My DD started Reception but is making herself sick to get out of school... ideas?

Anastasia

One of my children started Reception in September but she was not legally required to attend full time school until the January. She was five the following March.

She fretted really badly with tummy aches and all sorts. I just knew she wasn't ready for full time and the school let her attend for half days until the end of term. In January she went full time with no problem at all.

Lilmiss_2

Just as an alternative suggestion- and one many parents don't know about...Do you know you have a legal right to educate your children yourselves at home? Home education is a real option for children who just cannot handle school.The governmnet and local education authorities lead you to believe your child HAS to go to school and if they do not you can be prosecuted and possibly imprisoned... Not so- not if you decide you wish to educate themselves yourself at home. Its legal, possible, and not as hard as you would imagine. I do it and since I withdrew my very unhappy children from school they are excelling and are very happy. Sure its hard work but rewarding .School isnt ruled out forever-they can return later if thats what you want for them and they are happy to( perhaps your daughter is just too young to manage all day without you in school- many children are!). Durham University has published research that shows that children who have been home educated are generally two years ahead of their schooled peers.Which should reassure some who doubt whether kids learn or would be ok in school later.Theres more information herehttp://www.education-otherwise.org/

Mumstheword

Sorry, not had time to read all thru:)

I'd make sure life at home during school hours was very boring!

In our house, if you are off school poorly you need to be in bed. All day. No telly:D


.....unless they really are poorly in which case they sit with me for lots of cuddles lol!!

blue_monkey_2

Hi again, just catching up with all my threads.

We were making good progress with this and had not had any vomiting - until today when I was called back to school. I bought my daughter home, she expected to sit on the sofa and watch TV all day with her duvet. She came downstairs and asked for a cuddle and I said no she had to be in bed if she was sick and she promptly made herself sick again. I sent her upstairs to bed. When I get her she is bounding out of school and chatting all the way home. I am making sure there are no toys, books or (especially) TV. i sent her to bed and went up to check on her and went upstairs and her face lit up when she saw me and I said 'you're OK then, gave her the sick bucket (telling her just in case) and came back downstairs. Now I am not normally like this but I am going to keep her off today and tomorrow as I have to but she will spend the time in bed. I can't even tell you how bad this makes me feel as I feel an absolute cow. She has gone to sleep now I guess she must have been bored, but I need to make sure she thinks if she has the day off she is not having a good time sitting here with me and watching what she wants on the telly so she has a better time at school.

I have explained to her that if she keeps on having days off being sick then we will not be allowed the time off to go on holiday. I explained to her (we have a break at Disneyland Paris booked for November) that if she keeps on having days off the school will not allow her to go. The teaching assistant heard me say this and she told me that it was a good thing to say to encourage her to go and that if she is still doing it to tell her we are not going now. I said well I can't really as it is booked - and she turned to me and said 'well unbook it then'. Er, right, so I will chuck that money down the toilet. I did not say anything, but it is one I will say for the future when something is not booked. When I asked her why she was sick and did not want to go she told me it was because Mrs xxxx (her regular teacher) was not in today. I can't understand why she is suddenly like this, she had at least 3 different teachers a week in the reception class. It is very odd.

So, we can only see what else the next few weeks bring, as with my son on the other thread, I take each day as it comes. I do know that I detest the stress and whinging and moaning each morning brings and I hate feeling relieved that I have them in school and a bit of peace and quiet. We shall see.

Mojisola

If she seems happy when she is at school but is still being sick, don't ignore the possibility that something physical is making her sick!

blue_monkey_2

what do you mean - something physical? Like a buly? The teachers are keeping an extra close eye on her, my sister also works at the school so she is not being bullied. Is this what you mean? Sorry, I did not quiet understand.

I've read a bit tonight, i feel it might be separation anxiety as at age 5 they start getting more fearful about things. I am at home home with her 24/7 and it is always me that meets her from school. Do you think ti might help if her dad went without me occassionally??

blue_monkey_2

Okay. I spoke to a friend - she is a counsellor in the US working with kids with behaviour problems (beleive it or not) - and she has told me to go speak to the school and get it dealt with. by them sending her home they are reinforcing her negative behaviour and this is being rewarded positively by a few days at home with mummy - just what se wanted. She misses me, she told me that. So, I will post back when I have more news, but it is time to speak to the school and time to move forward. I feel I can sleep a bit easier now at any rate. Fingers crossed we can deal with this.

Dumyat

sorry to hear she hasnt settled yet. my daughter did take a while too. dont lose heart yet. I didnt mention in my last post but one of her "insecurities" revolved around the janitor once telling her to eat her dinner! we ended up having a meeting with the janitor where he promised never to speak to her again unless she approached him...
She had a lot of anxieties at the time, it wasnt just one thing. her teacher was off sick, they had a procession of teachers filling in, I had new job quite far away (she seemed to think it was the end of the earth), her dad had a new job and her grand dad died. It did take weeks if not months to sort itself out. but it did in the end

Mojisola

blue_monkey wrote: »

what do you mean - something physical?

Hiya, I meant physical as in a physical illness - infection, etc.

I've had experience of children being treated as school refusers when they really were ill but all their symptoms were put down to stress and wanting to get out of school.

Have you spoken to your GP just to eliminate any possible causes of the symptoms?

Moominmamma

Hi Blue_Monkey

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, my dd has just started in reception too, and it hasn't exactly been plain sailing :rolleyes: It's obviously a huge step for any child to start school and there was an article in The Guardian (I think) recently about how childrens' stress levels really do soar in the run-up to starting school so maybe the whole being sick thing genuinely is stress-related and your little girl is fine when you pick her up simply because she's being removed from the stressful situation?

On the other hand I've also been following your other thread - (((((hugs)))) -
you seem to have your hands full - and could it be, as some others have suggested, that your dd is wanting to be at home with you whilst your son is at nursery so that she can have some quiet time alone with you? You say you spend the majority of your time with your children but obviously this too must be somewhat stressful for your dd if she and you son are constantly at each others throats (regardless of whether or not she is the perpetrator) This could also explain why your son is reluctant to be at nursery - they both want to be at home with you while their sibling isn't!

That said, I don't really have any answers for you, I'd imagine that the key to both situations is to get your children's relationship with each other back on track which you've said is what you're working at, no magic solution to that one unfortunately!

Anyway, I really do wish you luck in getting things sorted, come back and give me some tips when you've got it sussed!!

M x