Infant feeding advice

Beans27

msb5262 wrote: »

I didn't go that route. I used to get up and breastfeed in a chair by the baby's crib with no. 1, which worked ok especially if I moved very, very slowly when putting him back in bed - for instance leaving my hands underneath him for at least 3 minutes when he was in the crib.

Mrs B this is what i need to get better at - I am so impatient and rubbish at doing things sllooooooowwwwwwly....I try and rush it then just give up and go the easy route!

Mojisola

olgadapolga wrote: »

By the time we had the last one, we changed everything and did it OUR way. She was breastfed on demand, comforted when she cried. We were very much of the opinion by that point that if a baby cries, then s/he needs something. Babies need cuddles as well.

We did it our way as well. Having worked overseas where parents brought up their children without any advice books - babies were fed on demand, carried on backs or in slings (so were in constant touch with Mum or other relative) and co-slept.

I was struck by how rare it was to hear a baby cry.

Having seen how happy those babies were, we chose to be as natural as possible about it.

pigpen

Beans27 wrote: »

Pigpen, 11 kids?!! You must be a pro!!!

12 including the baby

I absolutely cannot bear to hear them crying and the anxiety levels in babies left to cry themselves to sleep was shown to be really high.. sometimes they do just want a cuddle.. but don't we all?

You can't spoil a baby.. they just want love and closeness and to be fed and comfortable and warm.. if that is spoiling then I want spoiling too!!!

the best thing to do with 'parenting books' is burn them.. babies haven't read them!

Kynthia

It's so hard as you want to do what is 'right' and safe but you also need sleep and are exhausted. Talking to as large a group as possible will show you that there are a variety of ways people parent in general and deal with early feeding and sleeping. So take whatever advice you think may work for you and don't worry about what is 'right' or what others who do differently think. That doesn't mean I advocate doing things that are risky but I also think Co - sleeping is a natural option that if done right isn't 'risky'. However many have been taught in this country that it is so it's hard to get good advice and support.

I think those cots that sit by your bed are still supposed to have the fourth side put up once the baby is asleep in it due to slight risks (I could be wrong), just like cot bumpers are a slight risk, and babies getting too warm, getting blankets on their face or sleeping with a cuddly toy or hat on are all slight risks. Co - sleeping anywhere other than a bed is very risky. There seem to be so many 'risks' that it can be very hard as a first time parent to know what to do.

I liked the fourth trimester theory. You can't spoil a baby or get them into good habits as they are too young. They are designed to be close to you for the first few months. The movement of lowering them down, like when you go to put them in a cot, actually triggers a safety reflex in them which causes them to wake and cry . So nature must have designed them to prevent that motion so that they stay close to a parent for safety. Lots will change over the next few months and you can change how you handle things then if you want.

Beans27

Yes some friends were talking about the fouth trimester - makes sense I suppose, I think I will give it another 3 or 4 weeks then see if he's showing any signs of getting into a routine. Should be grateful that we are getting some sleep at least!

And very true to the person above who said you don't tend to get crying babies in other cultures.....we are very British about child rearing I suppose :-D

yellowbear

Have a look at this site for sleep info
https://www.isisonline.org.uk/

thriftyemma

OP, you have been given some great advice regarding the pros and cons of co-sleeping. I have very little experience, so I will not try to add to previous advice.

What I will suggest is a baby sleeping bag. Eldest was nearly 9 months before we discovered these, and our lives were changed almost overnight. I think they're good for several reasons. They cannot cover the baby's head, so unlike blankets, the risk of suffocation is zero. If baby needs to come out of their cot, they don't get cold. And when they go back in the cot, they are still toasty warm. They unzip at the bottom, so nappy changing is a doddle. And sleeping bags can't be kicked off, so baby never gets cold, or tangled.

They come in several sizes, and tog weights. The most well-known brand is Gro-Bag, but there are many more.

I wish you luck whatever you chose to do.

hngrymummy

I never intended to cosleep, but my children changed my mind. Both of them hated their cot. Our eldest came in to our bed at 9 months, and we got so much more sleep than when he was in his cot. Now he's 5 and he doesn't climb in so often, and I miss his sleepy cuddles. Our youngest was colicky, so we coslept from the start just to get some sleep. She's in her own bed now at the beginning of the night, and when she wakes we end up in the same bed. Again, we get far more sleep this way, and I'm not nearly so tired as I was when we tried making her sleep in the cot by herself.

You can't spoil a baby, and there are studies suggesting that a child's brain is not sufficiently developed until around the age of 3 to 'self settle' https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

Don't over think things, and really don't worry about a 'routine' at this stage. Even if a baby does develop a routine of sorts it's usually soon changed as they develop, grow, have illnesses, get teeth, go on holiday, etc etc. Feeding on demand allows your child to signal to your body when they are growing so that you can make more milk for them. There's plenty of time for routines when you have to get them up at 7 every day to get ready for school!!

Beans27

Thrifty Emma,had forgotten about those grow bags - someone gave us one so I must dig it out and see what he makes of it, thanks!

And hngrymummy, yes I suppose that's true, routine isn't really that important right now - I'm quite a routine Person and hadn't fully realised just how random babies are I don't think! Not planning to go back to work until January so doesn't really matter until then

DigForVictory

When we twigged our son disliked going back into the cot, we realised there was a temperature difference - warm little one, cool sheet. So after feeding, we'd cuddle him in a cellular blanket & then lower the drowsy bundle carefully into the cot. It took time to get the blanket warm enough, but drowsy cuddles were good times even if I was fighting to stay awake enough to get back into my bed.

That worked for us then. They're all thumping great teenagers now, although one does seem to prefer a nest to a bed....

Enjoy your baby! While siblings are often startlingly different, you do learn to relax into it!