Fencing nosy neighbour-long one!!

mittens45

Hello to all!:beer:
We've lived in a semi at the edge of a small village for nearly 5 years now. Us and our 2 young children. We've always felt the silly 3.5/4' picket fence our neighbours put up was an issue, and a huge invasion of our privacy, BUT they were nice enough if a little elusive. We were told it was a shared boundary and let live. I always felt like we had to say hello and acknowledge them, and our whole garden is on display to them- the houses are staggered slightly.
They often have people around and they look into our garden and have spoken to our kids (no biggie) but now they are both being quite viscous.
Explanation:
We're having building work done due to structural issues and because a window in OUR old conservatory is now a wall section - the wife next door told me she hates it because it's making her vegetable patch darker in the morning?! ( it really doesn't) And had some strong views that we should of consulted them before deciding to take OUR window out? I was flabbergasted and unsure what to do at this point... fast forward and we've had silly comments about dust from the builders- the builders even offered to do their laundry for them. They complained about the dust on their new car (car parks at the side of our house our car and theirs). The builders offered to valet their car, there as no damage/dust or even concrete they tried to tried to say at one point THROWN over their car.
We stayed friendly to them, and asked them how they'd feel about a new fence given they were compalining a fence would stop the dust, ect.
The old fence is is rickety and WOW! I'd barely got 10 words in and they upped and left- I got ignored for 3 days and told rather rudely that I could only put 5' pickets up, and no more. Her laundry may get damaged on a tall was the reason!! Shared fence line, so i suck it up, but something was up as we discovered from another neighbour THEY put the picket fence up years before and the previous owner hadn't been aware. After a debate as we really wanted a fence due to their on going visitors they were adamant it's shared but I routed out the deeds.
We spoke to a solicitor who confirmed it is NOT a shared fence line but theirs, and if we replace the fence it's theirs 'gifted'.
So my husband is very ill and one night he came back early, and apparently parked in THEIR space (not named in deeds or papers), and the wife went bat poo crazy at me and scared our 5 year old. Yelling at me from from our window to never speak to her again, ect...:mad:
I had it out calmly with her husband outside who apologized for her behavior and was obviously embarrassed, but was still rude and watched my husband move our car, ( there were 2 other spaces he could of used right next door and they could of knocked on our door to discuss this).
I then told him if he didn't sort this silliness out we're putting a 6' fence up after all because I wouldn't tolerate my kids being scared by her outburst.
Now for the last 3 weeks, both refusing to talk to us, staring at us in the garden, looking from their garden into our house, ect. Interrupting the builders with questions/comments.
And the latest, when I got a fencer in, our side of the garden only, the wife got really nasty, interrupted our conversation, ignoring me, and at the mention of a fence she slammed her door. I tried to embarrassingly explain the situation- well, whatever I can't figure this out, but he was OK and aid he'd dealt with worse neighbours!
She later continued to stare in our house from their garden again. My kids are now unhappy and my eldest won't even come out in the garden, and I feel like by wanting privacy( after tolerating 4 years of this) i'm doing something wrong. We genuinely are the innocent party and our only explanation is they actually WANT to be nosy on us. :eek:
Have I missed a point here? Council, planning , land registry and a solicitor who went through the deeds, have all said we can put a fence up on our our land but the neighbours are making me feel awful about this now.
Any ideas? I have tried to speak to them but they won't even acknowledge us. We're planning on moving next year anyhow, but I hate arguments and I know I don't owe them anything, but still.... ]
any advice or others who've suffered similar?
Thank you :rotfl:

PasturesNew

Put mirrors up ... can be that plastiglass ... so when she looks into your garden she sees herself in the mirror staring back. That'll be offputting.

Jamiesmum

Can you not put a fence up just behind their one? But keep it on your property?

Could you also extend it down to separate the driveways?

Mojisola

mittens45 wrote: »

I then told him if he didn't sort this silliness out we're putting a 6' fence up after all

Now for the last 3 weeks, both refusing to talk to us, staring at us in the garden, looking from their garden into our house, ect.

So put up a 2m fence on your side of the boundary.

Stagger the position of the fence posts so that you lose the smallest amount of garden possible because the chances are that they will take down the old fence and your new fence will become the boundary.

peachyprice

A boundary and a fence are not one in the same. There's nothing at all stopping you putting up a 6ft fence on your side of the boundary. Just leave their fence there and put yours up within your land, your privacy must be worth losing 6" of garden!

Rain_Shadow

You could try writing a suitably worded message on the side of your new fence that faces the neighbours that will only be visible if they take the old fence down.

Bogof_Babe

Put your fence up, you are perfectly entitled to do so.

I would try to take any opportunity to rebuild relationships though, especially as you are selling in a couple of years, and will be obliged to disclose any ongoing neighbour disputes, which may affect the saleability of your property.

saverbuyer

I'd be putting a 6 foot fence, with trellis up tout sweet.

kathrynha

I'd definitely be putting my own 6ft fence up, but take time-stamped photos of the current boundary before you do, so that you have a record of where the current boundary is.

mittens45

Thank you everyone. Our last resort is indeed putting up a fence inside the boundary on our side by 6-12 inches. Got a call earlier from a chap who'll pop one in next week. He's a pro and has done problem neighbours before. We want to do this asap to prevent it becoming a dispute- as you say Bog_off Babe,we're keeping it very amicable, and not involving the council complaints, or authorities. Our solicitor mentioned we either need to erect a fence or basically put up with them seeing us till we sell to prevent it becoming a dispute. If it was just the ignoring I'd be fine with it, but i'm a private person and they are now being excessively nosy. If they'd speak I'd probably cancel the fence, but thank you everyone for your ideas/views. Our estate agent who wants to handle the sale has confirmed this morning that buyers want a proper privacy fence, not a 4' picket fence so it needs to be done before we sell too.
PasturesNew- I'd hear the screaming.:eek: but a fun idea!
Kathrynha- that's great advice, thank you.

dominoman

If you're selling don't bother putting up a new fence.

Let the buyers decide what they want to do. They make like it as is. Not your problem once you've moved.