Taking a holiday without the kids

MortgageMamma

Next year our childrens Grandma (my ex in-laws) is taking DD (15) and DS (13) to Crete for 10 nights during summer holidays.


That leaves me, my husband and our youngest who will be 6. We are thinking of booking just the three of us to go away at the same time, but I'm a bit 50/50 how I feel about it. Our kids get a holiday in the UK every year, sometimes two, and we will be having a week in the South of England with them in April. This year they are having two weeks in Corfu with us.


Me and my husband have never had as much as a weekend away without the kids, I think this is as close as we'll ever get - is it wrong to take a holiday and exclude them?


I keep having my finger on the "book now" button but I've got nagging doubts

theoretica

At 15 and 13 you probably ought to think about how you will explain it to them. I think it perfectly reasonable to also have a holiday while they are away, but it might be tactical to make it a little shorter or less special sounding than theirs. Would it be fair for them to have a holiday and not the 6 year old?

Detroit

Not wrong no, but it might feel a bit unfair to your 6 year old when everyone else in the family has an extra holiday.

It might already feel unfair that the two older ones get a holiday with the grandparents that they are excluded from, and this may make it worse.

It's a shame, because the real unfairness seems to be the 6 year old missing out on Crete. Are they not this child's grandparents?

If they're not, could you get his or her own grandparents to do something with them over the holidays to make it feel a bit fairer?

Otherwise could you book for you and your husband at a time when your kids aren't having unequal numbers of holidays?

dcoke

I say go for it!

Just tell the 13 + 15 year old your doing it to make up for the 6 yr old not getting to go to Crete.

MortgageMamma

Hi thanks for the replies.

I remarried in 2010, so the 6 year old is not their grandchild. Our 6 year olds grandparents can barely tolerate an a few hours with her, they wouldn't dream of taking her anywhere despite being retired and wealthy. Saying that I do appreciate our youngest is somewhat spirited and they are in their 60s.


So it falls to us really, I suppose whatever decision I make its going to seem unfair on one party.


Its a good idea to play down our own holiday, maybe just have a mooch over to France or something not as "fun" as a waterpark in Crete where their grandma is taking them.


The joys of "broken" families

peachyprice

Your older children are getting a great holiday with their grandparents, I really can't see the problem with you giving your 6yo a great holiday too, no need IMO to play it down or make it less special.

Would your older children really resent the fact that their little sister is going to get a great holiday with you while they're having a great time themselves?

piglet74

Can you all not go to Crete at the same time?

LABMAN

piglet74 wrote: »

Can you all not go to Crete at the same time?

Is the first thing I thought of!

Rain_Shadow

piglet74 wrote: »

Can you all not go to Crete at the same time?

That is the last thing I'd consider.


Grandparents will feel you are muscling in on 'their' holiday with their grandchildren. You won't get a holiday away from the two children and will undoubtedly feel some obligation to 'parent' etc etc.


Don't even think about it. Book a nice holiday somewhere else with your 6 year old and enjoy that.

fairy_lights

I can relate to your six year old in this scenario! I also have an older brother and sister from my mothers first marriage who got to go on lots of lovely holidays with their fathers side of the family. They got to go on road trips to the south of France, visited relatives in California, lounged on beaches in Italy...while I stayed at home like Cinderella helping our mum spring clean the house.
Believe me, a day trip to the local zoo isn't much consolation when your siblings are at Disneyland.

At 15 and 13 your older children are old enough to understand why you'd go on holiday without them, so if you've got the time and they money why not have an exciting holiday somewhere with your 6 year old?

Mojisola

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Next year our childrens Grandma (my ex in-laws) is taking DD (15) and DS (13) to Crete for 10 nights during summer holidays.

That leaves me, my husband and our youngest who will be 6. We are thinking of booking just the three of us to go away at the same time, but I'm a bit 50/50 how I feel about it.

is it wrong to take a holiday and exclude them?

I don't understand the problem.

The two older kids are having a holiday.

Their parents and younger sibling are having a holiday.

Who is being excluded?