Selling house, row with neighbours...

mermaid85

Mojisola - I totally get where you are coming from... TBH since I have sent an apologetic note and still been getting attitude in passing (including from one of my neighbours parent's yesterday! Managed to be the bigger person and keep walking!) I won't be doing anything further to try and smooth things over. Hopefully when it comes to form filling, my solicitor will be able to guide me and OH appropriately.

moneyistooshortotomention - I'm sorry that you are being treated differently for being single. Not everybody will do it - for me, if we were living next door to a single woman, I would be trying to help out, not going out of my way to be offensive! Unfortunately people all have different ethics and values.

dekaspace

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Personally - the fact that the neighbours only "go on" when OP's husband is away is so sexist that I wouldnt be in a conciliatory/bribing mood at all.

I do think neighbours who want to be awkward are much more inclined to do so to a woman on their own - from various tales I've heard from others. I've no way of being sure (ie because I've always been a "woman on my own" - so cant compare with what it was like when Hubby was around iyswim). I've just got distinct suspicions I would get treated better by neighbours if I had a resident husband

Its nothing to do with being female or male its simply someone they think they can intimate.

I am around 19 stone, and even when skinny have a rugby players build.

People notice I am different and try and bully.

So its not that they target women its just the people who do so may think a woman is smaller than a man so less likely to fight back should it get that far, its not sexism though as they would do the same to like nerdy or nervous guys as they know they won't fight back.

moneyistooshorttomention

I think its partly down to the fact that women tend to be physically smaller and weaker that bad neighbours will try intimidatory behaviour. But yes nerdy-looking men would likely be at risk too. I've also recently seen people trying to intimidate someone because they quite obviously look a bit "simple" (and have duly been advising that person on suitable strategies to not get treated badly by others).

One finds ways to "even out the balance" - eg knowing the law better than they do/making it plain that you may be small and weak but are quite prepared to find ways to protect your property/obvious sheer astonishment that they are trying to "dictate things" as its clearly inappropriate/etc.

fed_up_and_stressed

mermaid85 wrote: »

Actually the first time they did this was before we had completed on the house, and it had been empty for 6 months. Not exactly the best start to neighbourly relations to have thrown 6 months worth of cuttings over someone's fence before they move in.

The second which was when I pulled them up on it, my OH was working abroad and I had a 3 week old baby.

So yes, they were our cuttings. But unreasonable circumstances. And the law states that they should be offered back, but the owner doesn't have to accept them. Certainly they shouldn't just be launched over a fence.

Having a baby doesn't stop you hiring a gardener to deal with overgrown hedges. That is hardly unreasonable for them to expect you put in alternative arrangements.

Also if the property was empty there was no owner for them to offer them to -again not unreasonable. The law is clear cuttings are to be offered to the owner.

mermaid85

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

Having a baby doesn't stop you hiring a gardener to deal with overgrown hedges. That is hardly unreasonable for them to expect you put in alternative arrangements.

Also if the property was empty there was no owner for them to offer them to -again not unreasonable. The law is clear cuttings are to be offered to the owner.

No - but hiring a gardener when my husband is only away for 3-4 weeks is a bit overkill for a few branches, which presumably had offended them before he left, since they decided to cut them back the week he left.

fed_up_and_stressed

mermaid85 wrote: »

No - but hiring a gardener when my husband is only away for 3-4 weeks is a bit overkill for a few branches, which presumably had offended them before he left, since they decided to cut them back the week he left.

Or turn this around...

You had your hands full with a three week old baby and your hubby had gone away for 3-4 weeks without sorting the branches which were overhanging your neighbours property so they did you a favour by cutting them as you failed to tend them or put in alternative arrangements.

Mojisola

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

You had your hands full with a three week old baby and your hubby had gone away for 3-4 weeks without sorting the branches which were overhanging your neighbours property so they did you a favour by cutting them as you failed to tend them or put in alternative arrangements.

A householder doesn't have any obligation to cut back branches growing over the boundary.

If the neighbours want to cut them, they can.