Unwarranted envy

CathA

Sometimes life seems harsh, and when it can't get any worse, it does! My mum used to say that some days all she wanted to do was to strangle a cat,(she didn't like cats but she'd never really do it, honest!) not that I suggest you do that though.
We all have periods when life just sucks, everyone else is better/thinner/happier/making better choices, and all you want to do is punch them in the face. Just be kind to yourself, accept that we all feel like you do sometimes and seek help if you need it.
Someone could be thinking about you that's it's not fair, you've got a lovely hubby/good degree/good job lined up/curvy figure with decent boobs (I wish I had some!) so chin up, kiddo, the grass isn't always greener.

Look after yourself. x

Mojisola

Bouncybubbles wrote: »

shortly after my wedding last august I fell pregnant with our first and had hyperemesis being hospitalised twice before eventually losing the baby at ten weeks. Now I admit that it wasn't really the right time to be having a baby with being right at the end of my degree etc however it made it no less devastating.

Now I would have been due around last week when his brother came out with the fact they were pregnant.

They seem to be absolutely rolling in money as he has a good job and to quote her " I only work to buy clothes and go out to the tune of around £800/month"......

she is naturally super thin and I'm chubby/fat (being honest) and to top it all of she is not sick in the slightest not even in the mornings and constantly moans about needing to eat all the time and she is going to end up fat....

I know I'm being irrational

Don't underestimate the effects of your miscarriage.

When you add the emotions connected with that to the thoughtless comments made by your BIL and his wife - well, it's not surprising you're feeling down.

Most people who say things like your SIL does aren't very happy with their own lives. I would reduce the contact you have with her and put yourselves first.

springdreams

I found this, which you may find helpful

http://thelocalbakehouse.com/the-unbelievably-powerful-mind-trick-you-need-to-try/

justme111

Could be that your sil is not very pleasant person. Could be that she is fine and you just feeling fragile due to circumstances. People talk about their lives , it is not nice for better off people not being able to talk about their lives because whatever they say someone will feel jealous and shortchanged. Probably it is just a stage you going through, well done at sharing it here xx

System

TBagpuss wrote: »

Please don't feel you have to wait until things are worse before you get hep from your GP. Prevention is better than cure, and they may be able to offer you some support to stop things getting that bad.

It's sensible not to see your SIL, you need to look after yourself first

My first thought reading your original post was that she sounded very insecure, if she feels the need to boast about her income etc.

Good luck

Have to second this, i;ve been experiencing a depressive episode since april and left it as i thought it would clear up, it didnt and it got to the point i was almost in crisis before i got help. Please don;t let it get that bad before you seek help.

You;re going through a lot (debt, miscarriage) and having your in laws be announcing a pregnancy at this time must be very raw for you. Try and give yourself some space whilst you focus on looking after yourself.

firebird082

Didn't want to read and run - just wanted to say that jealousy is absolutely normal, and nothing to feel ashamed of. One thing that helped me was to acknowledge the jealousy, and to figure out what was causing it. I'm certain your SIL is not as perfect as you make out - in fact she sounds like she is trying to make up for some lack. Hang in there, and follow up with the doctor if things don't improve.

And... :T on sorting out the DMP - you are aware of the problems, and working to solve them. That's excellent stuff, and you should be proud of yourself.

Primrose

I know it's not easy, and perfectly human to think how you do when others seem to be having a easier time of it than you.
but the secret in such situations is to turn the situation around and look at it from a totally opposite angle. In other words, count the blessings you do have.


You don't have cancer or a terminal illness
You are in a strong relationship.
You have a roof over your head.
You will shortly have a degree and have a good job lined up in September.
Your life is still ahead of you.
A permanent job will help you clear your debts.

What your brother and his wife have, or don't have is totally irrelevant to your own life. Any future baby you have deserves to start life in a debt free home so sit down with your other half and put together a determined plan to get yourselves debt free. Concentrate on that and try to forget your brother's lifestyle. While you are concentrating on his, you are mentally diminishing your efforts to get your own life back on track. Best of luck! You will get there if you are both determined enough.

Money_saving_maniac

Bouncybubbles wrote: »

I know I'm being irrational and there are people out there much worse than me but I just feel life is incredibly unfair at the moment and I feel like there is no way out. I cant decide if I am upset about her having a baby and not being ill (which is truly awful of me) or if I am just jealous of their lifestyle and ability to start a family before us even though we have been stable and together for nearly ten years.


My apologies for this tirade I am disgusted with myself for feeling this way but don't have anyone I can talk to without upsetting the apple cart so to speak.

Do you know what, I find that 'counting my blessings' doesn't help me.
It doesn't make you awful to be jealous. You've lost a baby, which is very painful, and you're struggling at the moment.
It hurts and is upsetting to see other people flaunt it all in front of you without giving one thought as to how you might feel.
It's normal to feel like that. I've felt like that. Many people have felt like that. Perfectly normal and doesn't mean you are a bad person or being horrid.