Asking someone to pay for damage caused.

maman

I'd start by asking them and then if no immediate response speak to their mothers.


I think they're getting off lightly paying £100 each. You may not be fussed about the ornaments but they all cost money.


I suppose it's difficult if they're family friends of longstanding but I really wouldn't want that pair in my home. It's bad enough when unruly children visit.

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

Next time, don't ply unknowns with firewater.

Leaporlepor

Lily-Rose wrote: »

As I said, I think you will find it hard to make any kind of claim against them, as you invited them in, and you should really have moved anything expensive out of the way, if you knew that 2 boisterous and childish men were coming to visit.

I do completely understand what you are saying but the clock was out of the way. It was on a high shelf as I said earlier although perhaps I wasn't so clear that the shelf itself was only a foot and a half from the ceiling. Even the tallest one of them would have had to of stood on something to even reach it. If I'd have had it at an easy reaching hight I would totally accept that it was more my fault.

I would like to thank everyone for their replies, I certainly have a lot to think about.

Lily-Rose_3

Leaporlepor wrote: »

I do completely understand what you are saying but the clock was out of the way. It was on a high shelf as I said earlier although perhaps I wasn't so clear that the shelf itself was only a foot and a half from the ceiling. Even the tallest one of them would have had to of stood on something to even reach it. If I'd have had it at an easy reaching hight I would totally accept that it was more my fault.

I would like to thank everyone for their replies, I certainly have a lot to think about.

Fair enough, but I still don't think you have a right to ask for any money for the damage, as you willingly invited them in.

As I said, if you knew they were like this, then why invite them? I just don't get it. There's no way any ridiculously immature people like this would even be allowed in my house.

Feel free to try and get some money out of them. I don't fancy your chances though.

Like I said, (earlier in the thread,) it's just my opinion, so do whatever you like.

Detroit

OP, you sound like you're in quite a vulnerable position given your illness and disability.

Obviously I don't know your friends, so apologies if I'm way off here; but from what you've said, I would suggest you are cautious around these people.

Neither of them have a place of their own, and seem to live under the fairly watchful eyes of their mums.

To be able to come and hang out at the home of someone with their own place, where they think they can do as they like, could be quite attractive.

In your position I would want to make sure this didn't escalate, with increasing numbers coming round to 'cheer you up', and abusing your home, or visits becoming parties that could get out of control (unless you want this of course!)

Do these friends socialize with you in other ways than hanging out at yours? Do they bring a bottle or takeaway, or just enjoy your hospitality?
Are they generally respectful, and this was a one off? Or do they often ignore your wishes in your home?

In short, are they real friends who you know care for you, or are they taking advantage of a handy mum free environment?

As I say, I could be way off, but I have seen many occasions of people taken advantage of by those they consider friends, with situations escalating until the person has lost all control of what goes on in their home; and they have personal circumstances that make them feel quite powerless.

Your post set off a few warning bells for me.

jackyann

OP - I broadly agree with Detroit.

I wonder why you are "friends" with these people, although I wonder if your family is friendly with their families you may feel a certain "obligation". I have been in this situation, but was able to put strong boundaries in place, and it sounds as if you are not in a position to do so.

It also sounds as if these men are not quite capable of leading their own adult lives (for whatever reasons)

I would:
let them know how much this is going to cost & how upset you are (without directly asking for money if this may escalate things)
if appropriate, let their mothers know that they have done something that upset you (if they are difficult to handle, their mothers may have been glad to see them out of the way at yours!)
inform everyone relevant that they are no longer welcome at your home, and expect real friends & family to help you enforce this. I do think this is especially necessary at a vulnerable time, as like Detroit, I could see them continuing to be disrespectful.

The issue to me is less the clock itself (although of course I understand your attachment to it) but the complete disregard for your home and yourself that they seem to have shown.

The good thing is that I imagine that the clock repair can wait until you have the money. Maybe you could ask your sister that instead of Xmas / birthday gift she gives you money towards its repair?

I completely understand about the insurance. I have one or two similar inherited things that would cost a fortune to insure, simply because repairs would be so difficult.

DigForVictory

Definitely make it clear to them that it will cost over £300 to repair, that it has value to you & that you expect them to help pay up.

They do not sound the best of friends, but not offering to stump up towards if not entirely? Is below what I expect of my friends.

If they are living off their mothers, then start with the lads & ask if they'd rather their irresponsible behaviour became domestic knowledge?

If the situation cuts down on your social circle, then frankly I'm not wholly sold you've lost out a great deal, so long as you get Some funding towards repairs.

Very best of luck.