"Start wherever you are and start small"

Huskyrunner

Are you male or female never underestimate?

NeverUnderestimate

Female Husky.

Huskyrunner

if you were a guy i was gunna recommend some support help groups.

Your not alone i know what your going through the whole feeling empty is a weird feeling.

Have you ready any books re mental illness some can help.

Huskyrunner

A good one i can recommend is counselling for toads :-) by robert de board

or The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters both helped me a lot

NeverUnderestimate

Thanks!

I've been to support groups before. They're not massively for me. I did a cognitive focused therapy group for a while but it was too much for me. I lacked concentration and the attention for it.

NeverUnderestimate

Today's a NSD bringing total to 3/12 NSD.

I've not done much today. I've wrote a big to do list. That's it though. I've only managed to complete one thing off there as of yet.

The boy has gone to his dad's. He comes back Tuesday.

I need to make a plan of what I'm going to do and how I'll do it.

Tomorrow I will ring the mental health team and see roughly when I'll be seen. I need to contact work to let them know I'm off.

I need to keep myself distracted.

Bobarella

Hope you are doing ok.

NeverUnderestimate

Afternoon.

Things aren't massively brilliant at the moment. My head is still so up and down and I am struggling to do much. I have gone from 100mph to 0. I am at a standstill. But maybe, maybe that's okay.

I do not like being off work, however as much as I don't want to believe so it is for the best. I need to make a plan of what I am going to do. I am still awaiting to hear back from the community mental health team. Yesterday I was told they would review my referral and I would possibly have a phone call this afternoon to state what next and whether I would be accepted. I could not hold out and contacted them earlier for a lady to tell me that they still have outstanding referrals to discuss from last week. So I feel pretty hopeless. I am impatient and that is one of my downfalls. I would just like someone to talk to about how I am feeling and try to understand why I feel the way I do. I am not used to not having a clear plan laid out in front of me or being in control.

Yesterday I accompanied my mum to the shops to return an item. I did not feel brilliant and I could tell in my behavior that I should have probably stayed at home. I was nervous, on edge, twitchy and irritable that something so simple turned into something so complicated when it shouldn't have to be.
Whilst out I purchased an outfit for my friends sons birthday and also picked up a jumper for my son. I then picked up some extra bits for my sons lunchbox which should see us for the next couple of weeks. In total I spent around £48.00.

Yesterday I also distracted myself and wrapped Christmas presents I have already bought. My remaining budget for other Christmas spends for family and friends is £300.00- this is more than enough in my head. I think I am going to do the majority of my Christmas shop online. It saves the hassle and anxiety of busy town centres.

I have also decided to use some savings to make an over payment on my loan. It has come to a random figure of £1259.57. That should bring the total amount of my loan to £10.312.16 by the time it has come out although if the interest alters it may be less than that, I cant imagine by much though. It is all set aside in a separate account ready to go out. I still have a healthy balance in my HTB Isa plus enough set aside in savings in case anything happens (approximately monthly income x4).

A few months back I never thought anything of the car finance and treated it like any other general outgoing and did not pay attention to the balance. However I guess now it financed through a personal loan, I am more aware of this and want to tackle it head on. I need to be realistic though.

Aside from that not much else to say. My finances seem to be the only thing I feel I have control of at the moment.

NeverUnderestimate

Ultimate Goals

- Tackle debt and get loan amount to below £10,000. Aim for this by December 31st 2016 in time for the New Year.
- Buy remaining Christmas presents with a budget of £300.00. I aim to have all my Christmas shopping done and wrapped by 15th December.
- Pay remaining balance of holiday for next year, £1827.00. This is due March 1st 2017. Savings can cover this however I'll siphon money into a separate account.

Loan Repayments Goals
-Reduce loan amount to below £8800. By March 2017.
-Reduce loan amount to £7900. By June 2017.
-Reduce loan amount to £7000. By September 2017.
-Reduce loan amount to £6000. By December 2017.

Help to Buy Isa Goals
- Aim for £3400. By March 2017. (£200 per month installments)
- Aim for £4000. By June 2017. (£200 per month installments)
- Aim for £4600. By September 2017. (£200 per month installments)
- Aim for £5200. By December 2017. (£200 per month installments)

General Savings
-Increase by £1000. By June 2017.
-Increase by £2000. By December 2017. (An extra £1000 on top of what was saved by June).

Bobarella

Lots of planning going on despite your ongoing situation.