Taking a holiday without the kids

Newly_retired

I think it is a great opportunity to do something with your six yr old, whose needs and interests must be very different from the older ones' needs.
She will enjoy having you all to herself. Or maybe you could go somewhere where her special interests are catered for in a way which leaves you two a few hours a day to do your own thing too.

Izadora

As they're quite different ages, would it make sense to take your daughter on a holiday that's aimed more at her age group? That way the older two will be glad not to have been dragged along and she gets a holiday that she'll love.

pollyanna24

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Hi thanks for the replies.

I remarried in 2010, so the 6 year old is not their grandchild. Our 6 year olds grandparents can barely tolerate an a few hours with her, they wouldn't dream of taking her anywhere despite being retired and wealthy. Saying that I do appreciate our youngest is somewhat spirited and they are in their 60s.


So it falls to us really, I suppose whatever decision I make its going to seem unfair on one party.


Its a good idea to play down our own holiday, maybe just have a mooch over to France or something not as "fun" as a waterpark in Crete where their grandma is taking them.


The joys of "broken" families

Why do you say whatever decision you make it will be unfair to one party?

If you take your 6 year old away for a week while the older two are away, you are all getting the same amount of holidays. How is this "unfair"? Not that I buy into the whole stomping of feet and it's not fair arguments anyway. It's life. They have to deal with it.

DigForVictory

Dig out the holiday brochures aimed at "the young family"? Where you can turn a 6 year old loose in peace of mind & meet up at lunchtime when she's had a riding lesson, or gone canoeing, or tried archery - I'm think Center Parcs offer this sort of thing & not exclusively in the UK?

Then as the older children are getting up to whatever with grandparents, you can all do something else again & have loads of fun too, that having teenagers would interfere with.

Is the young lady given to art galleries, museums, plays or operas at all? Or have you just never managed to get everyone lined up & pointed in the same direction (I certainly haven't)? Here's a splendid chance to try out assorted cultural opportunities without a full chorus of grouch - plus if gently briefed that this is by way of a grown up thing, so pretty frocks will be worn & everyone will listen quietly, she may fall for Opera with a massive thud.
At which point you now have a new escape from The Whole Family, of "Just Daughter & I" going out on the cultural razzle. Although, fair play, Dad gets to go out too (if interested) while remaining parent stays home & orders in pizza (or other takeaway) with the teens.

Culture for the Whole Family is often best managed in at least two parties, one of whom is at a fixed address for bail purposes. As one of our godparents put it, feelingly.

Consult your 6 year old - what would she like to do? Then negotiate a destination & look up both early booking & last minute theatre etc ticket arrangements.

Have a wonderful, guilt free time. Or at least a wonderful time & come *back* to the guilt.

mikeeboy

If you were leaving the kids behind with a babysitter I can understand the question.

The fact that they are already on holiday themselves, I don't see the issue, unless the holiday you go on is 'better' than the one they'll be on.

maman

DigForVictory wrote: »

Dig out the holiday brochures aimed at "the young family"? Where you can turn a 6 year old loose in peace of mind & meet up at lunchtime when she's had a riding lesson, or gone canoeing, or tried archery - I'm think Center Parcs offer this sort of thing & not exclusively in the UK?

Then as the older children are getting up to whatever with grandparents, you can all do something else again & have loads of fun too, that having teenagers would interfere with.

Is the young lady given to art galleries, museums, plays or operas at all? Or have you just never managed to get everyone lined up & pointed in the same direction (I certainly haven't)? Here's a splendid chance to try out assorted cultural opportunities without a full chorus of grouch - plus if gently briefed that this is by way of a grown up thing, so pretty frocks will be worn & everyone will listen quietly, she may fall for Opera with a massive thud.
At which point you now have a new escape from The Whole Family, of "Just Daughter & I" going out on the cultural razzle. Although, fair play, Dad gets to go out too (if interested) while remaining parent stays home & orders in pizza (or other takeaway) with the teens.

Culture for the Whole Family is often best managed in at least two parties, one of whom is at a fixed address for bail purposes. As one of our godparents put it, feelingly.

Consult your 6 year old - what would she like to do? Then negotiate a destination & look up both early booking & last minute theatre etc ticket arrangements.

Have a wonderful, guilt free time. Or at least a wonderful time & come *back* to the guilt.

I understand the idea of having a holiday geared up for a 6 year old which the teenagers might find juvenile. That would help balance out any feelings that the 'other' holiday was preferable.


You've lost me on the opera/galleries? Which 'young lady' do you mean? Is this the one that's such a handful and so boisterous that the grandparents can only manage her in small doses? Perhaps all you mean is that families don't have to do everything together all the time??

Pennysmakepounds

Nothing wrong with having a holiday without the kids, especially if they are getting one with the Grandparents.

I’ve left my youngest with grandparents before and taken the older ones – He was too young to remember, even though we sometimes tease him now that we deserted him and had a great time without a winging baby…lol

I see nothing wrong with leaving older kids behind. Once my youngest get over 12/13 (Oldest will be 18/19ish). I have no quorums about going without them for a weekend break with the Mrs or even a week. We all need ME time now and again .

Infect I’m pretty sure they won’t even want to come on family holidays once they get into their late teens, they will want to do their own thing.

ska_lover

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Next year our childrens Grandma (my ex in-laws) is taking DD (15) and DS (13) to Crete for 10 nights during summer holidays.


That leaves me, my husband and our youngest who will be 6. We are thinking of booking just the three of us to go away at the same time, but I'm a bit 50/50 how I feel about it. Our kids get a holiday in the UK every year, sometimes two, and we will be having a week in the South of England with them in April. This year they are having two weeks in Corfu with us.


Me and my husband have never had as much as a weekend away without the kids, I think this is as close as we'll ever get - is it wrong to take a holiday and exclude them?


I keep having my finger on the "book now" button but I've got nagging doubts

No it is not wrong, do it- you deserve a life too!

Detroit

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't understand the problem.

The two older kids are having a holiday.

Their parents and younger sibling are having a holiday.

Who is being excluded?

I read this as the OP wanting a holiday with her husband but without the 6 year old.
If they take the 6 year old on holiday, no one loses out. But I didn't think that was what OP was asking about?

theoretica

Detroit wrote: »

I read this as the OP wanting a holiday with her husband but without the 6 year old.
If they take the 6 year old on holiday, no one loses out. But I didn't think that was what OP was asking about?

I think it is - from the first post:

MortgageMamma wrote: »

That leaves me, my husband and our youngest who will be 6. We are thinking of booking just the three of us to go away at the same time,