My DD started Reception but is making herself sick to get out of school... ideas?

blue_monkey_2

Hi Mojisola, LOL, I thought you meant someone physical, LOL, sorry. No, she is not ill, the skipping on the way home and chatting about the chocolate she wants sort of indicates that. She is very shrewed to the fact they tell me - loudly and in front of her - that she cannot come in the next day if she is sit, as is the bragging about it to her 3 year old brother (not something else I want happeneing!) that she cannot go to school. You kind of know when she is ill, she will not touch anything in the way of food and she will go to the sofa and not get off until she feels better. I don;t mean to sound funny, but you just know when your kids are ill because of how they act - does that make sense? But no, she has been fine since.

We seem to have got off to a good start this morning and she was happy to go in with the promise of chocolate waiting for her if she has a good day. Ahh, bribery, I don;t agree with it really but we have to have an incentive right now and while this works I am making the most of it!! She did have a whinge down the road about feeling poorly but I think the feelings she has are because she is nervous and she has that feeling of butterflies in her tummy. The school are being great with both kids and I know this is going to tae a while - it is just getting started but this morning she has gone in great and no call as of yet. I have also informed her that even if she was sick I would not be going to get her, I gave her a small lunch she she would not be pressured to eat a lot - they get fruit at the end of the day she if she is still hungry she will have something then as well. It is just a case of crossing fingers and hoping for the best now I think!!

Oh and they are getting on much better - i do keep a closer eye on them and even if out of the room you have to be constantly listening for when the fights break out but I do think we have progressed a little and they are getting on better as well.

Thanks again.

denton6

Hi my son now 6 used to feel sick going to school so now he eats a mint along the way and it does seem to help.Takes his mind and seems to calm him down.Hopefully they will be fine soon but it's so hard on us parents sometimes just to walk away,but really is the best thing to do.

Mojisola

blue_monkey wrote: »

No, she is not ill, the skipping on the way home and chatting about the chocolate she wants sort of indicates that.

Dead giveaway, isn't it? Just as well they're too innocent at that age not to realise!

You seem to be going through a tough time at the moment. I'm sure if we really knew before we had them just how hard life with kids can be, the human race would have died out long ago.

I'll bet if you ask the school about the reason behind having the extra day off after vomiting, it's to help stop the spread of any bugs. As it's clear that isn't the reason behind your daughter's vomiting, could you negotiate with them that in her case it's not necessary?

It sounds as if you're dealing with things well, even if it may not feel like it at times. It's not much help at the moment but these stages do pass.

Bribery is a great tool on occasions! If it gives you a bit of a break, use it. Don't forget to think of yourself in the middle of all this. You're important too and need a chance to relax occasionally without worrying about what the kids are up to.

veryskint_3

blue_monkey wrote: »

I wonder if anyone else has the same problems as me. My daughter has been at the nusery tied to the school for a year before this she was at pre-school a few morning a week. last year she spent a term staying for lunch, there were no problems at all, in fact she was the only one not to be ill.

However, she started back last Tuesday and went into Reception so it means staying all day and on Wednesday was sick at the end of the day - I think she had too much milk as it seemed to be milk that came up, they gave her 2 of those 1/3 pint carton and she never drinks that much. Needless to say it came up all over the floor (so embarrassing, the stain is STILL there) and she was off on Thursday. She has been fine, running around as normal, no illness,ate loads and back to school Friday. Friday lunchtime she was sick again during her lunch, so I had to go and get her. Now she is not a sicky child at all, got her home, she was 'where's my lunch I want some sweets' I said no, all you can have is toast, she was not too happy about that but she has been fine all weekend and eating like a horse, the same as usual, not even a hint of being ill or needing to rest (you can tell when you kids are not themselves can't you) but she has been fine. I have been trying to ask her why she was sick but there is no reason unless I suggest something and then she says yes.

So this morning I took her to school, put her shoes off and bags in and then she grabbed my hand and said 'mummy I am going to be sick I need to go home with you'. I took her to the toilet and said be sick in there but she wasn't. I took her to the classroom and said to the teacher that I thought we might have a problem and she said the same thing that she had to go home with me. I left her with the teacher and I took my son to his nusery class next door (another problem with him going, another story though - he did take his trousers off and refused to go!!) and then when I came back through I could hear someone in the toilet being sick and when I walked past, yes it was her. I called classroom assistant out and said what to do - usually if they are sick they get sent home and have to have 24 hours off - but they have given her a tissue and have told her if she feels sick she has the tissue. So far I have not had another call but if they are sick they are aupposed to get sent home (County Rules, which i can understand) but she is not ill at all. I can't understand it as she is so enthusiastic about going and getting in there. I know it sounds daft but I wonder if it is because the teacher is Russian and she cannot understand her. Do you think this is possible? Her English is good but there are some words that you have to listen to. As long as a teacher is good I do not mind where she comes from but she seemed fine until the teacher came along and the teacher does seem very good with them (I saw her get them in from play the other day - 4 claps from her and they were all clapping and followed her inside, it was like they are hypnotised, LOL, I am normally yelling at them to get in!!). But, seriously, I am not sure what to do now. It is horrible, I can't do anything or I daren't go anywhere in case I get called for her being sick I can't even go shopping as we live in a village a good 20 minute drive so it would take me half an hour to get back to the car and go get her.

What do you think i should do or where should I go from here. I wondered if anyone else had the same problem at all and if so what happened. I have 2 kids who don't want to go to school now, it is horrible taking them getting told to just be told to walk out and then not knowing if they are happy or not. Having been a stay at home mum they have been with me all the time, I do not have childcare or people to look after them so I can go out (I have never minded this, they are my life) so do not leave them in the evenings and apart from the odd half an hour if my sister has been here and I've popped to the PO they have been with me since birth every single day. I was looking forward to having just a few hours to catch up with Holby (yes, sad I know) and other TV I don't get a chance to watch so Sky+ it and I can't relax because I am going to be on edge until 3.15 now.

I just wondered if anyone else had the same problems as they have never come across it at the school before and I am at a loss to know how I deal with this.

Thanks.

I know this may not be much help but my daughter at one point absolutely hated the teacher to the point she was running after me when i left her at school. Our school has a policy that parents are welcome to help out doing arty things or listening to readers. So we have a deal, I go in one afternoon a week as long as she goes to school and "is a good girl". So therefore i get her to school and also see if there is any problems within the classroom with her on a regular basis!!!;)

minimoneysaver

There is also the possibility that their is a personality clash between your daughter and the teacher.
The teacher will be out of the class for PPA (planning etc) during the week. It is normal to have a few different teachers in class throughout the week covering times when the teacher has to be out of class, but the TA's normally stay the same.

dee_mum_of_3

im a nursery nurse and a mum to 3 sons,I cant help but feel this has been allowed to drag on too long,either 1/she is unhappy and fearful at school (this could be anything from a weird smell to an unpleasant child or adult one child i know was petrified of p.e in knickers and vest in case she forgot her pe stuff) in which case id say she needs looking after a ta could meet her as she comes in and set about doing classroom tasks til register -just enough time to get you out of school and her initially relaxed as a mum id ask WHY at 4-5 was she being sick alone in the loo? they know theres a problem with her being sick.
2/shes finding the change from nursery to school hard in which case why not a shorter day for a little while,why not a walk now and again back to nursery to show them what a big girl she has become.
3/i always think fear in children manifests in tummies either theyre sick or belly achey sometimes a magic rub will help(an adult with warm hands rubbing her tummy(over her vest or t shirt v pc)just a quick 2 minute thing giving her really a disguised hug
perhaps she is afraid of her teachers accent ....something however minor has upset her,Im under no illusion that in 2-3 weeks she may well be fine but thats a long time for a little one and being sick is no pleasure so im inclined to agree and say its time for school to investigate this.

blue_monkey_2

Hi Mum of 3, yes, it is all 3 I think. We are trying not to make an issue of it. She says every night and morning she has a tummy ache and they are meeting her and taking her into school. Indeed she has become TOO attached to her teacher and her absence started this last bout of vomiting to get off school. On Friday she even sat with the teacher in the classroom to eat her lunch as she wants to be around her. They are looking after her and the school are helping 100% for sure and they are not sending her home. I am usually getting ready for school now but am leaving it until the last possible minute so we have not so much fussing.

I am sure it will take a good few months, we are trying to use incentives like stickers to get through one day at a time so she then realises that she can have a good time at school and not be with me all day.

So fingers crossed, she is playing happily this morning and knows she is off to school but she has the school teddy to take back (we took him to the cinema on Saturday and had to write in the book) but these are all little things that help us along the way. I bet it all gets sorted and then it half term!!

dee_mum_of_3

let us know how she gets on ......im glad its not the teacher she has issues with...