Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread

Saversue

Sue, this thread is a fantastic support system, come on here and have a moan.

It is very hard looking after a parent. I remember when my mum was terminally ill, she would not allow us to get a nurse in (even though father's work provided health insurance that covered it) and I missed out on a lot of social things during that year, it was down to me and my father as my father said my brothers should not miss out on life :mad: If they had taken their fair share I might have had a social life, they even stole my 20th birthday trip out, I had taken the day off , but my father then announced I was staying home to look after mum because he was going into work :mad: Admittedly he nearly lost his job because someone had to look after her, but he refused to make my brothers do their fair share. The awful thing was that she had turned into a bitter woman by that point and did nothing but moan. Yes, she was very ill, but if only she had accepted a nurse we might have had a chance at life.

Annoyingly, at some point in that year my older brother managed to move out. I had to reassess my life totally, and I had to admit to myself that wedding plans I had made had actually been just in order to get away from a home life I hated. So that wedding got cancelled, I would have been way too young and I was way too bitter at that point.

Oh my, I sound so bitter don't I, but it was a very tense homelife so I understand well that people with MH problems would really struggle with that sort of set up.

Sue, your mum understandably wants the world to revolve around her at the moment, but she has to be made to understand that you need a life and need to get away from the tensions at home. Please take it from me, you need a break and you need help, if we had had help my life would have been VERY different.

Such a heartfelt reply. Thank you for taking the time to post such raw emotions. Brother who lives some distance away is as much use as a chocolate tea-pot, made harder by the fact he has Prostate Cancer. Had Prostate removed, Radiotherapy, but not cured or in remission. On a trail at the moment. Minus the Cancer, he would still be of little help.

Snap-ant wrote: »

:A Saversue

I've slept deeply & feel refreshed for our hospital visit today.

My thoughts are with you and your sister.

HILLBERN wrote: »

oh dear poor you ...it must be an awful struggle for you but unfortunately im afraid you must think of yourself upmost and foremost because without you mum would not be where she is today. you must allow someone to come in and sit even if for only an hour a day every day and you keep out of the way. I have seen many palliative patients putting up barriers about having someone else in their home, but after a couple of visits they are more than happy to see someone else to chat to. life does revolve round mum but you also have a life. Please take any help that is offered, once you are on their system you may be able to get more help/support in the future.
Are district nurses involved with mum? they can often put a referral in to ss also well the ss around where I live contract out to various agencies but they all come under ss umbrella so nurse will have contact numbers for them. Near me the redcross also come and sit, they don't do care but they will do shopping all voluntary ...its worth picking up the phone and enquiring even if they cant help they may know of someone who can, we also have a group called befrienders that come and sit. Can mum go to a res.home for a week to give you a break?
look after yourself x

Thanks Hillbern, some good ideas and advice. Just got to get Mum to accept she needs help. At the moment she is refusing all help.

latest_flame

LEJC wrote: »

Thanks Izz....The neighbour has been round this afternoon and I think is satisfied that they hit the car....although I'm getting the feeling that they would like to do things without involving the insurance company...so for us to get a quote.
Clearly I dont think they value their car enough to go through insurers to repair.

There is good reason for not claiming, your (sons) insurance record will have an accident on it, nothing to do with who was at fault.
Your neighbour may well be of the opinion that a few hundred quid is better than what might be down the line if they report the bump to their insurer.

All of my sons mates have expensive cars, none would report a "bump".

davemorton

LEJC wrote: »

Thanks Sarah....that's good to know.

The strange thing is googling this repair centre and its the other side of the road to the dealership...

Chances are the dealership out-source to the repair centre anyway.
There is an Aston Martin garage near me, and you just would not believe the place that does their paint repairs, its up a back lane and looks a little dodgy, but their work is excellent.

bubbs

From darkside


Luxury Dark Willow Four Person Picnic Basket 76% OFF £21.58 / £25.57 delivered @ Prezzy box

gocat

fish shop compared ok. Sorry for delay, was dealing with getting medication for my mum. Doctor has prescribed some sleeping pills for mum as she is up all night and asleep all day despite us trying to keep her awake during the day.
Local hospice phoned and said they "may" offer mum a bed there for a few nights next week to monitor her sleeping pattern.
Got a gut feeling she will be staying there as she is deterioating faster now

locarr

mhoc wrote: »

Yes I've been checking all of the small print on the job descriptions in particular since Errant son did the interview in mid wales (which we are even more convinced was a set up job)

mhoc, I'm intrigued...what this about bout a set up? you mentioned it previously when I asked about Errant son's interview, what happened? cheers

bubbs

gocat wrote: »

fish shop compared ok. Sorry for delay, was dealing with getting medication for my mum. Doctor has prescribed some sleeping pills for mum as she is up all night and asleep all day despite us trying to keep her awake during the day.
Local hospice phoned and said they "may" offer mum a bed there for a few nights next week to monitor her sleeping pattern.
Got a gut feeling she will be staying there as she is deterioating faster now

Sorry to read this x

TrulyMadly

Enterprise_1701C wrote: »

I am sooooo relieved you like it

I'm eating it by the handful:)

TrulyMadly

locarr wrote: »

mhoc, I'm intrigued...what this about bout a set up? you mentioned it previously when I asked about Errant son's interview, what happened? cheers

Not 100% sure but did the job have someone else's name on it and the company were just going through the motions?

TrulyMadly

gocat wrote: »

fish shop compared ok. Sorry for delay, was dealing with getting medication for my mum. Doctor has prescribed some sleeping pills for mum as she is up all night and asleep all day despite us trying to keep her awake during the day.
Local hospice phoned and said they "may" offer mum a bed there for a few nights next week to monitor her sleeping pattern.
Got a gut feeling she will be staying there as she is deterioating faster now

Oh gocat...sorry to hear this news:o

But the respite might help you out a little and she will be cared for so well:A