Chores for children

silvercar

My children did very little when they were young. As adults they seem just of capable of chores as any of their friends, some of whom must have been tasked with chores at a young age.

It must be easier to 'learn' how to hoover or load the washing machine as a 22 year old than as an 8 year old.

Can't we let children be children?

peachyprice

Kynthia wrote: »

I do but i dont see why you wouldn't get them involved in what needs doing, especially when they'll need to know how to do it at some point? Why are you so negative about children helping with the household tasks. Using the word 'forcing' seems to indicate that you don't believe children will do it otherwise or that it's wrong somehow?

What do you mean by young children as the post I quoted they weren't young and one was an adult?

On the contrary, there's children helping with household chores out of kindness and willingness, and then there's making children perform household chores using regimes, charts, stickers and consequences. Two entirely different situations.

As an adult do you like being dictated to that you will help someone because another adult doesn't want to do that job themselves or do you prefer being able to to make the decision to help someone because you want to?

AylesburyDuck

I can remember as a child being told when i'd learnt to do certain chores that i'd have a sense of achievement (sorry Kynthia it sparked a memory), to me it's just something adults say that makes them feel better about it. I and probably many other children till the end of time will only feel resentment no matter what they say to the parent. LOL
It's not untill you actualy get older (and have to for yourself) that i think any sense of achievment actually kicks in.
As a teenager i cant remember a single time when either i or mates uttered the words," did all the ironing (washing up/bins insert chore of choice) for mum, i really achieved something there", probably what came out of our mouths was a lot less nice and peppered with curses.
I often think do parents loose all abilty to remember childhood after they cut the umbilical cord of their first born (i have 4 myself), it sometimes seems so.

tea_lover

I spent many years living with someone (thankfully no more) whose mother was of the "let children just be children" school of thought. She never taught him the basics of being part of a family and all playing a part in that. It's done him no favours at all - and pretty much guaranteed that no one will ever live with him again.

AylesburyDuck

tea_lover wrote: »

I spent many years living with someone (thankfully no more) whose mother was of the "let children just be children" school of thought. She never taught him the basics of being part of a family and all playing a part in that. It's done him no favours at all - and pretty much guaranteed that no one will ever live with him again.

Was it that or was she realy a " My little Jonny can do no wrong" kind of a woman.
Big difference.

jackomdj

I went through a stage of nagging etc. now I nag less but their pocket money depends upon certain things being done. I think it teaches them how to tidy, making choices, and if you do things you get paid.

I was brought up in a messy house where we weren't encouraged to help or tidy, I hope my children will realise it is much nicer to live in a clean and tidy house.

theEnd

Do kids not do paper rounds etc these days?

AylesburyDuck

theEnd wrote: »

Do kids not do paper rounds etc these days?

Yes, that said, waiting lists at newsagents for paperboy/girl jobs are extremely long.
Not exactly chores though is it?

penguingirl

My partner is the youngest of 3 boys and was never expected to lift a finger. Even at the age of 21 his mum would magically remove all of his clothes from his bedroom floor and have washed, dried, ironed and put them away by the time he was home from work. He took a lot of training when we moved in together! Thankfully after 8 years co-habiting he is much better, although still really struggles with initiative with housework. His brothers are the same. They are capable, but it doesn't come naturally to them and they will happily let their partners run around after them. I really don't think his mum did him any favours by 'letting him be a child'.

I also think there's gender stereotypes- I definitely 'helped' a lot more than my brothers growing up. Even now my parents expect me to be more independent than my brothers, who can be happy to let Mum run around after them (we're all in our 30s!). Both me and my partner came from families where Mum did all the housework and cooking (with part-time work) and Dad worked full-time/ long hours so I think it can be easy to fall into those gender roles. One of the things I am very grateful of is that we share the cooking/ do it together (thanks to my training!), and I hope that will be a positive if we have children.

Dird

30 minutes every day??? what a slave driver
Maybe you could say they'll do washing & drying (if no dishwasher) after meals & offer to bump their pocket money as a result

Only chore I did was washing the car after I got my dad to agree to pay me