Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

SpekySquarehead

No need to apologise. We're all here to help if we can so it's good to be honest and open in such an anonymous forum.

Bobarella

Just popping in to say hello and see how your day was today?

crazy_cat_lady

Hi all :hello:
Sorry to dive in with more general misery but I'm not feeling much better. Work is tiring, I'm exhausted and I always seem to have something going on... I get too tired to do anything so when I stop I'm literally falling asleep. As I said though, I will get through it - just need to keep going and not let things get the better of me.
My Year 10 class were awful today. I can put up with poor behaviour from one or two of the badly behaved kids but when there are 11 or 12 in a class it gets quite difficult. I ended up having to get the Head to help me today after a lovely child threw his book at me. I probably could have managed it if my mood wasn't so low already but it just about finished me off. Who knows what will happen next but I'm really hoping he gets into some trouble for it. The Head took him away but I haven't heard anything since. I'm still finding it a bit of a struggle to make myself get up in the morning and go to work but I will get through it. I can't believe I'm only 3 weeks in and this run down.
Trouble we have is that there is a shortage of science teachers, full stop. There's even more of a shortage of good science teachers. So those of us that are valued are being given lots of teaching of key groups and then we have to pick up behaviour and achievement in other classes as well. We need 8 in our department to make it run smoothly - at the moment we have 3 full time members of staff, 2 part time members of staff, 1 long term supply and someone due to go on maternity leave soon. As a result we have massive classes and really full teaching timetables. This has been an ongoing problem for the last 5 years at least - you can get more money being a good scientist out of education... It's frustrating, but a way bigger problem than our school. Government recruitment and retention of teachers at an all time low - with no pay rise for years, massive workload and more than 50% of all teachers leaving the profession in the first 5 years. Not pleasant to be in, but ultimately the good outweighs the bad - plus I'm a bit too old to get on and find something else to do now.
As always, I'm just keeping on keeping on and hoping that I start to feel a bit better soon.

crazy_cat_lady

Hi all :hello:
Thought I should check in even though I really don't have much to report or say. I've had a relaxing, and non work related weekend, although I am now starting to fret a bit about going back tomorrow. I keep telling myself that it's just too much change for me at once and that's why I'm struggling but I really hope that I start to feel a bit better soon. I've done quite a bit of napping and sleeping, a bit of eating and food planning for next week, plus I've done a load of crochet as well. Blanket almost finished so I want to keep going now until it's done.
The Head came to see me on Friday as he's a bit worried about me and we're due our observations over the next fortnight. He's very kindly pushed me to the back of the list to give me time to try and pull myself round a bit. I wish I didn't feel so rubbish with work - I have no reason to at all because overall things are fine - but I genuinely can't help it.
In other news, I've restarted my tutoring. My tutee is doing A-levels in science and is keen to have me back to help him. It was nice to see him today after the summer off, and I'm really enjoying the A-level stuff as well.
Then went with the kids to see my mam and have a bit of a catch up. She thinks I need a good night out - I just think I need a good night's sleep.

SpekySquarehead

Well if you're anything like me, a good night out is usually followed by a good night sleep.

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all :hello:
Just another quick check in because I'm really more busy than I can manage at the moment. Good news is that my little bit of misery seems to have done one for the moment and I'm feeling much more like my old self again. Don't know what did it, I just woke up yesterday with a much clearer head and feeling ok. Still hate my new classroom, and still not in love with many of my new classes, and also still no end in sight to our recruitment and retention issue, but I just feel ok again. Mood is a very strange thing indeed - must have managed to produce some more dopamine or serotonin or whatever in my brain...
I'm still not sleeping though - averaging about 5 hours a night, and anxiety is very high, but manageable. Lots of work to do in and out of school so lots going round in my head.
Anyway - I'd best get on. I have some prep to do for tomorrow's lessons.

juliejim

Pleased to hear you're feeling bit brighter and great news on the windows.

SpekySquarehead

CCL - I drove past a car today which had a sticker in the back window saying "Crazy Cat Lady On Board". Don't suppose you're in Glasgow?

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :hello:
Time for a bit of a catch up. Not that there's anything to report really. Still feeling a lot better mentally, but work is massively busy. I only get 4 frees a week and was required for other stuff for 3 of them. Plus I have my observation next week with one of my more challenging classes so I've been all over the place with worrying about that. At least it'll be over with until Tuesday (unless I fail miserably and then it'll have to be redone). Things have settled a bit - I still hate my new classroom and the staffing issues are still a huge problem but I don't feel as awful about it all as I did. Mood is such a strange thing... nothing has really changed, even my sleep is still terrible, but I just feel ok now - not awful.
Other than work - I haven't gotten much else done. I'm really tired so not that productive. Just the basics of housework, food etc. I've done a bit of crochet as I have lots to finish before Christmas but other than that all quiet. I feel as though I'm letting the side down a bit on the money saving front as I keep getting money out of the bank every day to pay for the windows...

crazy_cat_lady

SpekySquarehead wrote: »

CCL - I drove past a car today which had a sticker in the back window saying "Crazy Cat Lady On Board". Don't suppose you're in Glasgow?

I wish I was in Scotland - I love it up there. I need one of those stickers though
I'm in Sunderland, which is close enough to Scotland for a holiday.