Chores for children

Spendless

After coming home from work several times to find the kitcehn an absolutely pig-sty after I#d been at work all day during these summer holidays, I left the children a note stating I would NOT be washing up on my return and to make sure they washed up. It worked the 2nd time I left a note.

Inspired I then proceeded to tell my DS to tidy up where he keeps the computer. He interpreted this as move the tower and set it up so he can do his college work from home. Meanwhile the empty drinks bottles and blankets etc he's had remain dumped on the floor. Job for the weekend for him!!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I was in the position with Offspring #2 when she reached 11 to pay her for an understanding that she would help whenever I asked for help, her clothes made it into the linen basket and away if I'd washed them, she would put washloads on/take stuff out/etc rather than expecting me to do it if I wasn't already doing them, the cats would get fed if she was up/came home first and plates, etc, went straight into the dishwasher.

In exchange, her pay consisted of money for her day to day expenses, so she had control over it instead of me, and, if she did something over and above that, I would pay her extra as recognition of her additional work. As it was, when #2 was young enough to respond, #1 was at an age where looking in her direction was nagging and oppressing her spirit, apparently, so no amount of money could entice her to do anything. She found her niche at her boyfriend's house, where Children Got To Be Children all the way up to their mid forties.

I wish I'd been able to do this a couple of years earlier to help the eldest, as whilst #2 has a great attitude to money, her sister really struggled budgeting when she first left home and would spend too much on clothes and shoes, then run out of money for food.

jackyann

I don't think there's any hd and fast rules - it what suits you as a family. My experience is that kids will get on with chores if they feel it is useful, and just a part of being family and growing up.
I have mixed experience of the *leave them to be kids* philosophy, and I think it depends on the unwritten messages of the family. In some it is *there's always a doormat to do things for you*; in others it's *enjoy your life now, you'll learn to do the chores soon enough when the time comes*

I had a friend whose mother did everything - she would cook a full breakfast at whatever time he appeared on a weekend morning, do all his washing & ironing, pack up his sandwiches and so on. But he'd been observant. Some years later, a new acquaintance remarked of him *he must have had a fantastic mother, his wife never had to nag him, he just gets on with the chores, and he's so efficient*. I think he was just doing what he thought grown-ups did.

LKRDN_Morgan

Mine does the hoovering occasionally and keeps his bedroom free of newly discovered moulds, rat infestations etc.
That's pretty much it

Reading some of the replies though I'm clearly a soft touch! :eek:

Newly_retired

My grandson aged 8 willingly helps with the chickens, the gardening, dragging the bins along the lane, keeps his room pretty tidy, mostly because he is at the age where he wants to please. His older sister will do extra jobs for pocket money, but is expected to do her share with the chickens and bins for nothing. She is now able to use the kettle and do some cooking under supervision. Generally she likes to feel she is getting more independent, rather than "helping". I. guess this may change when she gets home from school later and has more homework.
I don't think either of them do any cleaning though.
As a child myself I wasn't expected to do anything. My mum believed it was her job. I regret that, as I ought to have helped her.

FBaby

indsty wrote: »

I had 3 boys, they never did "chores". We were a family, we lived in the same home, we communicated and did things together as a family. They never considered they were doing "chores" whilst helping their mum or dad to do things which needed to be done. They knew that a home needed looking after and from the age of 2 were happy to be helping. They grew up looking after their own bedrooms, sorting their own washing, drying dishes etc etc, because that is just how we did things.

But that is exactly how I went about it too with my kids from the time they were toddlers. We put the toys back together, we all brought something to the table and then back, they had a little sweeping toy etc... it became part of the routine for your kids whereas mine grew to hate every part of it.

I guess all kids are different. If I told my kids they had a choice of 30 minutes tidying or 1 hour doing homework they would without a doubt pick the latter. It still very hard to live with constantly having to nag them to do the most basic things day after day after day!

big5

My 3yr old loves loading and emptying the washing machine, helps to water the plants in the garden and tidies away his toys. It's all a game to him, but he also likes the praise he gets for being a good helper. Would be lovely to think he'll still be so obliging when he's a teenager, lol!

suki1964

The grandkids (3 and 10 ) do nothing at home

Here they know they have to help else we don't get playtime if nanny is too tired

They bring the plates to the table and put them in the dishwasher

They pick their toys up and put them away

They put their clothes in the laundry

Both help with the hens and grandson helps DH on whatever project he's working on in the garden or garage

It's a far cry from when I was a child. I was given a list, and the money, to head down to the market Saturday mornings from the age of 8 to get the veg, bread, cheese , soap powder etc

We also as kids used to do most of the daily chores, washing up, preparing veg, making the endless cups of tea both parents drank, emptied the bins, dusted and hoovered as well as keeping our own rooms clean

stroodes

I suppose hubby and me have made a rod for our own backs but we both had pretty dire childhoods so over compansate, although older son is good at taking rubbish out and shopping if I'm working and younger son is the best dog walker ever.

Sicard

My opinion is everyone has to contribute to the family unit. Of course kids resent having to do chores it's in their dna but it does give them a sense of responsibility in later life. I come from a family of six which in the 50s was a large unit. I was given chores even as a toddler. My first job was to bring in the milk bottles which I could only do one at a time by hauling them along the floor. Then I progressed to cleaning out the fireplace from the previous evening's ashes.

You can always give them a carrot and stick approach, each chore rewarded in some way.