont bad-mouth him in front of your son - he has plenty of time to make his own decision of what his father is like without being influenced.

you both need to show a nice, friendly face to each other in front of son and both need to stop using him as a pawn or to let him play you off one another.

FBaby

OP, it sounds like the problem is with his partner/step-children. I can see his point if indeed, he/partner have already told one of the children that they couldn't do a particular activity because they can't afford/can't take the time to take them to it, and then they agreed to do for your son.

I have been in a similar situation. If your son is genuinely very keen, could you try to speak with the coach about paying for the kit and see if he can loan it to start with and agree that you pay in installments? Maybe he knows an kid whose given up and could give the kit. Then negotiate with your ex about him going to his dad every Saturday or Sunday rather than every other week-end?