Organising a Funeral Help!

Mrs_Optimist

A relative is looking into a David Bowie type funeral as he isn't religious and doesnt want the full package. Not sure how to go about it, but basically when he dies, he wants to be cremated as soon as possible afterwards with no embalment, service, cars, flowers etc. Has anyone heard of this being possible in the UK.?

When he discovered the cost of the most basic funeral, it nearly finished him off early !

Yorkshireman99

Yes it is. A number of companies offer such a service. It includes cremation. Cost is around £1200. Googling no frills funeral will give you more details.

Mojisola

Mrs_Optimist wrote: »

he wants to be cremated as soon as possible afterwards with no embalment, service, cars, flowers etc. Has anyone heard of this being possible in the UK.?

A lot of FDs call this a 'direct cremation'.

p00hsticks

Having recently been involved in my mother in laws funeral, I'll add my support to those saying go to a funeral director. Im my experience they'll make sure everything you want is covered but won't do a hard sell to push you into things you don't want . We went with the cheapest coffin, no mourners cars, a simple service, with a notice in the paper and one set of flowers for the coffin.

As others have pointed out, much of the cost is fees that you can't really avoid by doing yourself - there are cremation or burial fees, an additonal medical certificate needed for cremation, there may be a need for the body to be embalmed, a fee for the cleric if you want any sort of service etc, the cost of a shroud or coffin etc etc.

A funeral director knows their way around all of this - when you're grieving, I think it's worth paying a bit for their expertise. You can then concentrate on arranging and catering for any sort of after service "get together" you may want.

Make-it-3

Thanks everyone for their input. I'm just waiting for my family to get their heads round some of the decisions that need to be made.

Having to research what is involved in organising a funeral has been very enlightening. I had never heard of direct cremation until now.

I think it makes a lot of sense in many ways, I think I may alter my Will to include an option for family to opt for a direct cremation if they prefer.

Yorkshireman99

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for their input. I'm just waiting for my family to get their heads round some of the decisions that need to be made.

Having to research what is involved in organising a funeral has been very enlightening. I had never heard of direct cremation until now.

I think it makes a lot of sense in many ways, I think I may alter my Will to include an option for family to opt for a direct cremation if they prefer.

I have told my main heir that this is what I want but she, and her family, feel that they want to give me a good send off. I have tried to explain that I shall be past caring! I have also pointed out that every extra penny they spend will be one less for them but they say it will be better for them. I have told them it would be better for them to go out for a slap up meal with a few close friends of mine using the money saved from having a lavish funeral. I hope I have convinced them!

chesky

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

I have told my main heir that this is what I want but she, and her family, feel that they want to give me a good send off. I have tried to explain that I shall be past caring! I have also pointed out that every extra penny they spend will be one less for them but they say it will be better for them. I have told them it would be better for them go out for a slap up meal with a few close friends of mine using the money saved from having a lavish funeral. I hope I have convinced them!

I feel exactly the same and have warned my family that if they go against my wishes, I'll be back to haunt them.

Happy_One

We recently organised my mother in laws 'send off' I knew very little about arranging a funeral so did some homework on the iPad. I found a company who did the same kind of send off that David Bowie had a direct cremation,they were amazing and did everything for us and the total cost was just over £1000 We had a very special day in our own home for the very few mourners,m in l was 96 so very few friends to attend! I filled every vase in the house with white flowers her favourites and served everyone with her favourite cream cakes. It was a day to remember and I do not feel I did not give the old dear a very good and personal send off
I do have the name of the company but not sure If I am allowed to post it on here. All I can say is that they treated us with kindness and care and made us feel as if we were very important.

Mojisola

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

I have told my main heir that this is what I want but she, and her family, feel that they want to give me a good send off.

I have tried to explain that I shall be past caring!

I have also pointed out that every extra penny they spend will be one less for them but they say it will be better for them.

The funeral is for those left behind rather than the deceased.

We didn't have lavish funerals for Mum and Dad but family and friends did want to say their goodbyes and the funeral provided that opportunity.

We had a good social do afterwards so that everyone was able to share memories and catch up on everyone's news.

p00hsticks

chesky wrote: »

I feel exactly the same and have warned my family that if they go against my wishes, I'll be back to haunt them.

Personally, I agree with Mojisola and Yorkshireman999- funerals are for the bereaved, not the deceased, and I shall be past caring when it comes to mine.

I have therefore made it clear to my next of kin (and will include it when I next revisit my will) that I have no preference as to what sort of send off I am given (if any) it should be is whatever those left behind feel will give them the most comfort, whether that is a service, a direct cremation or just a party down the pub.