Tenancy in common with paranoid schizophrenic

Pixie5740

Some friend you are. Your friend whom you've known for years, well enough to buy a property with, and you're ready to drop him like a hot potato due to one episode of mental illness. Now you're talking about not paying the mortgage and letting the property be repossessed, I'm sure that will help your friend's mental wellbeing. Not to mention that letting a mortgage build up so much in arrears that it is eventually repossessed will make it very difficult for either of you to a) buy another property in the future, and b) you can forget getting any sort of credit for the following 6 years.

dancingfairy

Hi, what exactly is the problem?
1) you feel because you live in the house you feel responsible/ feel like you need to provide counselling/ a listenibg ear and don't want the responsibility?
2) you feel threatened/ unsafe?
3) you have suddenly decided after 6 months you want to sell?
Perhaps you could get a lock on your bedroom door? Perhaps you could move out and he could rent your half from you?
Selling after 6 months is likely to mean you loose money with all the fees etc and, of course you both have to agree. If you feel you can't live there right now is he able to pay you rent for your share and you rent somewhere for say 6 months and review when things are calmer?
Df

DigForVictory

It's very easy to be judgmental online, so I do urge a little kindliness.

This was entered into friendly & hopeful, and has lurched.

It is asking an awful lot of someone to sit tight & see what happens when the newspapers (& thus internet) are full of terrifying tales which accurately depict reality not at all. Yes, paranoid schizophrenia sounds utterly hair-raising, until you meet one who has been taking their pills & quietly getting on with things for decades. Rather than call a helpline for reassurance, call them & ask for introductions - both to a patient & to a support group.

Plus, as the medication starts, there will be underdoses & overdoses which will make them a bit worrying as a housemate and everyone will rush to the conclusion that as you share a house, you have some kind of responsibility. To the house - get good insurance & see how you go. To your friend - give the poor soul a chance (both OP & friend!)

There are things you can do to help - like read Martin's manual for money & mental health so you have an idea of what tools there are to help your friend keep up his side of the mortgage.

Even if you ultimately decide that you really can't cope, keep in touch, in person. We've a schizophrenic godfather & we're the only folk who are still visiting decades after his diagnosis. We're not saints, we liked him as a friend then & he's still there now, just submerged under the meds several hours a day.

"It is during the worst storms of your life that you will get to see the true colours of the people who say they care about you".
It is not quite the opportunity you were looking for, but do what you can?
All the best!

cloo

I understand the OP's disquiet, but I also join in saying that, once medicated, many people with this sort of disorder go on to live normal lives. Like DigforVictory says, medication for mental illnesses can be something of a trial and error situation in early days of diagnosis as everyone is different, so it is possible there will be other episodes, but again they can be controlled once more is known.


I think you may have to put your friend ahead of your worries - if the situation is fragile (and, as has been said, could be a total one-off) having to deal with you selling up etc would really not be what he needs now. Speak to mental health charities, get advice on living with someone who may have a condition and take it a day at a time.

moneyistooshorttomention

I understand your concern - but would be wondering if a diagnosis like that would have been made some time ago if that is what is the problem. Thirty-three years seems some time to go through Life without being diagnosed with this and then get that diagnosis out of the blue.

In your position - I'd be playing a waiting game to see just why this had never been diagnosed in 33 years to date and giving "benefit of doubt" as to whether the doctor did (or didnt) know what was what in that respect.

My reading around this sort of thing to date (limited admittedly) boils down to "First check and see if there is a physical health problem that is causing this" - as that does sometimes seem to be the case.

Right now - I'm fresh from having seen an elderly person mis-diagnosed for a physical health problem. It wasnt at all. They were told its arthritis - but, in actual fact, it's turned out to be a fracture from a fall. I was certainly feeling a bit suspicious just how something like arthritis could have apparently turned up totally out of the blue - but then they are in "that" agegroup.

So - it may be that this is a mis-diagnosis.

Hence - for right now - bide your time and wait and see if it really IS schizophrenia. As it might be some temporary problem down to some temporary physical body issue.

Cakeguts

The latest information is that schizophrenia is a genetic disorder that is triggered by the brain pruning connections in puberty. So this friend will have had schizophrenia since their late teens. The GP is not in a position to diagnose paranoid schizophrenia. Because of the latest information about the cause as I understand it the care of schizophrenia as a genetic disorder will be transferred to the care of neurologists rather than psychiatrists. However the study that proved schizophrenia is a genetic disorder was very recent and so I don't think that the medicine and care has caught up yet.

How the friend has been managing their illness for all these years is something to be admired. Obviously something has changed in their life. Do not believe what is written in the papers about people with schizophrenia. People who suffer from serious mental illnesses need our help. They have a lot to put up with. They get a lot of discrimination especially when it comes to jobs. Having a mental illness does not make someone stupid. People with schizophrenia are more of a danger to themselves than they are to other people.

I don't want to make anyone feel guilty but I usually recommend that someone with a mental illness is not treated differently to someone with a physical illness so if you wouldn't force someone to sell half of their house because they had been diagnosed with cancer you shouldn't do it if they have been diagnosed with a mental illness.

With medication someone with a mental illness can have a normal life.

[Deleted User]

Years ago I lived in a HMO.., became friends with one of the other girls living there. We used to bring each other cups of tea in the morning. One day I talked about diabetes and hypo's. She asked me if I could be violent when hypo. I hasten to add, she'd never seen me hypo, the diabetes in those days was well controlled.

I didn't really take her seriously and said well i suppose its a possibility but not a situation I'd ever been in.

She never brought me another tea, we never talked again.

I appreciate she was scared, but she didn't bother to assess who I was, how I cared for my diabetes, how likely even a hypo was, let alone me getting violent and a friendship was down the tubes.

Do a risk assessment. Is there a likelihood of harm to you? Is the person responsible enough to take medication? Seems like it to me. Then as mentioned, how sure are you of this diagnosis. Could it be down to something else?

I wonder what is making you react in this extreme way? You haven't slept there since? Why? Did your mate harm you? We humans can find mental illness quite scary, I don't know why. Is this an over reaction?

I'm not asking you why you are reacting to attribute blame..,just to get you to think about how reality based your reaction is. You don't want to talk about forcing a sale of the house without there being a genuine reason to do so.., rather than a reaction you might get over once you rationalise it.

Waterlily24

That's awful deannatrois, I usually just say stupid things when I'm hypo and never I've been violent.

hazyjo

There was a boy at my school diagnosed with that or something similar - they eventually found a brain tumour. Not saying it is, just that there's often another reason (as others have said) when something like this happens - especially this late in life. Would usually have been spotted much sooner.


His pension may offer some cover if he's unable to work, or they may pay out early. He is still rather young though so not a great option!


Jx

sniggings

what was the episode?

How did the paranoia show itself?

It really depends how it shows itself, whether you need to leave now/soon or if at all.