I want to stop drowning

enthusiasticsaver

Spendy_Spenderson wrote: »

Hi debtagh (*waves hello* in absence of knowing how to use these smileys)

I recently read through your diary from the beginning and now delurking to add my two pence worth. Firstly congratulations on the new job, that's fantastic and you should be really proud! I know it may not feel like a high wage for now but importantly it will be a regular income that you can reliably budget with. It's also a great opportunity to step back into the world of work and get some experience on the CV. This will help you when you're ready to move on to something else, or if you stay then you can work your way up learning new skills and grabbing hold of internal opportunities for progression that come your way.


Anyway, moving on to the current situation I am not sure I can actually offer much advice on the house issue. You need 3 beds as a minimum and if there really isn't anything for less money, or those that do exist are so far out that it will result in the same outgoings overall, then this leaves little choice. But one thing I have been thinking while reading through your diary is that there really is a significant difference between your incomings & outgoings, even more so since the minimum payments were increased on the credit cards and now this increase in rent. I would encourage you to do a *realistic* SOA with the new rent figure. This should be an accurate reflection of what you spend on each category each month. This will give the true picture of what that minus figure really is. If it's significant, which I unfortunately suspect it is, then I believe a lot of advice would urge you to consider a DMP.


As I said I have read your diary so I know how against this you are but that was for a specific reason - if you needed to rent again in the short term. You now know you do need to do this therefore you could try to negotiate a longer term in the new tenancy (ie 2 years with a 6 month break clause for protection) and once you are in this new property, can you look at applying for a DMP then? My understanding (someone correct me if wrong) is that your landlord or managing agent will not be told or informed if you go on a DMP. Your concern was that it would show up in a check and put you at a disadvantage property wise. But once you have your property you should not have to worry about this again for some time. And this may therefore be the opportunity to start this which should then allow you to actually afford all your outgoings and budget for food, entertainment etc and not constantly feel like it's just never enough, which is what I imagine it does feel like if every month you have a deficit of hundreds of pounds in what you'll bring in and what must be paid out. The stress and anxiety that causes you is not good. You budget really well and you try everything, but sometimes I just feel its a constant uphill battle and perhaps futile if the simple answer is you can never afford your outgoings.


As I say it's just my suggestion for managing what I see as a precarious situation in the longer term. I am not overly experienced in these things though so happy for those who might know better to correct me here. You have a lot of lovely dedicated supporters (yes I'm looking at you ES amongst others ) who are here to help you every step of the way.

Good luck with everything and I'll go back to cheering you on from the sidelines.

Spendy

Some good advice there Spendy. OP has looked into a DMP but a significant part of her debt is to family which is normally not allowed for when negotiating lower payments with creditors. Sometimes a self managed DMP is worth considering but there is no guarantee that the creditors would allow for the family debt monthly repayments. It is something which has been mentioned though.

debtaghh

Thanks. Half of my debt is family debt plus with renting around here , we could have to move again in 12 months which means we will have the same issue of having bad credit so an Iva and dmp are not viable options.

efes_shareholder

My understanding when i rented was that you were only checked for CCJ's on your file , nothing else
As long as your income meets the affordability / salary required there isnt usually a problem
I needed a gaurentor as my rent was £950 and my salary 20k so on paper I couldn't afford the rent

This may have changed - Are you not entitled to any housing benefit ?

debtaghh

The problem is where we live you have 5 families going for the same house, I don't want anything to jeopardise us not getting a house. I don't think we would be eligible to housing benefit as my sister isn't and she earns a lot less.

enthusiasticsaver

The situation with renting in your area is dreadful if you are going to have to move again in 12 months and are having to pay £1450 in rent for a 3 bed house each month. I am not sure how anyone would afford that and with your anxiety very stressful for you. Near us in a nice area on Devon and Cornwall border my DDs friend and Her family have moved to a lovely 3 bed for £700 a month.

Sometimes moving areas is the best but in the long term working towards it in a considered way is the best rather than rushing a decision so maybe look at this next year as preparing to move to a more sustainable solution. Moving every 12 months is unsettling and expensive. I think I would get the cheapest house you can in this area for now and you save/pay off as much debt as possible over next 12 months and you get some work experience in your new job because both of you earning is the only way you will get out of this. Then the next time you move you look to move as far out as possible and consider applying for new jobs in your new area which should be more affordable for you to live. It is hard but ultimately may make you happier. Use the next 12 months to research schooling, jobs and rents in your chosen new area. I know moving away from friends and family is hard and your anxiety may make this a step too far. You have to do what is right for you.

Dh and I moved from Surrey to Cornwall almost 30 years ago with 2 young DDs due to high housing costs (we owned though rather than rented). My husband was an engineer and managed to get a transfer from London are to Devon and Cornwall with the same company.i was in banking so could work anywhere. We had no family or friends down here but we gradually built up a new life and never regretted moving away from South East. I am not sure if that is where you are but I think in your position I would not want to keep doing this every year. It depends on your DH profession though as to whether it is possible to move jobs and maintain current level of salary. Even if the debt reduces buying in an expensive area will be outside your means.

Building up your admin experience in your new job is a definite must. At some point you might be able to apply for promotion, as Cumbria Lass says you will get 30 free hours childcare when your youngest is 3. Things will get better.

debtaghh

Thanks. The actual rent us £1300 but the extra council tax and car expenses make £1450. That is pretty much the cheapest half decent property in the area. We are hoping we won't have to move again within 12 months but you never know. I would love to move areas but it's just not feasible at the minute. My aim is to try and increase my hours next year but I can't do more than I going to do due to my mental health.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like a plan.

Maybe use the next month to have the whole family go through all your stuff and sell what is not needed or freecycle to make the moving of possessions as easy as possible. I usually find decluttering is good for making things seem clearer both in my head and physically.

When do you start your new job?

debtaghh

I'm not sure of a start day yet as I'm waiting on references etc but i'm hoping by the beg of June.

Spendy_Spenderson

I agree that moving regularly is unsettling and expensive. I would urge you to discuss putting in place a 2 year tenancy with the estate agents of your next rented property. It is common practice to have a break clause in there at either the 6 or 9 month point, which would allow you to give two months notice to move out in case you do decide to go further afield after researching another area. But the benefit of this longer duration is that you won't have to renegotiate the agreement again in 12 months time, which would mean further admin fees from the estate agents and the possibility of rent increasing. Not to mention lots more stress and anxiety. Getting a 2 year tenancy should hopefully provide you with a feeling of more security.

Note that it's not just in the renter's interest, the landlord gets to avoid the additional fees from the estate agent that they get charged when a tenancy needs renewing, and it also provides them with some level of security too. I have recently rented out my flat in outskirts of SE London and was encouraged to consider this 2 year tenancy and was happy to do so as it makes sense all round.

debtaghh

Hi, we have asked for a two year one with a 12 months break clause.