My DD started Reception but is making herself sick to get out of school... ideas?

blue_monkey_2

I wonder if anyone else has the same problems as me. My daughter has been at the nusery tied to the school for a year before this she was at pre-school a few morning a week. last year she spent a term staying for lunch, there were no problems at all, in fact she was the only one not to be ill.

However, she started back last Tuesday and went into Reception so it means staying all day and on Wednesday was sick at the end of the day - I think she had too much milk as it seemed to be milk that came up, they gave her 2 of those 1/3 pint carton and she never drinks that much. Needless to say it came up all over the floor (so embarrassing, the stain is STILL there) and she was off on Thursday. She has been fine, running around as normal, no illness,ate loads and back to school Friday. Friday lunchtime she was sick again during her lunch, so I had to go and get her. Now she is not a sicky child at all, got her home, she was 'where's my lunch I want some sweets' I said no, all you can have is toast, she was not too happy about that but she has been fine all weekend and eating like a horse, the same as usual, not even a hint of being ill or needing to rest (you can tell when you kids are not themselves can't you) but she has been fine. I have been trying to ask her why she was sick but there is no reason unless I suggest something and then she says yes.

So this morning I took her to school, put her shoes off and bags in and then she grabbed my hand and said 'mummy I am going to be sick I need to go home with you'. I took her to the toilet and said be sick in there but she wasn't. I took her to the classroom and said to the teacher that I thought we might have a problem and she said the same thing that she had to go home with me. I left her with the teacher and I took my son to his nusery class next door (another problem with him going, another story though - he did take his trousers off and refused to go!!) and then when I came back through I could hear someone in the toilet being sick and when I walked past, yes it was her. I called classroom assistant out and said what to do - usually if they are sick they get sent home and have to have 24 hours off - but they have given her a tissue and have told her if she feels sick she has the tissue. So far I have not had another call but if they are sick they are aupposed to get sent home (County Rules, which i can understand) but she is not ill at all. I can't understand it as she is so enthusiastic about going and getting in there. I know it sounds daft but I wonder if it is because the teacher is Russian and she cannot understand her. Do you think this is possible? Her English is good but there are some words that you have to listen to. As long as a teacher is good I do not mind where she comes from but she seemed fine until the teacher came along and the teacher does seem very good with them (I saw her get them in from play the other day - 4 claps from her and they were all clapping and followed her inside, it was like they are hypnotised, LOL, I am normally yelling at them to get in!!). But, seriously, I am not sure what to do now. It is horrible, I can't do anything or I daren't go anywhere in case I get called for her being sick I can't even go shopping as we live in a village a good 20 minute drive so it would take me half an hour to get back to the car and go get her.

What do you think i should do or where should I go from here. I wondered if anyone else had the same problem at all and if so what happened. I have 2 kids who don't want to go to school now, it is horrible taking them getting told to just be told to walk out and then not knowing if they are happy or not. Having been a stay at home mum they have been with me all the time, I do not have childcare or people to look after them so I can go out (I have never minded this, they are my life) so do not leave them in the evenings and apart from the odd half an hour if my sister has been here and I've popped to the PO they have been with me since birth every single day. I was looking forward to having just a few hours to catch up with Holby (yes, sad I know) and other TV I don't get a chance to watch so Sky+ it and I can't relax because I am going to be on edge until 3.15 now.

I just wondered if anyone else had the same problems as they have never come across it at the school before and I am at a loss to know how I deal with this.

Thanks.

Myrtle

Have you got a mobile number you can leave with school so you can get out of the house? If so, go for a walk, clear your head a bit or go to a cafe or a friends and try to relax. It's probably just a bit of "back to school nerves" which will most likely settle down after a few days.

Good luck!

If you really can't go out have a look here
http://www.badmothersclub.co.uk/jsp/index.jsp?lnk=308 The lovely ladies here are great at giving advice and there are lots of funny threads to take your mind of worrying.

Doozergirl

I think that giving her a tissue is probably the best thing. Being sick won't be pleasant for her and she will simply learn that it doesn't get her home. It may even be that she doesn't necessarily have a problem with school, just that when she was genuinely sick from the milk (I imagine), she learnt that she gets to go home and have some quiet time with just mummy

My little boy is never ill and genuinely loves school but we did have a few episodes towards the end of last term where he was having a tummy ache or a suspected broken hand, or a sore neck and I was having to go and get him. I think he just liked the attention as there was nothing wrong with him once we got home!

Quackers

Myrtle wrote: »

Have you got a mobile number you can leave with school so you can get out of the house? If so, go for a walk, clear your head a bit or go to a cafe or a friends and try to relax. It's probably just a bit of "back to school nerves" which will most likely settle down after a few days.
.

I agree.

Your daughter obviously had a bad experience on the first day - with too much milk making her sick.

This has probably stayed on her mind and she either realises that being sick means she can stay home or she is maybe having some kind of 'panic' moment when she thinks about what happened & it makes her feel sick again.

Am I making sense

Anyway, I too think the best thing you can do is carry on as normal.

The school have the best idea with the tissue. It will make her realise being sick does not mean she will automatically get sent home.

Put the kettle on & it'll all be done and dusted within a week

blue_monkey_2

Yes you are all right I think it was probably the thing with the milk and being sick. I don't think it helps that there is still a huge stain on the carpet and some of those absorbing granules sprinkled down there still. I wonder also if it is because she feels embarrassed that the other kids kids saw her being sick as she will not even talk about it with us. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I needed someone else to see it in a different light.

She is liked by everyone at school, I have seen that as well, all kinds of things go through your head though and my first thought was that she was being bullied or that something had happened to her but I don't think this is the case. I saw her playing in Friday and she was fine.

You know what was worrying me more is that they start sending her home all the time when she is not sick and then she get used to having every other day off and it as not going to be solving the problem because I told them on Thursday that she was not actualy sick but I got told that if she had been sick she had to have 24 hours off and that was the rule, I could not see this changing and this was my worry, that she thought she could be sick and then get sent home. Fingers crossed that it settles down and she forgets all about it.

My friends boy was sick when he started school lunches and he had to have a few days off as she was genuinly sick but when he got back to schol, whever he tried to eat he was gagging on his food. She just stopped him going for a lunch for a week and said to the teacher that he could not do that indefinatley so he started taking a small packed lunch instead and working from there, one day he was even sick in his lunch box, my friend gave him just a small sandwich and a yogurt because if they do not eat their food they do not get a sticker and then he would not feel the pressure to eat so much. Now it has all been forgotten about and it is back to narmal sized lunches but he has stuck with packed lunch. I guess it all makes sense now you have told me.

Thank you for setting my mind at rest. I don't really have anywhere to go in the mornings, I have that time set side for getting some work done (I have my own business but that has seened to have gone by the wayside while the kids have been off school and I need to start earning some money again!!) and then we catch up with people in the afternoons and I was going to start taking my son swimming as he is petrified of water and I wanted to take him on my own while I could but that can wait a week. Most of the other mums have babies so they go off to toddlers groups in the morning and the like - I was just looking forward to spending some time on my own and getting something done in the afternoon. I can't go swimming because the phones do not work in there. I'll give it a week and I'll feel much easier after that I think. Thank you once again for setting my mind at rest and putting everything in perspective.

Quackers

blue_monkey wrote: »

Yes you are all right I think it was probably the thing with the milk and being sick. I don't think it helps that there is still a huge stain on the carpet and some of those absorbing granules sprinkled down there still..

Sometimes its just good to hear other people saying what you already know but need it confirmed.

If you get my drift

She really will be ok & in a couple of weeks you'll be wondering what you were worrying about

Kid eh? Who'd have'em?

Dumyat

my sympathies. my daughter went through a spell of this. (more related to stress in the family than school itself). getting herself sent home from school and then asking for lunch!
I'd try and keep it matter of fact, and try not to feed the anxiety. sounds like the school are doing that. as with most things with kids, it'll be a phase which passes.

wendym

How about telling her that you felt a bit sick today, and met someone who told you that a tiny bit of ginger works like magic? It's perfectly true for nausea, and having a small piece in her pocket might just do the trick.

Or would having a 'magic' ginger biscuit in her lunchbox help?

Poor thing - the combination of being sick (and milk too - yuk!) and the embarrassment must have been awful.

And I remember (and now remind my daughter) that when you're in the middle of a tricky patch, you think it will never end. It does, but that doesn't make you worry any less, I know.

feelinggood_2

I did the same thing at that age. The reason I was unhappy was that I wasn't been pushed enough - I was ready to learn more, and it was incredibly boring to just be playing and doing simple things at school. Could it be something like that? It might be worth just asking her.

blue_monkey_2

Well, my sister just called and she got through lunch OK, the teacher bought her in so they are looking after her and when my sister saw her (she is a dinnerlady at the school) she was playing outside just fine.

I know in a few weeks it'll be something we laugh about but I was really worried this morning, I thought they might start sending her own every day and then we would get nowhere.

I have my son back here as well - they had problems with him first thing but once he was in he was just fine. I know it'll all settle down in the end - I just need to get over these first few weeks and fingers crossed it'll be a distant memory.

misspenny

my mum had lots of problems with me in my first year, mainly down to me wanting to go to my old nursary ,she started a star chart and i got a reward at the end of the week if i'd got a star every day, but id have tantrums 'be ill' scream and cry and have to be wrenched of my mum every day, tho hopefully your daughter will settle in before you have problems like that.