I want to stop drowning

debtaghh

They won't give us a mortgage big enough due to our debt. We just enquired last month. Good point about the Tesco. I want/need to clear the debt a lot quicker than 9-10 years so will need to def up my income. Childcare is an issue but will look into other ways to make money from home.

Do you think I should use some of the savings on debt? I was keeping it to cover everything for the next year.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

Thank you x



Thanks for your reply. Our daughter has no idea about our debt. I'll have a think and chat with my husband about the tutor.
I'm in a 12 month contract for the tumble dryer insurance but think it should end in Jan and I will not be renewing it. I will def change to sim only and I've just checked and mine can change to sim only next month which should reduce the total mobile bills by approx £15. The rent is the cheapest in our area and worry it may increase if we are made to move. The entertainment budget covers everything from school trips to hair cuts etc. The alarm is because it is linked that if it goes off we get a call etc but I think the co tract is due to end in oct and £300 is a lot. The present budget is an ongoing battle I have with myself, I just don't know what to do. I end up buying for so many ppl and it just adds up. I even tried saying no presents and ppl have made comments.

If your daughter is a teenager then she should be able to understand and may even learn from your mistakes. you don't have to tell her the amount.

Is there any reason you went for the alarm? Is it a high crime area? We don't have one but Cornwall is relatively low crime. I think £300 is a lot when you don't have it.

The entertainment figure is ok I think.

With presents i would stay strong and just say you cannot afford them. Does it matter if they make comments? Just ignore them as they don't sound supportive. Is this close family?

You can go sim only for about £5-£10 a month so that could be easily knocked down from £75.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

They won't give us a mortgage big enough due to our debt. We just enquired last month. Good point about the Tesco. I want/need to clear the debt a lot quicker than 9-10 years so will need to def up my income. Childcare is an issue but will look into other ways to make money from home.

Do you think I should use some of the savings on debt? I was keeping it to cover everything for the next year.

In your situation as you have most of your debt on 0% or low interest rates I wouldn't use the savings until maybe next summer when you have a lot of debt deals expiring. Having the savings probably aids your anxiety but I don't think you need to continue putting £50 aside for that although you could use it as a combined savings pot for annual bills and repaying cards as the deals expire.

Putting extra income towards the debt would help to bring the 9-10 years lower. Your family debt is not visible on your credit record so it is the £45k you need to clear before being considered for a mortgage. I think I would spend the next six months to a year really focussing on 2 of the credit cards, particularly the Tesco and the £3111 Barclaycard which you pay interest on. It will motivate you to clear 2 cards and £5611 is a target you could reach. Some of the others are a bit of a mountain.

debtaghh

I have tried talking to my daughter about expenses etc.

My husband works shifts so me and the kids are on our own a bit so we got the alarm for that reason as we put it on at night ( part of my anxiety issues).

I might try calling Vodafone earlier as sometimes if it is one month before they let me go on to sim only.

It's been family and friends that have been a bit funny and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I think I also spend too much on my teenager, I put a lot of pressure on myself as she seems to always compare to what others have. Plus we don't buy the kids anything during the year or give them pocket money so I tend to go over the top at Xmas . But after having a clear out a couple of weeks back I realised loads of things were still in their cellophane!

debtaghh

I try and focus on credit card debt as like you said mortgage companies can't see family debt.

The reason I wanted to clear the higher barclaycard was because it's £125 per month and I thought it was best to get rid of that one but see your point about the interest.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

I try and focus on credit card debt as like you said mortgage companies can't see family debt.

The reason I wanted to clear the higher barclaycard was because it's £125 per month and I thought it was best to get rid of that one but see your point about the interest.

The correct way to do it would be to target the £10750 and the £3111 Barclaycard first as you are paying £956 interest on that each year which is almost 2 months credit card repayments. The interest rates are lowish which is good but as the balances are high the interest paid is still high. I suggested the lower one as you could then redirect the payments on that to the larger one.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

I have tried talking to my daughter about expenses etc.

My husband works shifts so me and the kids are on our own a bit so we got the alarm for that reason as we put it on at night ( part of my anxiety issues).

I might try calling Vodafone earlier as sometimes if it is one month before they let me go on to sim only.

It's been family and friends that have been a bit funny and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I think I also spend too much on my teenager, I put a lot of pressure on myself as she seems to always compare to what others have. Plus we don't buy the kids anything during the year or give them pocket money so I tend to go over the top at Xmas . But after having a clear out a couple of weeks back I realised loads of things were still in their cellophane!

Giving your teenager pocket money gives her practice in managing money. We never went over the top at Christmas. 1 large present for each of our daughters (within budget) and a few stocking presents. We gave them pocket money and just bought them shoes and school uniform. All their entertainment came out of their pocket money so they learnt to manage money themselves. They both got weekend jobs at 16. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Buying expensive presents does not equate to happiness for them (or if so, it is short lived) and only gives you stress.

debtaghh

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

The correct way to do it would be to target the £10750 and the £3111 Barclaycard first as you are paying £956 interest on that each year which is almost 2 months credit card repayments. The interest rates are lowish which is good but as the balances are high the interest paid is still high. I suggested the lower one as you could then redirect the payments on that to the larger one.

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Giving your teenager pocket money gives her practice in managing money. We never went over the top at Christmas. 1 large present for each of our daughters (within budget) and a few stocking presents. We gave them pocket money and just bought them shoes and school uniform. All their entertainment came out of their pocket money so they learnt to manage money themselves. They both got weekend jobs at 16. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. Buying expensive presents does not equate to happiness for them (or if so, it is short lived) and only gives you stress.

Thanks, that is a lot of interest across the year still so will def focus on them more ( smaller one first). When I get back I will set myself goals e.g. What I want to clear by the end of the year and then by next June etc. I think upping my income will make a huge difference. I will have a think about pocket money, I have no clue how much to give and should it include makeup, going out, clothes? At the min we pay for essentials but any branded goods she uses Xmas and bday money we give her which is partly why we give her so much on these occasions. You're completely right about buying lots of presents, I need to work on this.

I've just called Vodafone and they have allowed me to go on sim only now, so am saving £13 a month and the other two can be changed next March.

pennywisepoundstupid

Regarding the tutor, do what you think is best for your daughter, If your daughter grades have improved with having a tutor, it may well be down to the teachers teaching style and your daughter finds it difficult to understand what she is being taught, there is actually 3 different ways in which we learn auditory,visual and kinesthetics, some people can learn all 3 ways others are/maybe stronger with one style, for example i'm very much a visual learner I have to do it to understand, if the teacher is teaching in a way which isn't to your daughters strength she could struggle to understand and this can be highly intelligent children that struggle just because of how they are being taught. I get tired of people blaming children for not understand something when it comes down to poor teaching methods and not taking time to understand how a child learns that is struggling, I have worked in education for many years and the amount of teachers that still do not seem to grasp this,it also may be due to confidence if she has fallen behind and feels she is stupid then maybe its low self esteem.

pennywisepoundstupid

Also mean't to add what ever route your daughter takes whether A levels or vocation courses, she will need 5 or above in her GCSEs in Maths and English or she will be made to resit by the school/college. My argument with my daughter was put the time and effort in now and it will save extra years of study in the long run as she will get on the course she wants and not have to take a lower grade course and take resits.