Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread

gocat

TrulyMadly wrote: »

Gocat...will speak in morning if you are still stuck:)

Managed it now. Thanks :A

Savvybuyer

TrulyMadly wrote: »

Pm me in the morning if I've missed anyone out.

And if it doesn't work blame WMCB:rotfl:

It is already the morning:D. However, I understand that "morning" doesn't mean morning but means daytime sometime before noon:cool:.

(And of course it's left unspecified as to the precise time as people like to be like that:rotfl:.):T

Savvybuyer

TrulyMadly wrote: »

It happens to me often savvy...then you feel as if you have to apologise and you've done nothing wrong:rotfl:

It wasn't a serious misunderstanding - and it was one where, surely it must have become clear to them that I had misunderstood (although obviously I don't know whether it did or did not become clear to them as I never know anything at all:rotfl: (...but really is insignificant enough that it doesn't matter:cool:)). As it was, I didn't have any urge to apologise to them at all.

(...Why? Should I have done?:think:) Anyway, they were already far away from me by that point. And, for me to have gone after them, and approached them:eek:, would probably have come across as a bit awkward and maybe even a little threatening to them, possibly because of the way in which I walk. So it would not have worked to go after them to apologise (it was, I felt, well past the time by that time in any event) and I don't give body language and sometimes end up inadvertently staring at someone when not meant and, strangely enough, most people don't like that:rotfl:. It just - sometimes I turn into a temporary anthropologist, I like studying things, including you:eek::rotfl::rotfl:, but I try actively to avoid staring at people (unless we're playing a "staring game" as friends and doing it for that).

So I didn't apologise and didn't get any urge to do so. Maybe most people would but maybe I have misunderstood something (probably another social thing that has been kept away from me and me totally unaware of for over 40 years:rotfl::rotfl:). Although, if you bump into me accidentally (or I do the same to you), you get an automatic "sorry". (I did so recently - I don't normally do this - to one stranger twice:eek:, accidentally each time in the space of a few minutes, and apologised (automatic reflex) in total twice - that was a little awkward on the second occasion though. But then I am clumsy and sometimes that's most probably the reason I accidentally bump into others or maybe it increases my likelihood of doing so slightly compared to most people.) Notice how, when you bump into me, and nearly everyone else does this, you get the apology from me, for what you did:rotfl:. Normally I get the "apology" the other way too but sometimes people bump into others and the person bumped into apologises:rotfl:.

I do try actively to cross the road to be away from a woman if I am alone and she's walking down the road at night near to me. I usually cross over to the other side of the road so as to not be on the same side as she is. I am not threatening in any way, or I hope not, but I know how someone who is a complete stranger to you can be threatening even by just being there in a certain place. (And also someone known to you can be threatening by just being there if they have done bad things to you.) There's probably many things that I think of, actively, and think about a lot of the time, that most people don't even consider - it can be quite tricky, as a person with Asperger's (though maybe this applies for other people too as I've never seen how it is from the non-autistic POV) in ensuring that you are socially acceptable at all times:rotfl:.

EDIT: Or actually - here we go, boring drone as I have to consider it in detail, not necessarily being socially acceptable as sometimes, even if something is socially "unacceptable", whatever it may be that isn't too serious, people aren't actually bothered by it and it's okay or sometimes you can pretend to be "unacceptable" but that's part of the understood joke between the two of you or all people that are present. Sometimes, with people in RL knowing my Asperger's, I say things deliberately that I don't really believe (or maybe I slightly do:rotfl::rotfl:) that are known to them as just intending to be outrageous but merely gets them laughing a lot rather than being offended or upset. I will say something that most people definitely would not say but I'll do it profoundly and they expect me to say - even though, really, probably(:rotfl:) I don't mean it and it just gets them laughing. I think the ambiguity about whether I'm serious or not works! I upset two people, unwittingly and unknowingly, each on one separate occasion, in my early life. After that, in similar situations, not knowing what to say, I said nothing at all. And, even now, I know that people most often do not like the truth - and, as I can't tell a lie, I just button my lip and never tell them anything at all (except that unfortunately my silence then speaks volumes sometimes:rotfl:, but how am I to know?). I think my silence does mean that things that would have been useful to people, had they not been upset by them, don't get said at all. I just don't know how to put them tactfully, so I don't try to put them at all. So, if you are doing a plan and it really isn't working, but you cannot see this, then I will say nothing at all and your plan will inevitably fail in five years' time then leaving you will far more work to rectify things than you would ever have had if you had changed the plan in the first place. However, unfortunately I could not tell you as saying you were dong something wrong might have upset you and I know especially it may have done so as it was the truth!

Anyway, I hold out no hope (but it doesn't bother me, as 'other's loss not mine') as, even if I try to say something, most people very often don't listen to it (or maybe it is, if they do, they ignore it) as they think they are right when they are not and will continue regardless as they hold onto their own views, often regardless of how much rational evidence is presented to the contrary (people are generally not interested in rational evidence, they are interested only in their own emotional pre-existing opinion!), and will not usually yield to change their views if they are challenged or questioned. (I am not always right btw - I merely maintain that I tend to be right more often than most other people. So, please, don't misunderstand me!) I think some of the problem is there are often misunderstandings in the way I say things though - in speech as the wrong words always come out or else, with my technical formal meanings of all words, I am speaking a different version of the English language that most people don't understand - the words are English but they have a different meaning to what people think and there is a mismatch in the communication between me and other people. People will often imply things that you didn't say (with me, usually(:rotfl:, ha ha, an ambiguity:D) there is no second meaning and I mean directly exactly what I said and no more - however most people are imprecise or don't say things they mean, although I have become used to this or know about it, but I often struggle to know when they mean what they say and when they don't - nowadays I usually assume they don't mean anything they say lol:rotfl: (until evidence is presented to show that they do:rotfl:). So, if you apologise, for a more serious thing (not bumping into me or anything trivial like that that I know you didn't mean), I will usually refuse to accept your apology as you have given me no evidence to show that your apology is genuine and I'm unsure as to whether any of your behaviour means anything or not - it's not as bad as this may paint out though). I don't think you can change other people, at least not unless they want to change themselves.

Btw, what I say is not always true as sometimes I may be mistaken or make mistakes that I may be unaware of - although, if I become aware, I will try to correct my mistake and try to correct what I told you (but often at a point at which you are bored and when it doesn't matter:rotfl:). As far as I'm aware, I'm not mistaken. But that's only as far as I am aware.

It looks bad of me to say that I may be mistaken though, as then people don't believe what you say. I don't do the good presentation or good impressions type of thing. (I'm not here to make myself look good, I'm here to give the truth and sometimes altruisically and against my own interests. However, sometimes I will make myself look good when I actually am:p:rotfl:.) I reveal my mistakes and flaws. Many people will try to hide their mistakes and pretend they don't exist at all. (Though sometimes they will be found out by the person with Asperger's:o:o, when they (that is the non-autistic person) make a claim that cannot be demonstrated to be true). And, whilst the non-autistic people around will nod to the indirectness, all knowing what it really means, sometimes I cannot resist pointing out what it really means:rotfl:.) Actually, I don't know why I'm posting this as, on a day-to-day basis, there isn't really any problem as most things are not really serious and it's minor inaccuracies or largely irrelevancies that the person with autism picks up on (because they are actually not irrelevant to me as everything (not literally literally though!) is relevant and everything of course has to be completely accurate).

Finally, for now, I am thinking at the moment of the time when I gave my mother's age once, when at school, when telling people it was her birthday. Such things that happened long before I was aware that I had my Asperger's condition:rotfl::rotfl:. (I don't quite know why I included the age information now - it occurs to me that I didn't really think about it, or think actively about including it, at the time - of course I was totally unaware of that that's not what you do but I was also a child, so same mistake* could have been made by very young non-Asperger's children. But maybe it was my need for completeness - somehow the sentence "it's my mother's birthday today" just didn't seem complete without the added detail of her age. And she wasn't that old at the time either. I think I vaguely remember she was a little bit furious at the time, when I told her afterwards (and of course I went and told her, truthfully, what I'd said:doh:) but I didn't realise why and I think it all got put down to the fact that I was a young child. But, thinking about it now, I think my mother's age in that situation probably is a bit of a Asperger's thing to say. None of the condition was known about generally at that time, but there have been all these sorts of things over decades and years, every one of them related in some way to my Asperger's (about which I go on because of my Asperger's) as everything in my life is - it is a pervasive disorder (it affects everything I do, or don't do) - the way I didn't look out into the crowd at one of my university ceremonies, I way I didn't smile properly, everything...).)

*Social mistake, as I don't accept (still won't accept!) that it was a mistake at all on a rational, logical POV as it was the complete truth. But I suppose it was a little "wrong" (although not really wrong or not intentionally anyway since I didn't know I was doing wrong) or, rather, more considered to be wrong as of course on my totally objective view I have no view at all about whether it was right or wrong. I have no view on the matter! As I am impartial. Probably inappropriately so:rotfl:. Now, if my mum had actually been left crying her eyes out, then that would have been wrong. So I do have some emotional feeling after all:rotfl::rotfl:. But often I don't accept things and am stubborn and rigid in my refusal to accept... until the point at which I'm shown evidence as to why I'm wrong and then, immediately and easily, I accept right away and yield much more quickly than anyone else may seem to do! You may think "how can you not know that you don't give your mother's age?" But, as unbelievable as it may seem, or maybe not given that I was a very young child, I did not actually know. Of course I can't produce evidence to show this was the case - however, you'll have to trust that this was my state of mind (and in aid I pray the truth-telling that often arises in my disorder!).

EDIT: :eek::eek:Gosh how long is this post now? (And I'm adding it to now here:rotfl:) Sorry, folks!:o:o:rotfl:;):A

Goodnight - at last:D!:rotfl::rotfl::wave:

Savvybuyer

3Dogs wrote: »

Night Night Elite

I ought to have taken the hint (or, actually, more than that, the direct expression:D:T) from your message:rotfl:.

However... there is an ambiguity there:rotfl: - shut up, Savvy - the fact the word "Now" is in smaller text, does that mean that it's not really meant?:rotfl: As not really applicable. No need to answer, goodnight (well past time) everyone:wave:.

And, just who is "Sleeptight"?:rotfl::rotfl:;) (In other words, I know what you really mean!:cool:)

EDIT: Can't help pointing out the lack of the apostrophe though, in the word "Its" (sic). (Sorry.) No, I really am not sorry so I will not pretend:rotfl:.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH6UiJo9Kik

elainemn

Good morning. Thanks TM for the PM. Will look at it today

Serendipitious

Good morning all

Serendipitious

Well done to Bubbs xxx

braveheart60uk

Sunshinemummy wrote: »

Very true... x

I have missed most of the week... but I have a train ticket. Tomorrow I am going to Boots for shampoo (I have downloaded the Boots app and loaded the points onto the card).

Do I need to do anything else?

TIA :D:D:D

Not sure if this has been mentioned, go into offers and activate the free 100 points for using card, it is/was weekly, no actual spend required, just use card.

tweets

Good Morning :wave:

tweets

davemorton wrote: »

:rotfl: That can mean all sort of wrongs!

Why do I like this sheepie ? :cool: