Bedroom problems

PeacefulWaters

Crikey, err confession time.

First relationship after a 20+ year virtually sexless marriage ended for me.

Very attractive lady.

Mr Droopy made an appearance to start with. We talked and laughed about it. The problem morphed into Mr KeepOnGoingForAsLongAsYouWantButThisWontClimaxThisSideOfChristmas.

My lady friend was quite happy with this! We talked, and laughed some more, and she reassured me she wasn't going anywhere. It was clearly a mind over matter thing on my part. It didn't take too long to resolve without involving a doctor.

Both were problems I didn't anticipate. Both went away in time.

Shame she dumped me a few months later!

Andrew_Ryan_89

Sex is like the biggest thing for a mans' ego so he will feel embarrassed, may try to avoid you and even break it off. When it doesn't work, usually it's down to anxiety. I think you should try relax him. Have a few days when you just chill in bed with each other, share a shower, get him naked and give him a massage. Do things so he feels relaxed around you. Before going into the full monty, concentrate on pleasing him first. And I mean for the first few sessions.

Try oral sex, "hand massage" and when he is sexually comfortable around you and, more importantly relaxed, then attempt full intercourse. He will probably finish way before you to start with, but be patient and don't make him feel inadequate. Initially fake it if it makes him feel better.

Hope this helps and good luck!

*Robin*

Is it 'normal' these days for fifty-somethings to expect sex on the second date?

..M'self, can't think of anything more likely to create problems in the "bedroom department"!

Why not get to know each other, see if you enjoy spending time together first - for months rather than weeks - then if the relationship has any value it will progress naturally (was going to write 'organically! ).

gettingtheresometime

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Sex is like the biggest thing for a mans' ego so he will feel embarrassed, may try to avoid you and even break it off. When it doesn't work, usually it's down to anxiety. I think you should try relax him. Have a few days when you just chill in bed with each other, share a shower, get him naked and give him a massage. Do things so he feels relaxed around you. Before going into the full monty, concentrate on pleasing him first. And I mean for the first few sessions.

Try oral sex, "hand massage" and when he is sexually comfortable around you and, more importantly relaxed, then attempt full intercourse. He will probably finish way before you to start with, but be patient and don't make him feel inadequate. Initially fake it if it makes him feel better.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Wow you may need the services of a wedding planner but you certainly don't need a sex therapist

PeacefulWaters

*Robin* wrote: »

Is it 'normal' these days for fifty-somethings to expect sex on the second date?

..M'self, can't think of anything more likely to create problems in the "bedroom department"!

Why not get to know each other, see if you enjoy spending time together first - for months rather than weeks - then if the relationship has any value it will progress naturally (was going to write 'organically! ).

Have you tried https://www.nineteenthcenturychaperonedating.com?

*Robin*

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Have you tried https://www.nineteenthcenturychaperonedating.com?

No. Perhaps you'd like to share your reasons for recommending it?

breaking_free

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Have you tried https://www.nineteenthcenturychaperonedating.com?

Brilliant ha ha! Made me click on a non-existent link. Almost as much of a 'doh!' moment as being Rick Rolled.

Ms_Chocaholic

You've only been on less than a handful of dates ... it sounds like this relationship is moving way too fast and it looks like he's desperate for a new place to stay as his landlord is selling up. I hope I'm wrong but that's the view I got from reading the OP.

Meg_x

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Crikey, err confession time.

First relationship after a 20+ year virtually sexless marriage ended for me.

Very attractive lady.

Mr Droopy made an appearance to start with. We talked and laughed about it. The problem morphed into Mr KeepOnGoingForAsLongAsYouWantButThisWontClimaxThisSideOfChristmas.

My lady friend was quite happy with this! We talked, and laughed some more, and she reassured me she wasn't going anywhere. It was clearly a mind over matter thing on my part. It didn't take too long to resolve without involving a doctor.

Both were problems I didn't anticipate. Both went away in time.

Shame she dumped me a few months later!

Thank you so much for making me laugh out loud.:rotfl:

breaking_free wrote: »

Brilliant ha ha! Made me click on a non-existent link. Almost as much of a 'doh!' moment as being Rick Rolled.

Me too! :D

MXW

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Sex is like the biggest thing for a mans' ego so he will feel embarrassed, may try to avoid you and even break it off. When it doesn't work, usually it's down to anxiety. I think you should try relax him. Have a few days when you just chill in bed with each other, share a shower, get him naked and give him a massage. Do things so he feels relaxed around you. Before going into the full monty, concentrate on pleasing him first. And I mean for the first few sessions.

Try oral sex, "hand massage" and when he is sexually comfortable around you and, more importantly relaxed, then attempt full intercourse. He will probably finish way before you to start with, but be patient and don't make him feel inadequate. Initially fake it if it makes him feel better.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Well.....an update. He text me a couple of times last night, very apologetic about spoiling everything. Said he had been stressed all day, and didn't realise meeting someone would be so stressful. Said he would ring me today.

Today, he text me to say he couldn't ring me, and possibly not tomorrow, but he would try (the reasons why aren't really important). I told him that was fine, as long as he wasn't trying to avoid me. Said if he wanted to end it, then he should, and not let it drag out.

He replied saying that he thought ending it was for the best. The he turned up on the day stressed, and he was upset with himself for that. Said it had made him realise that he wasn't ready for a full on relationship, and he was sorry that he had hurt me.

There were many texts going backwards and forwards (we were both at work). I said that I couldn't understand how he had been with me all day and all evening (meaning he was very tactile) holding my hand, arm around me, and sneaking a kiss), to the day after..... everything changes! Nobody is that good an actor! Even on the day he was planning, day trips we could go on!

All the rushing has been down to him, and I was carried away with his enthusiasm! As I told him, it's gone from 100 miles an hour, to zero overnight!

I will never understand men. It's just a shame it had to end this way.