I want to stop drowning

WannabeFree

I echo ES

I'm not sure what else to say, but remember you aren't alone and please seek help if you need it

x

sweetpea26

Hi D

I always watch out for your posts...don't stop posting, as it helps keep you on track and accountable. It may seem negative to you at times but when you read it back in black and white, its necessary for you to see the reality of it all. You have made great progress. Of course your debt journey is affecting you, as it has for every single person who has been in debt. Debt robs of you joy and the guilt of it all takes its toll.

Dust yourself down and be thankful that you faced up to this. Keep applying for jobs. The old saying what is meant for you will not pass you is very apt.

Don't let it overwhelm you. use it to make you more determined to beat it.

Enjoy the precious things that don't cost any money. My children are now all in their 20's I would give anything to feel a little pair of arms wrapped around my neck.

You can beat this debt and at the end of it you will never put yourself through what you are experiencing at present.

Take care of yourself. God bless

debtaghh

Hi,

Thank you for all your lovely comments. I have started therapy for my mental health issues. I worry and stress a lot in general ontop of the money. My dad has lent me some more money to have in my savings as I was panicking that I didn't have enough for everything this year. I need to update my signature. This is how my brain works I panic thinking I need x amount for the year. I have already worked out what I need for car repairs, tv licence, presents, spending money etc and if I don't see it in the account I get stressed and depressed. It's like I can't cope with it. My therapist knows about the debt and I am hoping she can help as I know it's not helping me being like this. Even with my dad lending me the extra money I've still cleared at least 4K since October which is what I'm going to focus on.

I know others have said it before but I really need to not look at the whole debt.

This month has been an absolute disaster financially. I've spent £550 on food and toiletries. I have included everything creams, shampoo, cleaning products, Easter eggs and treats etc. I've spent a fortune everywhere , Ds needed shoes, dd has her ball coming up and needed an outfit , a member of family passed away so we bought flowers. I've had family stay over for a few nights.

Looking forward:

Watch the food budget carefully- think before buying biscuits, croissants etc.
Set some entertainment budget but don't go over it.
Set monthly targets of debt clearing.

Positives:

I have cleared 4K debt
Dh is due quite a bit of overtime for April and May.
I have three more days of work booked in for the next month.

Sorry for my ramblings. I'm going to try and be positive and focus more on the debt. I will try and write on here as it does keep me more focused as I also get embarrassed if I have to own up on here.

Have a lovely Easter.

debtaghh

Morning,

I have been really thinking about what stresses me out and one of the big issues is knowing whether I should save for certain things that I mentioned in my previous post or clear extra debt. I tried doing both but I just feel like I don't get anywhere doing this. I feel by doing this I clear a bit e.g £20 but with our debt that doesn't feel like a decent amount. I'm not sure whether I should just pay the minimums and focus on saving.

I'm not sure if we def need to move right now as our landlord has potentially changed their mind!

It just feels like money is never enough. We pay 1k towards debt every month!

enthusiasticsaver

I think what is stressing you out is the precariousness of your situation with insecure housing and high debt. That would stress me out and I don't suffer with anxiety. It would stress anyone out. I am glad you have got some therapy but the biggest changes have to come from you and your OH and you are tackling it. £1k to debt every month and clearing £4K since October is great.

It would be good if the move does not go ahead as it is expensive to move and you haven't found anywhere. I think it needs to be a balance of saving and debt busting. Read storms diary. She is taking the scenic route but has very definite debt reduction amounts. Her debt is much lower than yours but she allocates a certain amount to debt and saves too. Now you actually put more to your debt each month but of course as the figure is higher it takes longer to come down. I think given your anxiety I would continue with the £1k per month for the next 3 months and save all the extra. If you don't move then use some of the savings to reduce or clear your most expensive debt or the one which is going to expire first.

enthusiasticsaver

debtaghh wrote: »

Morning,

I have been really thinking about what stresses me out and one of the big issues is knowing whether I should save for certain things that I mentioned in my previous post or clear extra debt. I tried doing both but I just feel like I don't get anywhere doing this. I feel by doing this I clear a bit e.g £20 but with our debt that doesn't feel like a decent amount. I'm not sure whether I should just pay the minimums and focus on saving.

Don't look at the overall debt and target specific debts like xspender.

enthusiasticsaver

Can I also make a suggestion re managing your debt and anxiety. Each month at the beginning or end either do an soa or a list of the debts and current balances. I know you have a spreadsheet but I wonder if you are looking at that too much and increasing your anxiety. Take the debt busting month by month and just aim to live within budget, reduce debt by £1k and save what is left. Maybe look at your expenditure one day a week and budget week by week but in between try not to think about it too much. You do have a problem with limited income and high debt costs but you are obviously just about coping so it is doable and if you continue this way one day it will get easier.

Good to see you posting again though.

debtaghh

Thank you so much for all your advice. I do look at my spreadsheets far too much. Doing a weekly budget sounds like a great idea and more manageable and I can't believe I didn't think of it.

We really hope we don't have to move as we know it will end up costing us a lot with the actual move plus other increased monthly costs.

I will set an £80 food budget for this week.

I forgot to mention that I won £75 the other day on a charity raffle. I also have sold some bits that I listed on eBay.... £20 all adds up! ( I'm putting the £75 in a pot for the summer holidays).

Storm89

Hi debtagh I just checked in to see how you were doing. I do read your diary occasionally and was wondering how you were getting on. I know I can't compare my situation to yours but I was in a similar one last year where our income was a lot lower and it seemed like a never ending road. Just keep on with applying for jobs as I think that will be your saving grace in terms of being able to both save and pay off debt at a higher rate. In the meantime , you have done so well to have cleared £4k since October, amazingly well and you've come so far from the start of your diary in your mindset. I also like the idea of focussing on the free things. Kids grow up so quickly & before you know it they'll be off to uni or into work. Looking at finances weekly is a really good idea. Set a target each week and then start again the next week. We put £25 of petrol in every Sunday and our food budget is £300 a month . So in a 4 week month I'll have £75 the first week but if i come under it goes onto next weeks and if I go over it comes off next weeks if that makes sense. It's a slow process and sometimes you just think come on I'm not seeing any results here !! But then when you list balances at the end of the month you can see how far you've come.

debtaghh

Thanks storm.

I really like the weekly idea as having it as a monthly I find it hard to monitor. I used to cash the money out so I might try that again, that way like you said if one week I have spare I can put it towards the following week.