Friend ?

Dill

"Lose" your phone and need to get a new number, and forget to tell her It won't stop her turning up at your house, but if you're not expecting anyone you don't need to answer the door. I'm mega-careful who I give my (new) mobile number out to now, as I'd find it stressful to be bombarded with unwanted texts and calls.

System

just keep telling her that your busy. She'll soon get the message.

Ted_Boon

Thank you for all your advice.

I've sent a text message back saying I've been very busy but I'm happy to catch up with her when we're next at our shared interest.

I've not been (at the shared interest) for a few weeks due to one thing or another so hopefully she too will be having some time off.



Just to reply to some comments that said I should ignore her, I had been in the hope she would lose interest but that didn't seem to work. I'm aware she has suffered from MH problems in the past and clearly I don't want to exacerbate those but I don't want to be the sole crutch either so I had to do something.

Mrs Ted x

Sam_Fallow

I think you've handled it well, Mrs Ted.

But am I alone in wondering what the common interest is? None of my business I know but...

I'm guessing allotment.

Detroit

thorsoak wrote: »

"Dear X Sorry that I haven't responded to your earlier texts but at the moment there is so much going on in my life that I'm not sure when I can see you again. It's not a case of you having upset me - it's just that I have to prioritise what I can do and who I can see.

Regards"

I think this is the perfect wording.

PinkGladioli

Block her number.

If you are unfortunate enough to bump into her just say sorry you lost your phone.

oystercatcher

I have a 'friend' like this too. She can be very emotionally exhausting. I still enjoy our shared activity so that will continue when possible but I have set boundaries and just say no to too much contact.
Attention seeking texts get an 'oh dear' answer but I refuse to get too involved.
I don't tell her anything personal as I know it will be discussed with all friends and family, as I know all their personal information :eek:

Sometimes I laugh to myself as 'friend' complains about past friends who have disappeared for no apparent reason.

I have supported 'friend' through several medical problems and a bereavement, (and many exaggerated disasters) . Now I have had my own family bereavement and all my time and energy is taken up with this . Luckily 'friend' has latched onto a couple of new people for support during the latest medical problem . I was so relieved when I offered a lift to the hospital and was told she already had one.

I now plan to be busy with family most of the time as far as she is concerned .

I feel sorry for 'friend' but I also have to protect myself from being taken advantage of.

Ted_Boon

Well message was sent as I said in #14 .... but she doesn't appear to be getting the hint. I got a message later last night saying don't you fancy going for a coffee like we used to. Is everything okay.

Yes life could be so much simpler #grrrrr

I'm still waiting for the knock on my front door or a drive past to check I am as busy as I say I am.

thorsoak

"Yes everything is okay but I don't have time to go for a coffee at the moment, and can't say when I will be less busy. When I am less busy I will try to contact you but again, I don't know when that might be".

oystercatcher

You don't even need to give a reason. Just say " Sorry can't do coffee, see you at shared activity".

Keep coat / bag etc handy so if she turns up at door you can be just getting ready to go out (to somewhere she won't want to go to as well!) Or if you don't want to leave the house tell her you have a terrible infectious tummy bug ... "excuse me I need the loo again ! " and shut the door in her face !!