Urgent advice needed re: lodger

moneyistooshorttomention

spunko2010 wrote: »

Then I apologise, though you could have made that clearer.

You say in your OP that you attract losers, it's because you're a "soft touch" and certain people will exploit that.

That point is a valid one for future reference - if you are seen as a "soft touch" (by your own admittance) then it would be as well to have a good think about how to prevent a succession of people "hitting on you".

Unfortunately there are a noticeable number of people that do "hit on" anyone they think they can use. One gets wiser to this gradually and I've had to "stand up for myself" twice just last week - or people would have had money out of me that they arent due for. Maybe that was a bad week for attempted try-ons? - but it goes to show that there are plenty of people like it around and demonstrates that it's as well to have a general strategy worked out for dealing with people like this (adapted according to occasion).

Perhaps change your "default reaction" to requests from "Yes" to "I'll think about it" and genuinely do think about it and then give your response to the request.

djdust

Cheers guys, yes I've learned lessons and this won't be happening ever again.

So, he came round last night to get the rest of his stuff only to find the locks changed and no one in (well I was but I just kept silent and pretended I wasn't). After over half an hour of repeated banging on the door, repeated attempts to unlock the door anyway and several text messages demanding to know why I'd changed the locks he gave up and slunk off...

I've spoken to his mum today. She confirmed what we all knew anyway. He doesn't have enough money in the bank and that's why the payment has failed. Apparently he's annoyed at my constant "nagging" too. She says she's had a word with him and will get him to sort something out so he can pay what he owes in instalments. He's sold some of his musical equipment on EBay and I've seen the auctions for myself - he currently has 330 quid coming his way, but he needs to get into my house to collect them. I don't plan to stop him as that would just be stupid and counter-productive, I'm curious to know how much of that amount he plans to give me though. I might ask how much he's sold them for and see if he either tells me to mind my own business, or lies...

Guest101

Bear in mind that approx. 13% goes in fees.


To be honest it's none of your business how much he sold it for.


Agree a payment plan and end it there.

djdust

Guest101 wrote: »

Bear in mind that approx. 13% goes in fees.

I highly doubt he's even thought of that and bet EBay will be doing chasing up of their own soon....

Guest101 wrote: »

To be honest it's none of your business how much he sold it for.

I guess not. Annoying though.

Guest101

djdust wrote: »

I highly doubt he's even thought of that and bet EBay will be doing chasing up of their own soon....


I guess not. Annoying though.

Perhaps, but you wouldn't be happy if your mortgage lender asked you how much you sold your car for; or what you won on the lottery; or...

Person_one

djdust wrote: »

So, he came round last night to get the rest of his stuff only to find the locks changed and no one in (well I was but I just kept silent and pretended I wasn't). After over half an hour of repeated banging on the door, repeated attempts to unlock the door anyway and several text messages demanding to know why I'd changed the locks he gave up and slunk off...

I don't understand, why didn't you just give him his stuff back?

moneyistooshorttomention

djdust wrote: »

Cheers guys, yes I've learned lessons and this won't be happening ever again.

So, he came round last night to get the rest of his stuff only to find the locks changed and no one in (well I was but I just kept silent and pretended I wasn't). After over half an hour of repeated banging on the door, repeated attempts to unlock the door anyway and several text messages demanding to know why I'd changed the locks he gave up and slunk off...

I've spoken to his mum today. She confirmed what we all knew anyway. He doesn't have enough money in the bank and that's why the payment has failed. Apparently he's annoyed at my constant "nagging" too. She says she's had a word with him and will get him to sort something out so he can pay what he owes in instalments. He's sold some of his musical equipment on EBay and I've seen the auctions for myself - he currently has 330 quid coming his way, but he needs to get into my house to collect them. I don't plan to stop him as that would just be stupid and counter-productive, I'm curious to know how much of that amount he plans to give me though. I might ask how much he's sold them for and see if he either tells me to mind my own business, or lies...

Way to go gal:T

Just reached for my calculator and, after Ebay fees, he has £287.10 available to pay you so far.

So £450 owed at the outset minus that = £162.90 more for him to earn to finish repaying you. My two installments then would be the £287.10 he has so far and the second installment would be the rest.

I've had to be "firm" and present exact figures to a lodger back when myself. I found they had stolen a lot of phonecalls from me - so I went through my itemised phonebill to work out exactly how much they had stolen and presented a bill to the exact penny and was very "firm" I expected to have all that money right NOW. I got it...I had a "lever". So have you - his mother.

missbiggles1

djdust wrote: »

Cheers guys, yes I've learned lessons and this won't be happening ever again.

So, he came round last night to get the rest of his stuff only to find the locks changed and no one in (well I was but I just kept silent and pretended I wasn't). After over half an hour of repeated banging on the door, repeated attempts to unlock the door anyway and several text messages demanding to know why I'd changed the locks he gave up and slunk off...

I've spoken to his mum today. She confirmed what we all knew anyway. He doesn't have enough money in the bank and that's why the payment has failed. Apparently he's annoyed at my constant "nagging" too. She says she's had a word with him and will get him to sort something out so he can pay what he owes in instalments. He's sold some of his musical equipment on EBay and I've seen the auctions for myself - he currently has 330 quid coming his way, but he needs to get into my house to collect them. I don't plan to stop him as that would just be stupid and counter-productive, I'm curious to know how much of that amount he plans to give me though. I might ask how much he's sold them for and see if he either tells me to mind my own business, or lies...

If she's that old a friend, I'd expect her to pay this and then get the money from him herself!

Smodlet

Musical instruments, is it? Was he any good? Somehow, I doubt it. No self-discipline in one area of life tends to be reflected in all of them. Is he into classic rock? Whether or no, what moneyistooshorttomention said and, likewise, "Whoa-ooh-oh-oh-ooh-oooh."

I think, if it came to Fleabay giving him a hard time because he could not produce what he had sold and Rinder ever got hold of this, it would be one of the best episodes, ever... I'm looking forward to cheering you on. You go, girl!

Mojisola

djdust wrote: »

Just over 2 months ago, I took in a temporary lodger who needed somewhere to stay before going to Uni in the Autumn - the son of a really old friend.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If she's that old a friend, I'd expect her to pay this and then get the money from him herself!

I agree. If I was the mother, that's what I would do.