Really in need of housing advice, please help

paddedjohn

chocolate.buttons wrote: »

Definitely worth chasing up the mental health team and informing them that you are pregnant (congrats btw!) as they should prioritise your case due to this.
Best of luck.

The world has indeed gone mad when someone is congratulating a kid for being pregnant, the OP may refer to herself as an adult but that isn't the case.

barbiedoll

Are you planning on continuing with the pregnancy? If so, get your GP to refer you to the midwife services at the hospital where you plan to give birth, there may be specialist midwife teams who will be able to help with your MH issues and your age/circumstances. At the hospital where I work, we have both a mental health team and a fantastically supportive Young Parents team, I believe that many hospitals offer similar schemes.

There is an early intervention service which is provided by the Health Visitors, they may be able to offer support and help, especially if you have urgent housing issues.

Why won't your grandmother allow you to stay with her? Would she be willing to let you stay if you both had more support? It would surely be preferable for you to have someone with you if you are going to continue with your pregnancy, looking after a baby (and yourself) alone, is going to be a huge challenge. And depending on where you live, getting decent, affordable housing is not going to be easy, you may find that you get moved a long way from your family network.

Get help as soon as you can, it is out there but you have to be very proactive to get it!

kimplus8

Housing wise you need to get to your local housing offices ASAP and apply for social housing, they will direct you as to how you can take this further. You are pregnant and have MH issues so they have a duty of care to help you. They may want confirmation from your mother/ grandmother that you are unable to stay with them and it wouldn't hurt to contact women's aid as they may have space at a local women's refuge for you.
Go back to your GP and confirm your pregnancy and get a referral to primary mental health services.
Lots of hugs, this must be a very scary time for you
I have bipolar and it's controlled now with meds but I have a good support network in place, you need this too so you can lower your risk of a relapse

guestman

you'll all moan and disagree with me now ... but I don't care.
an abortion is something you should consider at 17 , no home , no job? no partner .... no life at the time you should be living yours

kimplus8

guestman wrote: »

you'll all moan and disagree with me now ... but I don't care.
an abortion is something you should consider at 17 , no home , no job? no partner .... no life at the time you should be living yours

How incredibly insensitive to suggest this.
So no 17 year old, jobless and homeless woman can change their life for the better for their child???

Torry_Quine

paddedjohn wrote: »

The world has indeed gone mad when someone is congratulating a kid for being pregnant, the OP may refer to herself as an adult but that isn't the case.

The world hasn't gone mad at all. A pregnancy is to be congratulated.

guestman wrote: »

you'll all moan and disagree with me now ... but I don't care.

It's not for you to say what she should do and incredibly cruel and insensitive.

[Deleted User]

I think rather than telling the OP what she should do, she needs to be asked what she wants to do and all options discussed with her. Belittling her is not a successful strategy and not helpful.

Abortion is definitely not the only option also, if she should decide to not look after the child, although I suspect the OP does wish to.

But at the end of the day, its the OP's choice. Its not for us to brow beat her into our choice. We are not the OP, we don't know what she's capable of or any details of her life. She's posted on here, asking for help in a very clear, well written way. Not many people her age in her situation could do that.

Money_saving_maniac

deannatrois wrote: »

I think rather than telling the OP what she should do, she needs to be asked what she wants to do and all options discussed with her. Belittling her is not a successful strategy and not helpful.

Abortion is definitely not the only option also, if she should decide to not look after the child, although I suspect the OP does wish to.

But at the end of the day, its the OP's choice. Its not for us to brow beat her into our choice. We are not the OP, we don't know what she's capable of or any details of her life. She's posted on here, asking for help in a very clear, well written way. Not many people her age in her situation could do that.

I disagree with you that not many 17 year olds could post for help in a clear well written way. Most of them are literate.

I agree with you that the OP needs to give careful consideration to the options of abortion or adoption vs keeping the child.
Jobless, homeless and MH issues are not a great recipe for a teenage mum to have a happy life and have her next 20 years planned out. That's a hard row to hoe.
OP I'm sorry to say that you will be referred to social services, I suspect, whether you wish it or not, because of your MH issues. Just try to be positive with them because I think they often judge quite superficially.

kimplus8

Money_saving_maniac wrote: »

I disagree with you that not many 17 year olds could post for help in a clear well written way. Most of them are literate.

I agree with you that the OP needs to give careful consideration to the options of abortion or adoption vs keeping the child.
Jobless, homeless and MH issues are not a great recipe for a teenage mum to have a happy life and have her next 20 years planned out. That's a hard row to hoe.
OP I'm sorry to say that you will be referred to social services, I suspect, whether you wish it or not, because of your MH issues. Just try to be positive with them because I think they often judge quite superficially.

Speaking as someone that was in this position at 18 I can tell you I have never regretted keeping my daughter, I have dyslexia but I am by no means illiterate and have achieved a levels and a degree from Exon since having her. I went on to have more kids and didn't leave the guy until we had 7 children though which is the difference- the Op has quite sensibly left him and managed to make herself and her unborn child safe from his billing ways. That is admirable at the very least.
Bad relationship choices are not a reflection of a persons literacy.
I think others on this post have not managed to be a diplomatic in their responses as you so have gone with the '17, homeless and pregnant' she should get rid approach.

divadee

Can I just say the OP needs support and guidance not judgement from people on this board. What she chooses to do is up to her and it's not for anyone else to judge. Yes in an ideal world.... Blah blah blah. But who actually lives in an ideal world?

OP as I advised earlier get on to your GP this morning and get the ball rolling. There will be help available for all aspects of your life at the moment.