Will my partners finances affect getting a house?

Hermia

Cakeguts wrote: »

I don't really know how he knows that being unhappy in a job will cause him to get ill. This is like saying that if he works in a job that he doesn't like he will get cancer? Depression is an illness. You can't know in advance that you are going to suffer from an illness because you don't like your job. Not turning up has got nothing to do with depression. In fact depression gets worse if you stay at home all day doing not very much.

If he is telling you this about jobs he is on the edge of lying to you. Makes me wonder what else he could be lying about?

I know people with chronic health problems (some quite serious) or mental health problems who work. They are proud that they are supporting themselves and their families. Sometimes it can be hard to get going in the morning, but they often feel so much better once they get into the swing of things at work.

OP - you sound like a nice, responsible person. Make sure you are not being used. I have a lovely friend who lost her home and £30k in savings thanks to a guy who sounds like the twin of your OH.

Jhoney_2

I'm pretty sure most parents wouldn't let a teenager get away with this kind of behaviour and attitude!

There's not one reason, action or outcome described in the OPs posts above that would compel me to support my own DC in the same circumstances. Yet like any parent I would give my life to spare theirs. This? Not a chance.

Less still a 'partner'!.... He'd be out before you could finish humming the flintstone's theme tune.

Marvel1

I would stop funding his debts and presents.

Jennifer_Eccles wrote: »

Yikes, do you think you would be better off on your own without this man-child?

I would say this also if no child was involved.

TBagpuss

cjdavies wrote: »

I would stop funding his debts and presents.



I would say this also if no child was involved.

Eve nwith a child involved, why not? He isn't much of a role model, it may be much healthier long term for the child to have a hard working, repsonsible mother as role model rather than a lazy and irreseponsible !!!!!!!!!!. And if OP choses to go it alone, that in no way prevents that child having a realtionship with their dad or his family. And if Op isn't worn out trying to parent her partner as well as her child she may have more time and engery to spend with her child.

Jox

Unfortunately you won't ever be able to change him, he won't become a breadwinner who is good with money and you will always be paying his debts and for things for his other children. It is your choice to accept this or not.

FitzWilliams

HappyMJ wrote: »

If he's not willing to do anything to acquire cash to support his family then make sure...as you're not married...that the house and mortgage is totally in your name and do not get married.

Do not let him contribute to the mortgage and do not let him carry out DIY projects on the house. He can and should do all the housework but don't let him do any improvements or he may get a beneficial interest in the property. Let him contribute no more than half of the bills if he can but make sure it's never more than half or it will be implied the excess was to pay off the house.

What I would do is pay off the mortgage with all excess income that you have so your emergency fund (of about 3 months pay) does not increase. The 3 month emergency fund should almost never be used....it's not for grocery shopping...it's for boiler replacement and unexpected home maintenance costs.

You might as well be single at that rate

Slinky

It'll all end in tears.....

Jhoney_2

Slinky wrote: »

It'll all end in tears.....

Whilst I would have shed my own a long time ago, I do hope not.

Returning to the question, there is no doubt all this is delaying the OP's wish to buy a house at a minimum. How could it not?

His finances are not an obstacle per se, subject to leaving well alone, focusing on the objectives within her own control and securing a bargepole between his financial profile and her own.