Friend ?

-taff

You could reply with 'yes thanks, everything is ok, but i'm very busy at the moment, I'll contact you if I get some free time in the future', then don't reply to any more texts.
The more you talk, the more she'lll reply. Cutting off contact will eventually give her the hint, but keeping the conversation going will only encourage her.

Ted_Boon

Thank you for your continued advice, it is much appreciated.

Sometimes when you're the person who's involved you can't see the wood for the trees.

I've sent a message to say that everything is good and that I'm busy and left it at that.

I can envisage the messages will continue to arrive. There's always a pair of shoes near the front door and my car keys are handy too so if anyone knocks I'll put them on quick and pick up the keys.

Thank you everyone.

Mrs Ted xxxx

Anglea

I find the best approach is literally be yourself and only have contact with them on your terms.

I used to have non-stop problems with this especially after I changed my lifestyle from seeing a large group of friends frequently in the week to virtually not at all. I was put under constant pressure (and still get it occasionally) but I have distanced myself from taking it personally.

Life isn't set in stone and we are allowed to change our priorities. One of the people in the group who I had the worst problems with in terms of wanting to see me all the time and didn't take no for an answer is now my best friend and this came about after I changed my reactions from victim to being in charge of my emotions.

When you constantly feel under siege with calls, unwanted invites etc you respond with avoidance, creative excuses and mental exhaustion and feel constantly guilty and scared you'll run into people. But as soon as I stopped all that and literally just responded when it suited me (or not at all) it was such a huge relief.

-taff

I have a friend who would nswer the front door or her phone as and when she felt like, no matter who it was.
I was quite shocked to start with, being brought up to be uber polite, but now, I follow her lead completeley. I find it very refreshing to choose when I feel sociable....

Primrose

Use the answer phone as your servant. . Most of us are brought up in a work ethic environment where phones HAVE to be answered. At home, the answer phone is there for our convenience . If you don't,t want to be interrupted in whatever you!re doing, just let it take a message. We have a rule for example that we let the answerphone take messages when we are having a meal so that we can try eat in a civilised way without interruptions. It can still be picked up if it's flagging an emergency but thankfully these days it rarely is.

bugslet

Ted_Boon wrote: »

Well message was sent as I said in #14 .... but she doesn't appear to be getting the hint. I got a message later last night saying don't you fancy going for a coffee like we used to. Is everything okay.

Yes life could be so much simpler #grrrrr

I'm still waiting for the knock on my front door or a drive past to check I am as busy as I say I am.

Whilst I like thorsoak and tbagpuss's suggestions, there may come a point when you have to be a bit more blunt and say that you are finding her problems too difficult/overwhelming and that you don't want to carry on with the friendship outside of the shared activity.