Asking someone to pay for damage caused.

Leaporlepor

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this but here goes. I recently had my sister and two friends over to watch a film. The two friends were messing about (I'd already asked them to calm down twice), one threw a cushion at the other and he deflected it and it went into a high shelf and knocked everything down breaking some ornaments and a clock. The ornaments I'm not too bothered about but the clock was a valuable one which I inherited off of my Grandmother. I found out this morning that it will cost £315 to fix. I will mention now that it wasn't insured. My household insurance wouldn't cover it because the valuation of it was too high. I did have separate insurance for it but stupidly let it lapse. My two friends are both on JSA but both live rent and bill free with their parents. I asked my sister if I should ask them to cover part of the cost to repair the clock and she said I shouldn't bother as it'll just cause hassle. I would like to get some advice from people who are totally out of the situation about whether it would be appropriate or not to ask them to cover some of it. £315 is a lot of money for me and it was their messing about that caused the damage. Any ideas on what I should do?

Detroit

I think they should pay, by instalments if they can't afford a lump sum.

Whether they will or not is a different matter.
You can get a sence of this by their reactions at the time.

Did they apologise profusely? Did they offer to pay for damages?
If they did neither, I'd imagine they may be less likely to pay if than if they had acknowledged responsibility.

Quite honestly imo they shouldn't need to be asked.

I disagree with your sister, and think you should ask them to pay.

They may refuse, but i think you have little to lose if you offend them, as friends who will damage your property through avoidable behaviour, and not offer or agree to compensate you, are not really worth having.

I'd say something like 'its going to cost me £315 to repair that clock you broke. It's important to me as it was my grandma's. I think you two should give me half each'

If they're offended, so be it. I'd be offended at the damage to my property.

kingfisherblue

Yes, they should pay. They didn't stop messing about when you asked, and it resulted in breakages. Whether they will pay is another matter.

Tigsteroonie

How much do you want to keep their friendship? The fact that you're hesitant about asking them, tells me that you value their friendship more than the family heirloom.

But do they feel the same? If they were true friends, they'd be remorseful and would already have had a discussion with you at the time regarding repair costs.

Leaporlepor

They did apologise but made no mention of payment for the damage. They are almost like little boys in mens body's to be honest. They both expect everyone else to pay their way. One is 28 and the other is 34 and aside from living at home expense free they still get their respective mother's to tidy their rooms. I don't know if they would agree to pay for the damages or not. Part of the reason I'm hesitant to ask is because my health is poorer than usual right now. I had multiple organ infections four months ago that hospitalised me for a month and am only just getting over it properly but the day before the incident I was told that I may have breast cancer and have to go for tests. The whole reason they came over was to try and cheer me up. Writing this has given me an idea though. If they say no to paying for the damage I could speak to their mothers (who are family friends) and see if they could intervene. They both do everything for their sons but when one of them got a court fine his mother insisted that he paid it himself. Unfortunately I'm the sort of person who hates to upset others but this made my blood boil. I put the clock on a high shelf to stop it getting damaged. It was originally a wedding present to my great grandmother and I inherited it as my Grandmother only had sons and I was her eldest Granddaughter. I really need to man up (so to speak) and ask them to pay. Unfortunately being disabled from birth has left me rather timid...

Marvel1

If I broke something by accident and it's not mine, I would offer the money to repair withoutbeing asked.

Lily-Rose_3

I know I'm probably going to be in the minority here, but I wouldn't ask, and I don't think you are within your rights to. Just my opinion and I may be wrong...

You invite people into your house; that is the risk you take. If you know they are silly childish kids in men's bodies who are known to be daft and childish, why even ask them around, let alone when you know you have valuable items around?

Frankly if something is so valuable that the insurance won't cover it, I wouldn't have it on display when I have visitors around.

I'm not saying you asked for it or anything, but you should not have been shocked it happened, (if you know these men are eejits,) and I don't think you should be entitled to anything.

Then again, I'm no expert, and it's just my opinion. You may need to seek legal advice if you want payment. Not sure you would stand a chance in a court of law, as you invited them into your home. It's like if you left your car on a public car park and it got vandalised; whoever owns the car park will not take responsibility, and will often have a sign up saying 'cars parked here at your own risk.'

paddy's_mum

28 and 34? My life - I thought you were talking about teenage boys! (But maybe these infantile twerps are less adult than many actually teenage boys )

In your shoes, I would quite clearly and definitely asking £100 each from them towards the repair of the clock since you could have chosen for it to be properly insured so perhaps it's only fair that you too take on some of the cost.

I wish you well with your current health problems.

kimplus8

what 28 and 34 year old does this sort of crap and thinks its okay-
you may set to lose their friendship more than you set to gain the repair costs but I think you can and should ask for them to cover it between them.
you asked them not to throw things twice and they continued resulting in them breaking your property.
Its a question of what is reasonable IMO and they should reasonably cover all or at the least some of the cost even if its by instalments.

Laconic

Well, people that careful with your property don't need to be in the house. I'd be inclined to approach their mothers respectfully (as they didn't cause it), explain the situation and say that while you appreciate that they don't have much, it's only right that the miscreants give *something* towards the repair.

£25 off each for three months will come to £150, which isn't quite half, but should be noticeable from their JSA packets. More than three months and I doubt you'll see a penny as it'll be 'old' in their eyes.

I'd be meeting them in the pub or round theirs from this point on. As the saying goes 'it's the child with table manners who gets to eat with adults'.

tea_lover

Are you sure your standard contents insurance wouldn't cover it? I've never had to list anything under £500.