So alone in life

Totallyscaredoflife

Hi everyone I am not sure if this is the correct place to post so if not please feel free to move. I haven't really been on here much and am scared of someone working out who I am as I really can't have anyone find out I am posting on a forum but my reasons are for totally alone feelings with no one to turn to. I'm just so fed up with life and totally scared.

I'm married with 2 children, work part time and husband has a well paid job. We have a happy family life and our children want for nothing but with all that comes consequences. I don't have any family I can trust or turn to. Dad has a new family and was never around for me, mum has issues and has always seen me as a burden and is happy to live her own life until it suits her. I don't have any whole brothers or sisters.

If I only write some of this its because husband is around as he has the day off today as apparently has too many annual leave days left because he hasn't taken any annual leave this year so I apologise in advance but will come back.

We have enough money to pay all our bills but well it's very complicated and I have debt.

cmcavon

Hey,

Just wanted to say, the chances of anyone finding out who you are from your username are very slim. Just be careful not to give any personal information out and you'll be fine.

It sounds as though you need somewhere to vent and write down your situation and how you're feeling. I started a diary in the Debt Free Wannabee section:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=177 (I hope that's the right link).

I don't get replies generally but I find that writing in it helps me to deal with the day-to-day cr*p and helps me to focus.

Sending hugs your way, hope you start to feel better once you start to offload.

Totallyscaredoflife

cmcavon wrote: »

Hey,

Just wanted to say, the chances of anyone finding out who you are from your username are very slim. Just be careful not to give any personal information out and you'll be fine.

It sounds as though you need somewhere to vent and write down your situation and how you're feeling. I started a diary in the Debt Free Wannabee section:


I don't get replies generally but I find that writing in it helps me to deal with the day-to-day cr*p and helps me to focus.

Sending hugs your way, hope you start to feel better once you start to offload.

Hi cmcavon thank you so much for taking the time to reply, venting is something I need to do and not having anyone to speak to and confined in is tuff. I am so drained, lonely and I am scared of so many things. A diary would be great! I am not too sure what I am looking for from all this but am hoping it will calm me in a way. I feel desperate.

How long have you been posting in a diary? Thank you for caring x

Brightspark87

I love my diary - I've been doing it over the last 2 years and nearly debt free (last loan payment comes out Monday). you are never truly alone. x

enjoyyourshoes

could you not talk through your debt with your partner?

It will help in many ways, sharing, support, assistance, burden relief, assisting finding solution as to why you are in debt (debt is the symptom, solve the problem) etc

Also you can both agree what you as a family want to achieve in life. Write this down. Jointly focus on doing things together what support that overarching goal.

Smodlet

Hey. I have felt as you say you do. I even called the Samaritans. Good thing we get free calls, I found them no help whatsoever. They just hung on the phone to the point where I had to ask if they were still there. I would not put up with that from a utility company.

Reckon you will get more support on here. We actually give a damn, otherwise we would not bother. Sorry to speak for anyone else but, am I right, guys?

Whatever your financial situation, you are in the best place to get practical advice... and you are not alone.

This is so much better a place than PinMyTwitFace but still, we get trolls, from time to time. Any time you need a can of Smodlet-patented, industrial strength "Trollicide", you just let me know, huh?

Ellieseleven

Hello and welcome!

As others have said, I use my diary to vent and put my feelings down. It helps me to cope and in the early days it really was a comfort as I hadn't shared what was happening to me with anyone else and my OH is not helpful.

These days I go back to the beginning of my diary from time to time and read through how I felt during those first months and it spurs me on and helps to keep me on track.

Coming on here to ask questions or just to seek reassurance is worth it's weight in gold and everyone is or has had their own difficulties so we don't judge and just want to help:o

Keep posting, jot down your worries or questions and you will be surprised how much just letting it out will help you to feel better.

Good Luck

Ellie x

melanzana

Hello and welcome.

I get some signals from your post so I'd just like to say make sure your tablet/device is safe from other eyes, if you understand me!

Always clear your history and cookies anyway just be sure.

I see you have said that your husband is off work today as he hasn't taken his full quota of annual leave.

Does that mean that you as a family haven't had a break together all year? Sounds like you can afford to, so....Red flag.

I see that you have gotten into debt. No need to say why or how, the important thing is, it appears to be a secret. But you are in the same boat as thousands of others are aswell. You are not alone... So vent away.

Then, when you feel a bit stronger, make a plan to repay it. Even if it is ever so slowly, you will feel so empowered having made the decision to do something about it.

I wish you the very best. I'm sorry to say it, but your OP does send up some red flags for me. Maybe financial or emotional abuse, something like that. Hope I am totally wrong though.

The underlying issues need to be resolved in time.

Hugs.

Savingsara

Hi TC, I don't usually post but felt compelled to, because you do sound very alone and in need of support. I can understand why you feel alone, as I grew up in a similar environment, with a single non-supportive parent, and with siblings where there was rivalry instead of closeness. As a result of not having a good solid foundation for life, I found it hard to trust people and have difficulty making friends (although part of that is to do with the fact that I actually prefer my own company).
I was fortunate enough (after many trials) to find a supportive loving husband that I can rely on 100 % and have two children who are growing into lovely adults that are great company. I have a couple of good friends that I see occasionally but do sometimes miss having a 'best friend' (other than my husband) that I can talk to.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is 'hang in there' - things may seem bad at the moment but will get better. Concentrate on your children and being the best mother you can be - there is nothing in this world more important than that and, believe me, even when there are days when they may seem unappreciative, you are the most important person in their lives.
Also, keep up that part-time job as getting out and about is so important.
I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think you sound as though you may be a bit depressed (been there and had similar (some I now realise were irrational) fears), and maybe you should see your doctor? From what you wrote, it doesn't sound like your debt is your main issue / worry.
When my children were small it was very tough - untreated postnatal depression and no support from either family, we were on our own nd when my husband was working long hours, I sometimes felt like a single parent family (and was putting myself under pressure that everything had to be perfect). But as they grew, things got better and are much more relaxed now. I received treatment from my doctor - though it was gut wrenching to have to admit I needed help / medication, it was the best thing I ever did.
I hope things get better for you - do hang in there. I've seen Smodlet posting on other diaries and she is always supportive (and funny / witty). Big hugs, SS

Smodlet

Thank you, SavingSara, that is, without doubt, the nicest thing anyone has said to me today on here... please just ensure you read only the nice posts

I picked up on the "OH better not see what I'm writing" vibe as well. Let's hope we are both wrong.

Look out, OP, told you you were not alone.

rockabillygirl

Hi. I just wanted to say welcome, and that there are some amazing and wonderful people on here who will offer advice and encouragement, as well as being a good way of venting.
Sending hugs.